Prince Charming
by timelessS2clois
Summary: Sakura's been waiting 26 yrs for prince charming to arrive and she starts hoping that her boss is it. But what happens when fate tells her no, that the one she's been waiting for is none other than Syaoran, the sarcastic jerk sitting beside her at work?
1. Chapter 1

_**Full summary:** Sakura's been waiting 26 long years for prince charming to come to her doorstep and she starts believing, hoping that her boss is the one. But what happens when fate tells her no and that the one she's been waiting for all this time is actually the sarcastic, arrogant and not-so-prince-charming jerk sitting beside her at work?_

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**PRINCE CHARMING**

**Chapter 1**

At her desk, Sakura Kinomoto turned her chair around so she could watch her boss of almost three years now, Soshi Matsumoto, step out of the elevator. She felt her heart sigh at the sight of him. She had admired him for a long time, because he was just so...perfect. From the way he carried himself to the way he dressed, even to the way he spoke. He was beautiful.

She had experienced two relationships in all her life. Both were somewhat doomed to failure and nevertheless ended amiably. She hadn't experienced love either time. In truth, both relationships had been pathetic from the get-go. And here she was now, at the age of twenty-six years old, and had no clue what it was like to be in love. As much as she admired Soshi, she knew this was infatuation. Her heart yearned to experience the real thing. But why the hell was it taking so long to get to her?

Now waving at Soshi as he passed her with a friendly smile, Sakura hoped she was getting closer to feeling it. When Soshi was out of sight, she let out a happy sound.

"Wipe that drool on your face now," a dry voice from the cubicle beside hers suggested.

Sakura's eyes narrowed. This guy really made it a mission to get under her skin at least once a day.

Syaoran Li flashed a grin. "You should just ask him out if you're this desperate."

"Syaoran…!" She turned around completely on her chair, throwing him a furious glare. "Can you just mind your own business for one day and let me do what I want to do without giving me a hard time about it? Is that so hard to do?"

"Yeah, it is." He leaned back against his chair, swinging it from side to side. "You're too funny when you're pissed off, Sakura."

Syaoran Li was her junior in this company, having been hired a year after she was employed. So as the senior, she was supposed to have authority. Instead, he took the reins as soon as he'd stepped foot into the company, despite her best efforts to keep him from doing so. It wasn't a surprise that she immediately disliked his personality the first time they were introduced to each other. He had been and still was full of confidence and cockiness.

She shoved her palm in front of his face. "Do not let me see your face the rest of today or I swear I will punch your jaw out." Sakura pushed her chair in the desk and hid her face behind the cubicle divider.

When her phone rang, Sakura picked it up quickly, hoping for Syaoran's sake it was Soshi, and it was. "Good morning, Soshi." Feeling her mood brighten immediately, she inched forward on her desk and held the phone closer to her ear.

Syaoran glanced down at the papers in front of him, but left an open ear. Teasing Sakura was so much more fun than doing work. There was something invigorating about breaking that starry-eyed look in her face. She was so damned naïve and romantic about everything that it was almost comical to watch. She was definitely one of a kind. Hearing her phone conversation from his own cubicle, Syaoran laughed obnoxiously.

Suddenly, he felt himself inch away from his desk. His chair rolled along the marble floor. He looked up and saw Sakura's foot sticking out. Amused that he'd gotten right under skin just enough, Syaoran got up from his seat. "And who would have thought that you have incredibly powerful man legs?"

At that, she turned, her fist ready to land on his face. He dodged it gracefully, capturing her fist in his larger hand. Realizing people were beginning to stare, Syaoran grinned as he released it then put his hands up in surrender. When she continued to shoot icy daggers with her eyes, he sat back down and pushed his chair in.

"Go die, Syaoran." She said after she put the phone down.

At that, Syaoran's grin faded. Sakura didn't notice. Instead, in frustration, Sakura buried herself in her work. Let's face it, she thought. The guy had no substance. He may look decent, but his personality was badly lacking. And that was just too damn bad.

...

When the day ended, Sakura turned off her computer and tidied up her desk. As she stood and pushed her chair in, her gaze fleetingly travelled to the prick sitting beside her. Syaoran was still buried in his work. Come to think of it, he was always still working when her shift ended. Sakura wondered why that was so, but left it alone. She reminded herself that he wasn't worth any moment of her time. Without saying goodbye, she turned to walk away when he spoke up.

"Hey, wait. I think Matsumoto's leaving his office. Here's your chance, Sakura!"

She quickly turned towards Soshi's office. There was no sight of him anywhere. Sakura's head shifted from side to side. Still nothing.

Oh that _jerk! _A frustrated sound came out of her throat as she spun around and met his gaze. He was sitting on his chair in a very relaxed position and seemingly having the time of his life. Oh, she wanted to punch him. When he started laughing, Sakura didn't hesitate and marched towards him, full of embarrassment and anger.

"If I could just put a curse on you, I really would!" Then she grabbed a chunk of his hair and pulled. Extremely hard.

"Holy mother of-" He grabbed at her hand, prying off her fingers from his hair. "Geez! You're not a woman, are you?" He fixed his hair as soon as Sakura let go. "I never knew you were this violent. What other bizarre traits are you hiding about yourself?"

Knowing it was a lost cause, she turned her back on him and went to the elevator. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why Syaoran had to irritate her to no end like this. It was frustrating to work with someone who knew her weaknesses so well and get made fun of for it. She guessed, as there were adorable, perfect guys like Soshi, there had to be their counterparts as well. A blood vessel on her forehead threatened to pop.

The elevator doors opened. To her surprise, Soshi stood inside, standing there looking...perfect. Even his posture was perfectly straight. His tailored suit had no wrinkles whatsoever. Caught off guard at how flawless he looked, Sakura felt her face flush as she stepped in. "Hi Soshi," she greeted with a bright smile. Syaoran really needed to take some lessons from this guy.

"Sakura. How are you? You worked hard today," he commented, flashing his white teeth.

Soshi Matsumoto was a fairly tall man. The ideal height of male models. He even had the slim body for that line of work. Sakura often wondered if Soshi ever made a career out of it at one point in his life. Despite his impressive physique, she still couldn't get over the fact that he stood eye-to-eye with Syaoran. Syaoran, the wild-haired, sarcastic brute she sat beside, was actually just as friggin' tall. Fortunately, unlike the latter, Soshi looked sophisticated and stunning. Syaoran was just... rugged and messy-looking. She bit back a disgusted look while picturing Syaoran in her head.

Looking at Soshi now, Sakura used the opportunity to memorize his face. His blonde hair was wild and wavy, framing his narrow and thin face. He wore rectangular white-rimmed glasses that accentuated his features. His lips were thin and his nose was angled much like royalty. Soshi, she guessed, probably had mixed heritage. He didn't look Japanese at all.

When he smiled, it was as though the rest of the world vanished. She could drown in his smile all day long. "Um, yes, it was a productive day," she responded.

"That's great. You're getting along well with your co-workers?" He asked, keeping his tone polite.

At that, Syaoran's face instinctively popped up in her head once more. This time, she mentally punched the guy's face repeatedly. "Mm-hmm. They're fabulous."

"That's lovely." Soshi's voice was so melodious and soft. He was just so prince-like, like out of a fairytale. It has to be him, she thought. This has to be the one I've been waiting for all my life.

"Soshi, I…" Sakura wanted to tell him, but the fear of rejection suddenly came over her, as it always did every time she was about to confess. "I…"

The elevator doors opened. Soshi just smiled again. "Have a good night," he waved goodbye after he stepped out of the elevator.

Sakura let her head drop against the elevator door when it closed. Feeling miserable, she asked herself why. Why couldn't she just tell him? So what if he didn't reciprocate her feelings? At least she wouldn't have to suffer like this. Syaoran was right, she thought gloomily. Why did he have to be right all the time? She _was_ desperate. She wanted Soshi. Badly. It was almost pitiful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Syaoran stared up at the ceiling. The digital clock on the top of his drawer flashed 3:00 AM. He had just woken up from all-too-familiar nightmare. He'd been suffering insomnia since graduating from university almost four years ago.

Syaoran let his mind drift to the reason why he'd developed insomnia in the first place. His past was... convoluted, for lack of a better word. He'd been alone for a good portion of his life. He'd always been unable to lean on anyone and no one leaned on him in return. Trust was something he wasn't taught growing up. Since he was a child, people he'd met either walked away, disappeared, or threw him out of their lives.

Knowing he wouldn't get any more sleep, he got out of his bed and prepared a quick breakfast. Might as well get some exercise done while we're at it, he thought as he put on his training gear.

:::::::::

Sakura walked back into the office after having eaten out. Feeling full, she felt like taking a quick nap before going right back to work, but once she'd reached her desk, she saw the sleeping Syaoran resting his head against his arm. The man was dead asleep. With saliva slowly dripping down the side of his mouth. Laughter begun to bubble up inside her, but she covered her mouth to keep from waking him up. She shook her head, finding the situation too comical. He looked so ridiculous.

Without hesitation, she grabbed her cell phone out of her bag. Ever so silently, she stepped closer, turned on the camera on her phone, and zoomed in on his face.

She pressed the click button, and just when the phone made the noise, Syaoran's head bobbed. He opened his eyes tentatively. Then he heard the snickering. He blinked his eyes several times against the light then looked over the cubicle divider. There was Sakura, doing a horrible job covering up her laughter. Without feeling embarrassed, he caught the drool sliding down the side of his mouth and wiped at it with his hand. "Why are you cackling?"

She scowled at his choice of words, but shook her head innocently. "I was laughing. Is it a crime to laugh? I just had a great lunch is all."

Suspicious, but still tired, Syaoran sighed, then stretched his back. He was exhausted. How long would this go on, having insomnia? What if one day, he would never be able to sleep again? At that, Syaoran dropped his forehead against his desk, trying to erase that depressing thought. That was physiologically impossible, right?

"You can't fall asleep at work, Syaoran. Just a reminder in case you've forgotten," Sakura commented again. "Otherwise…you might get fired for it."

He just replied with a grunt, then straightened up. "No way in hell that'll happen." At that, Syaoran slapped his cheeks several times. There were a good 3 hours left of work to do. Get through it, he reminded himself, and get on home and take a proper nap. "Besides, why would I give _you_, of all people, the pleasure to see me walk out of here permanently?"

Why was it that she could never win a witty argument against him? She pursed her lips, attempting to stay calm. He always had to have a rebuttal on everything. Not to worry, Sakura. There's that great picture in your phone. Then she broke out smiling slyly, feeling like she had the upper hand. "Oh I don't know. If I were you, I'd be careful with your words. I mean…what would you do if a certain embarrassing picture of you got out to the whole company? What if there was proof that you were sleeping on the job?" She chuckled when Syaoran got up on his feet.

He spun her chair around so she faced him. "What are you talking about?"

She shrugged. "If I had some proof that you were sleeping during working hours…drooling horribly at it, mind you…you'd probably get into a _lot_ of trouble, wouldn't you?"

Despite his lack of an outward reaction, he couldn't believe he let his guard down for a second. With indifference he could muster up at once, he said, "Show it to me." He motioned to grab her cell phone that was on the desk.

Quickly reacting to it, Sakura took it out of the path of his reaching hand. "I don't think so. You're in my personal space by the way. Move." She replied coolly.

"Don't be so childish, Kinomoto." He hoped she'd get so annoyed with him that she'd momentarily forget about her phone. She was so scatterbrained it could work, he thought.

"That's not going to work this time, buddy! You better be nice to me if you don't want anyone to find out how you look when you're peacefully asleep like an ugly baby." Sakura grinned, shoving her cell phone into the back pocket of her pants and completely out of his reach.

He glowered at her, not having enough energy to chase after it. "All right fine." Child games weren't his forte. Shit that was a lie. He was just too tired to get up and grab it from her. "You win this time. I'm going back to work." He went back to his own cubicle.

Sakura smiled to herself in victory, then continued working. _Serves you right for messing with me_. She wasn't a pushover nor was she the type of woman who wouldn't fight back. Enough pushing and she had to defend herself, even if her methods were a little…adolescent. Doesn't matter, Sakura thought. As long as she had the upper hand, she repeated with satisfaction.

:::::::::

Tomoyo Daidouji arrived at Sakura's cubicle and found it empty. Wondering where her best friend since college had gone, she sat on Sakura's chair and spun around absently. Despite working under the same company for almost a year now, Tomoyo wasn't familiar with anyone in Sakura's floor. That is, except for Syaoran. And that was because her best friend had a great deal of stories to say about the man.

Tomoyo took a glimpse. Syaoran Li was sitting on his chair, studying his computer screen, and despite Sakura's description of him, looked gorgeous even from behind. Sakura always described him as a nonchalant type of guy who didn't seem to care about anything but himself, and yet watching him now, she could see he was working fairly diligently. With curiosity, she stood and walked over.

"You must be Syaoran."

He turned slightly. The light grey eyes brightened when they met his. Her shoulder-length violet hair bobbed as she bent slightly and offered her hand. Though they had never been introduced, Syaoran was vaguely aware of this woman who seemed to be Sakura's companion on most days. He had to give points to Sakura for finding a pretty friend to hang out with. A grin immediately came onto his face as he stood and took her hand.

"That's me. More importantly, who are you?"

"Tomoyo Daidouji, Sakura's friend. So I've heard wonderful things about you." Her smile widened when Syaoran burst into laughter.

"No doubt about it. Don't tell me, are you replacing Sakura here?"

Tomoyo laughed as she shook her head. So there really was some tension between these two. "Definitely not that. I work a few floors down. She called me earlier, but I couldn't get back to her. Do you know where she could be?"

"If you've heard about me, you must've heard plenty about our boss. She's probably following him around like a lost puppy dog right about now."

The reference amused her. She tried picturing the cruel, heartless man Sakura described him to be, and found it difficult to match it with the man standing in front of her right now. Syaoran was in fact actually quite amiable. "Syaoran, you're not as bad as she makes you out to be. There's a lot of charm under that smile of yours."

At the compliment, Syaoran began to wonder why in the world he had to be sitting with Sakura when there was a perfectly great woman like Tomoyo right around the corner. "You should be working in this floor instead, Tomoyo. I'd take care of you."

Tomoyo laughed again, flattered. Just as she was about to form a reply, the sound of loud footsteps came from behind them. Syaoran was the first to look up and caught the evil glare shooting out of Sakura's eyes. After years of it, Syaoran was proud to say he had grown immune to it. Unaffected, he merely smiled mockingly in return.

Tomoyo turned and took Sakura's arm. "Hello friend. Where've you been?"

Sakura ignored her friend and separated the two. She stood as though to protect Tomoyo from him. "Tomoyo, ignore this man. Please consider him nonexistent from now on. You don't want to waste precious time talking to him."

Syaoran rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about? She said I was charming," he pointed out with emphasis, just as his eyes travelled past Sakura and met Tomoyo's gaze. His easy smile returned. "You'll come visit me next time, right?"

At the sight, Sakura gave him a forceful shove back. Tomoyo quickly grabbed her and pulled her along. "Nice to meet you, Syaoran. Time for lunch! Come on, come on." She dragged Sakura all the way to the elevator, at which point Sakura turned around and sent her a deep frown.

"He drives me insane. I'm slowly losing my mind because of him." She declared, placing her hands on Tomoyo's shoulders. "Can you please do me a favour and just not talk to him? I think I really will go crazy if you and Syaoran somehow become friends, or even worse, start dating." She let out a quiet moan in helplessness.

Tomoyo just patted her friend's shoulder in comfort. "I don't know, Sakura. He doesn't seem so bad. Just having fun with you, I think. And to add to that...you didn't tell me how gorgeous he is!"

"I'll interrupt you there. He's not _gorgeous, _not even in the same league as Soshi. Syaoran lacks so much finesse and-and… manners. He's too arrogant and thinks he's God's gift to women. Honestly, it's the most annoying personality I've ever had to deal with in my life! Okay, talking about him to this extent is already giving me a migraine. Let's change the topic."

They walked out of the building and down one of the busiest streets in downtown Tokyo. The two women frequently lunched together and spent many lunch breaks trying out all sorts of restaurants in the vicinity. They had made it a mission to find the best restaurant in all of downtown, and after three months, there was still no particular restaurant that stood apart from the rest. Hundreds filled the streets after all.

"Fine, but you shouldn't be so uptight about Syaoran. He probably just likes to tease you because you're so cute when you're angry!" When Sakura just scowled, Tomoyo laughed. She put her arm over Sakura's shoulders loosely. "Okay, changing topic now. Eriol's back. It shouldn't bother me this much, but it is, so I'm a little out of sorts. Why didn't he just stay in Paris and marry some long-legged model instead of coming back here?"

Sakura sent her friend a sympathetic smile and patted her hand. "Tomoyo, he's your first love. You can't fool me that there's not one part of you that wants to see him again."

Tomoyo put on her sunglasses and sniffed in haughtiness. "For your information, I _don't_ want to see him again. I've had a good life since he walked out on me. My heart's doing very well now and my priorities have changed since he did. Right now I just want to have fun and enjoy what's left of my youth. Being in a serious relationship is exhausting and painful and so not worth my time."

"Only someone who's been in one can say that. Look at me. Two failed relationships, neither of them serious, and the breakups were anything but sad. I'm actually starting to think Syaoran's right. I am desperate for a serious relationship right now. With Soshi," she added the last bit firmly.

"Stop living in a fantasy, Sakura. Guys like Soshi, they look perfect on the outside, but you really don't know what kind of person they are. And you've never seen the man outside of work. He has got to have flaws. No man can be as perfect as you describe him." Tomoyo looked around and saw a red sign for a Korean BBQ restaurant. "I'm up for some barbeque. Let's go there."

When they were seated at a two-seater table, Sakura let out a heavy sigh and clasped her hands together in front of her. Tomoyo glanced up after quickly looking over the menu and noticed the resolute look in Sakura's face. Her brow rose in question. "What's the matter?"

"I just want to clarify right now that it doesn't matter what you or anyone else thinks about Soshi. I truly believe he is the most beautiful, most perfect man I've ever laid my eyes on. I may not know how he is outside of work, but I imagine he's just as kind and sweet to his family and friends as he is with his employees." After the remark, Sakura finally picked up the menu. "Just to clarify," she added.

Tomoyo laughed delightedly, finding her best friend much too adorable. "Okay, okay, I give up. Soshi is Sakura's perfect prince. Now let's order, please? I'm so hungry."

Sakura flashed a cute smile. "Fine."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Summer had finally arrived. As Sakura took a sip from her iced glass of water, she recalled those summer days in her youth. They were filled with some of her best memories of life. In high school, her and a group of her friends spent many hot sunny days at the beach, relaxing and having picnics every so often. The summer festival and fireworks were also the immensely fun events she loved about summer. She remembered the desperate desire for a boyfriend just for those experiences. Looking back at it now, Sakura wondered when a romance-filled summer would ever come her way.

When a trickle of sweat travelled down the back of her neck, she bit back the urge to growl. For a moment there, as she stared out the glass window and enjoyed the scenery, she momentarily forgot how excruciatingly hot it was in the office. It was like sitting in an oven. The air conditioner was malfunctioning while the hundreds of computers lying around continued to spew out heat. It didn't help that at that particular moment in time, the sun was brightly glaring on their side of the office.

Just as she picked up an empty folder to fan herself, Syaoran abruptly stood from his desk. "I'm done. I can't work like this."

She turned, looked up, and embarrassingly did a double take. His usually buttoned up collared shirt was carelessly open at his throat down to his collar bone. Her pulse bumped involuntarily. It had never crossed her mind that he was attractive in any way, so seeing him now looking so shamelessly sexy burned her cheeks. At the realization of where her thoughts were going, Sakura turned away immediately and pressed the cold glass of water to her cheeks. _What am I thinking? This is insane!_

Trying to come off unaffected by that little sequence, she asked, "Why are you so worked up? Are you actually planning to go home now?"

He stared down at her with disbelief, then caught the ice water on her desk. He reached over and downed it in one go. She stared at him, speechless. When he passed her the glass, he said, "Don't tell me you can actually work productively in this heat. I'm not going home. I'm getting ice cream."

Immediately, Sakura lost all inspiration to argue. When it came to ice cream, she often let go of her pride without a second thought. "Wait!" She called when he walked past her.

Annoyed with the distraction, he turned back around. "What?"

"Ice cream? You're going to get ice cream right now?" Unaware that he was staring at her with such scrutiny, she walked towards him, deliberately clasping her hands together so as not to grab his arm in excitement. "Can you…buy me one?"

"Get real." Astonished at this newfound side of Sakura, a mischievous smile slowly appeared on his face. "So…ice cream must be your weakness, huh? That is good to know." He then turned his back on her and continued walking, but just as he neared the elevator, she took his arm and pulled forcefully. He threw her an exasperated look. "What the hell?"

"If you're not going to buy me one, I'm coming to get one myself."

He pried off her fingers and pushed her back a step. "Do whatever you want."

At a nearby ice cream vendor, Syaoran ordered mint chocolate chip ice cream, followed by Sakura, who ordered a little more than necessary. On top of her sugar cone were three scoops of mango, strawberry, and vanilla-flavored ice cream. Syaoran sent her a look of disapproval as she worriedly grabbed a handful of tissues from the ice cream man. As big a fan of ice cream he was, this was too much. How was she going to finish that by the time they got back to the office?

"I'm in heaven!" She cried out happily, biting gently at the top scoop. "That's the first smart idea you've had since I met you, getting ice cream."

He absently wiped at the sweat on the side of his face. "You're so slow. How did it take you this long to figure out that I'm a damn genius?"

She snorted. "Please. You're the farthest thing to a genius. Half the time we're at work, you look like you're still figuring out what it is that you actually do."

"So you're telling me right now that you spend half of every day watching me. I mean, how else would you know what I look like half the time at work? You're actually attracted to me, aren't you?" He caught the open-mouthed stare of disbelief she sent his way and pushed back his laughter. "I never thought I'd live to see the day that Sakura Kinomoto stops thinking about Soshi for even one minute and actually considers someone who's better in every possible way. Who knew you actually had some sense in you?"

Finally finding her words, Sakura threw an unbelievably strong punch at his shoulder. "Shut up! Stop talking!"

This was why he loved riling her up. Her reactions were unique and droll and never failed to make him laugh. "It's because I'm right that you're mad."

"_No!_ You're completely wrong! Ugh, Syaoran, I hate you!" Embarrassed and frustrated, Sakura gave him a shove. "How did you end up sitting by my desk anyway? Every day is so unbearable because of you. I can't stand you, I hate your jokes, you're not funny in any way, and I really, really hate the fact that you make a fool of me any moment you can! You can go die for all I care."

The sudden coldness that came over his features made her stop. There was no trace of that relaxed smile that was there mere seconds ago. That easy-going, nonchalant attitude he always exuded even when she threw fits at him was gone. He grabbed her arm.

"So if I died right now, you wouldn't give a shit." It bothered him how people could easily throw words like that into normal conversation. Dying wasn't a joke. Rarely did Syaoran ever feel angry or let out his anger, but moments like that pushed him to the limit. When she stared back at him with question in her eyes, he released her arm. "Don't yell out words like that unless you really mean it, Sakura."

Deeply frowning, she instinctively rubbed on her arm. He had grabbed her so forcefully. Unable to understand, she replied, "I'm really fed up with you, Syaoran. That's what I meant by it." Sakura looked down at her tower of ice cream and suddenly felt miserable.

He let out a mirthless chuckle. "Yeah I know. I'm evil, right? The most arrogant bastard you've ever met," he concluded. "I'm actually surprised you're still talking to me right now. How about we just stop with the courtesy then? You probably hate me more than you've ever hated anybody. From now on, I'll get out of your way." With a cool stare, he turned and walked away.

Sakura took a deep breath as she watched him disappear into the crowd. Shouldn't that have made her happy? The idea of Syaoran no longer bothering her at work was supposed to be a moment of victory. But now as she stood on the sidewalk, with her ice cream slowly dripping against the hot sun, she could still picture that indifferent look in his eyes. A disconcerting feeling settled in her heart. She knew Syaoran for almost two years now, but…_I don't really know him, do I?_ It was the first time she wondered if something bad had happened in his past. What else could explain the way that happy-go-lucky person changed so quickly to become almost heartless?

::::::::::

Usually, every argument they had, big or small, would always be forgotten the next day. It had been three days since the incident and neither had spoken to the other since. For her, it was purely pride. She knew she'd said words that were harsher than necessary, but admitting it out loud was another story. The unkind words they'd thrown at each other that day still rang in her ears. Of course, why it bothered her that Syaoran had kept his promise and stayed away, she couldn't explain. For a long time, she disliked the person she had to work beside. Even at this point, as Sakura stared lifelessly at her computer, the thought of him still irked her. But why did something tug strongly at her at the thought of him completely and blatantly ignoring her existence?

She let out a sigh. It was true that Syaoran annoyed her to pieces and yes, she knew jokes were just that – meaningless and for the fun of it. But some of those jokes really stung. Maybe it was her extra-sensitivity, she mulled. But work wasn't work if he just shut up entirely! Going to work and doing the everyday routine wasn't the same when he didn't say anything to her, not even to just give her a small shove or say something sarcastic. She frowned. All these times, she realized then, Syaoran's presence had become so fixed in her life at work. Suddenly afraid of losing something precious, though she couldn't pinpoint what exactly, she turned.

Timidly, she walked over and pushed the bottom of his chair with her foot.

Feeling the gentle push, Syaoran looked up and met Sakura's tentative gaze.

Syaoran, meanwhile, had spent the last three days wondering what was going to happen between them now. Work had become duller than usual when they didn't interact. It wasn't fun anymore. The last three days had essentially been awful, to say the least. It made him realize that there was no one else in his life worth annoying. Every other co-worker didn't mean anything special. But that didn't mean Sakura was special; he was quick to argue with himself. She was just different. The constant noise that came out of her cubicle had disappeared during that time. It was uncanny. His own reaction to it should have been one of relief; instead, he felt more bothered than he liked to admit.

As he continued to stare at her, she let out a breath then said, "It's been three days already…" Sakura's gaze fell. "I really was out of line. I'm…" She let out another sigh of defeat. "I'm sorry."

Surprised that the apology had actually come out of her first, he could only stare. He never thought she would own up to her mistake or even back down first. Feeling a little admiration for her, he then said, "Me too. Sorry."

Sakura looked back up at him and caught the lopsided grin he sent her way. Relief waved over her immediately, but now she was left with strange emotions. When and how had she begun to enjoy those petty arguments they shared? Still finding it odd, she could only turn back around. Just as she picked up her pen, a smile appeared on her face. He must have missed their spats too, she considered.

::::::::::

At the monthly meeting, Soshi discussed the yearly holiday trip entirely paid for by the company. The point of the vacation was primarily for motivational purposes, but also to give employees a break to enjoy the start of summer. The chosen location was Yuigahama Beach, which was about an hour by train from downtown Tokyo. The beach resort had already been booked and rented by the company for the upcoming three-day weekend. Several departments were invited, including that of Syaoran and Sakura.

In a daze, Sakura sat back against her seat and imagined what it would be like. The beach was, in her opinion, undoubtedly one of the most beautiful places in the world, regardless what beach it was. There was something serene and extraordinary about watching the sea. Just imagining it all right now, the hot sun, the soft sand, the nice breeze, the smell of the ocean, made her want to cry in excitement.

And suddenly, as though lightning struck her, she thought the scene was exactly perfect for a confession. She blinked at the realization. Yes, it truly was! As Tomoyo repeated over and over again, she couldn't just sit back and wait for Soshi to notice her and make the move. _She _was the one had been waiting for prince charming for twenty-six long years and he still had yet to show up at her door. So, as Tomoyo argued, it was time to bring him to the door herself. If she wanted Soshi, she had to work for it. With excitement and newly discovered determination, Sakura fisted her hand and hit the air with it.

"Yuigahama huh…"

With her thoughts interrupted, Sakura spun around. "What about it?"

"That beach isn't as great as they all say, you know." He leaned back, rested his hands behind his head. "There's a whole ton of pollution in the sand now. Not just clams or rocks or whatever. Teenagers, I heard, are using it as the hang-out for drinking. Broken glass everywhere…you know, that's painful for the feet."

She threw a look that reflected disgust and disbelief. "Where do you hear these things? And why do you have to put a damper on my only vacation this whole year? Beach equals paradise, so get over it." He snorted in response. "If you're so against it, don't go." The overly bright smile on her face came suddenly.

"Oh I'm going. I'm not about to miss out on the free vacation. I mean, the beach isn't the only thing Yuigahama has. Just wanted to warn you before you go out there and start bouncing around the sand like a mentally-challenged bunny."

His imagination truly was odd. Sakura decided to ignore his comments as she glimpsed at Soshi's office. He was in a meeting, it seemed. Speaking to herself, she said, "This is my chance, this trip. I have to tell him. It's now or never."

_Here we go again_, Syaoran thought with a vague sense of displeasure. Honestly the woman never took a break when it came to Soshi. It was like her one and only obsession. It was bothersome to be around to hear it. Just what exactly did Sakura see in the guy? Well, physically that was obvious. Soshi couldn't look more like a celebrity even if he dressed up like a homeless person. But other than that, he didn't have anything else to offer. Any conversation Syaoran shared with his beloved boss always ended up being about himself. Soshi was a damn narcissist.

With that last thought, he abandoned that topic. There were more important things to worry about. When he looked down at the papers in front of him, he couldn't escape the heaviness that slowly began to settle in his chest. Yuigahama meant more than to him than just a place to get away. Going back there meant returning to a time in his life he wasn't sure he was ready to face. Syaoran breathed in quietly. Even though four years had already passed.

::::::::::

Though the trip would only be three days long, Sakura had packed considerably more than necessary out of indecision and the need to be prepared for anything. She brought clothes for every event – formal dinner, party, hanging out at the beach, going shopping, whatever it may be. Arriving at the train station early, Sakura found some of her co-workers who were gathered together. While everyone else, as she scanned the group, seemed to just bring either a duffel bag, she had opted for a small luggage.

"Wow! Looks like you brought a lot of clothes." One co-worker commented. "That's good!"

Sakura laughed, mildly embarrassed. "Yeah, I couldn't figure out what to wear for what day, so I decided to bring extras. There are shoes in here too," she patted the handle of the luggage. "You…don't seem to have very much with you, Mina?" The woman was carrying a purse.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm going back tomorrow. My boyfriend wanted to spend the three-day weekend together, but I wanted to at least join the company dinner tonight," she shook her head with a laugh. "But I have to admit, I can't wait to see him."

Unable to hide her jealousy, Sakura slapped her arm, "Man, you're so lucky! It must be so nice to have your other half around, missing him when you're not by his side."

Mina squeezed Sakura's shoulder in sympathy. "Why don't you make your move tonight? Who knows, right? If all things go well, then you and Soshi might be the hottest new item at work."

"I'm planning on it." Sakura smiled, though as she looked over at Soshi who was talking with the other executives, she felt her confidence falter. How exactly was she going to confess? She had never done it before. Thoughts and questions that she had successfully pushed to the back of her mind for days began to resurface now. What if he didn't return her feelings? What would be the point then? Then Tomoyo's voice screamed out, _how will you know if you don't try? _Well, that seemed to be the battle cry that brought up her motivation.

"I hate to lie, so I'll tell you the truth. I'm actually surprised you didn't bring any more than that." Syaoran had finally arrived and made his presence known immediately. "I thought you'd have two luggages, _at least_."

Sakura turned; ready to snap at him, but her words left her. He wasn't holding much; just a duffel bag as everyone else. He wore beige cargo shorts that were frayed at the edges, and a loose sleeveless shirt to match. The outfit showed off his athletic body, with his nicely-shaped arms and legs open for display. She didn't realize how fit he was until now. It made her heart jerk, and at the feeling, she rapidly blinked. _As if_. So he may look good in summer clothing, but he was no match to Soshi's unbeatable classiness.

"Hmm. I'm not surprised that's all you brought. You must not own very many clothes," she remarked with a noncommittal smile.

"I'm just being realistic. It's three days, in a city that's one hour away. Not exactly Okinawa, is it?" He reached over to pick up her luggage. As he thought, it was pretty heavy. "Oh man. You must be planning to put on a fashion show down there."

She snatched the handle from him and set the luggage down with a thud. "Is there anything wrong with liking clothes? So I'm indecisive. Besides…this is all for a purpose."

"Ahh." Syaoran fully understood now. Slightly curious and disgusted at the idea, he asked, "Don't tell me you packed in lingerie too?"

"Pervert!" She punched his shoulder forcefully. "Do you honestly think I would do that?"

"Geez, you are so violent." He lightly rubbed his shoulder, actually feeling the impact of that punch. "I just thought, since you want Matsumoto so much, I figured you'd do anything to get him."

"Don't say anymore! I want this vacation to be great, and you're seriously putting a big dent on it right now. Why don't you go hang out with your buddies over there and leave me alone? For the _whole_ weekend."

He saw the irritation in her face, finding himself more than satisfied, knowing he'd done his job for the day. "That is a great-" She walked away before he could even finish his sentence. "...Idea." He said with a big grin.

…

Upon arrival at the beach resort, Sakura leaned against the wooden balcony railings and looked over at what she could see of the sea. Even at the lobby, she could breathe in the ocean breeze. Immersing herself in it, she momentarily forgot the world and enjoyed this peaceful moment. Finally, I'm in paradise, she thought happily.

"Sakura?"

She turned at the second time her name was called and caught Soshi holding a bunch of keys in his hands. He walked over with a smile. Immediately she remembered where she was, who she was with, and what she was doing there. Slightly embarrassed that she was caught daydreaming, she met him halfway.

"Sorry!" She quickly said as she took the key he passed to her. "I got carried away."

"That's normal in this environment." He spoke optimistically. "So that's the key to your suite. You'll be sharing it with two other women. Is that all right?"

Nodding eagerly, she flashed him a smile. "That's wonderful."

"Great." He returned her smile with a gorgeous and charming grin then turned to the rest of the group to pass the rest of the keys around.

Sakura glanced down at the key and took note of the room number. She would be staying in the seventeenth floor, in the third suite. Fleetingly she wondered if the room would be facing the beach. She hoped it would. When Sakura looked back up, she watched Soshi as he finished handing out the keys. Where was he going to be staying? Suddenly, seeing a flash of movement, Syaoran robbed the key out of her hold. It left her hands before she could even react.

"Ah…!" She turned and reached excessively to grab it back from him. He pushed her away and turned over the key, studying it with a look of disbelief. "Personal space!" She cried, fighting back against his resisting arm. "Didn't you say you'd leave me alone the rest of this trip?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

Noticing the grimace on his face, she pried open his fingers and took his key forcefully. 1704. She blinked. What? How did this happen? So not only was he her seatmate at work but now they were going to be sleeping in rooms across from each other? Was fate really just against her? What else could describe the incredible amount of misfortune she continued to face because of him? Still in denial, she tightened her hold on the key instead of throwing it over the balcony like she wanted to.

Sakura took a deep breath to cool herself down. "Okay, okay, this is okay. It's not totally a lost cause if you never leave your room." She decided firmly. She then shoved the key at his chest. "It's not like you wanted to be here anyway, so you'll either stay in your room for all three days _or _you'll make sure to stay in your room at the moments that I'm outside the hallway. Yes, it'll be perfectly fine! We won't have to see each other at all!" She said positively, trying to smile. She would try her hardest to keep Syaoran from ruining this weekend. This was going to be her only chance with Soshi and she was determined not to let anything stand in the way.

He stared back at her with a mocking look. "You're kidding, right? Why don't we just pretend we don't know each other at all then?" He retorted, hanging his duffel bag over his other shoulder. How was he going to find some time alone if this woman was around? She was a walking distraction, for goodness' sake. "How did this happen anyway? There are at least 50 people here. Why'd my room have to end up across from yours?" Syaoran glanced around then thought of an idea. "Oh, wait. Why don't you ask Boss if you can get another room, maybe one closer to his, farther from mine?"

"Sorry, I can't do that," Soshi interrupted from behind. With an apologetic smile, he patted their shoulders. "It's already been decided and the other rooms are all unavailable. But this shouldn't be a problem, should it? The two of you can get along with each other."

The tone of his voice made Syaoran want to punch him. He talked to them like they were a bunch of kindergarteners. Instead, he pushed back the desire and turned to Sakura just as she looked over at him. After exchanging defiant looks, they faked it out completely. "Yes, we can." Both said immediately, their smiles beaming out positivity.

"Wonderful!"

As soon as Soshi walked off, Sakura stepped back from Syaoran. Stuck now, she grabbed her luggage and pulled it along miserably. Her confidence was already waning, but now she had to deal with Syaoran too?

Syaoran reluctantly walked beside her, more in denial at the thought that that he wouldn't be able to escape from this woman all weekend. This was the one time he needed to be alone, he thought with mild frustration. Now that silence replaced the commotion the two of them had been making, his mind departed from Sakura and centred back onto the source of his uneasiness. As he glanced to his left, he took a good look at the beach and the clear blue sky. He already felt like running away.

"What's with that face? You really hate me that much?" Sakura abruptly asked, noticing the displeasure in his expression.

"What?" Caught off guard, he looked down at her. Realizing that this was the wrong time to wallow in those thoughts, he shook his head and forced them down. "No." In an attempt to look free from anxiety, he gave off a laugh then gave her shoulder a hard slap, as though he was giving a pat on the back of a male friend. It pushed her forward, almost hitting their co-workers in front of her. "I don't hate you, Sakura!"

When she regained her footing, she shot him an angry look. "Need I remind you that I am a woman, not one of your male buddies? Besides, I'm off-limits. No touching." She warned again before walking forward ahead of him.

The heaviness in his chest hadn't gone away, but the fact that she was able to take his mind off it for a moment made him feel a little grateful. Syaoran released a deep breath. Maybe he was making too big of a deal out of this place.

…

At dinner, the company employees gathered at the resort restaurant at precisely 7PM for dinner. The company had booked a section of the restaurant purely for the employees and so the fifty-six people who had come had the liberty to eat any of the dishes set up at the side as part of the buffet. With the scents of various dishes filling up the room, the atmosphere of the group became more homely. Sakura had changed into a light pink, sleeveless sundress. As she walked into the private section of the restaurant, she immediately spotted Soshi who was standing by the railings overlooking the beach. More importantly, he was alone.

Sakura felt her heart skip a beat. If that wasn't a hint, what was? The time had come. _Now or never_, she repeated to herself. She fisted her hands, muttered a _'good luck'_ to herself under her breath then trudged over to him.

"Soshi." As she neared, she resisted the sudden urge to grasp her hands together. "Did you settle in all right?"

"Sakura." He took his time looking at her, pleased at how beautiful she looked in a dress. "You look lovely." He spoke warmly, purposefully setting a charming smile on his face. He was well aware that she had feelings for him. It was clear in her eyes and the way she always acted around him whenever he was present. He knew that many women found him attractive. It was just the way the world worked, he gathered, and he definitely wasn't one to complain.

At the compliment, Sakura felt her pale, white skin turn a rose color. She smiled self-consciously, then tucked a stray hair behind her ear timidly. "Thank you. Soshi, I wanted to ask if…" She glanced up and caught sight of her co-workers slowly coming into the restaurant one by one. _Now! Say it now!_ Her nerves scattered, she immediately faced him again and asked hurriedly, "Do you think we could talk after dinner?"

Pleased, he touched her hand lightly. "Let's go for a walk on the beach after."

At that, her heart burst with all sorts of emotions. Hope and anxiety jumped around in there, along with romantic ideas that couldn't be stopped from storming in. Because she had been replaying his words in her head, it took her several moments to realize that Soshi had already walked off and had begun socializing with everyone. Standing by herself, Sakura let out a big deep breath. Step one was done at least. That was something to be proud of. Tonight was going to be the night she'd confess to him. She would make sure of it.

When they were seated and ready to start dinner, Sakura scanned the table and noticed someone was missing. Someone by the name of Syaoran. With a frown, her eyes searched the whole restaurant and saw no sign of him. Her gaze landed on the staircase that led into the restaurant and still nothing. Where was he? She swivelled to look at the open sandy beach below. Not there either.

When her eyes met Soshi's curious gaze, she realized that she was acting like a confused idiot, looking for someone who she had been hoping would stay away from her all weekend. Sakura shook her head quickly and smiled. _Stop thinking about Syaoran_, she said to herself. But despite the reminder, as she grabbed a piece of garlic bread from the basket, she worried where he might have gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Syaoran let his feet sink deep into the wet sand at every footstep he took. He looked out at the dark sea in front of him. The last time he'd come here was almost four years ago, with his first love. They had never been lovers, but they shared something precious. Acquaintances in high school who became best of friends in university, Yuki and Syaoran were what people would call soul mates.

Syaoran found a clear area on the dry, soft sand and sat cross-legged. He grabbed a small shell by his knee and let the moonlight shine against it. She loved these kinds of things. Yuki, he remembered, would grab so many of them, then throw them into the ocean just before they'd leave the beach. She was rarely happy, but there were moments, especially here, where her smiles and laughter were limitless in a day.

Syaoran had grown up alone, without anyone around him. His parents had abandoned him at a young age and he grew up living with different families throughout his life. Once he graduated from high school, he made it a goal to become independent and live his life with a purpose. Meeting Yuki literally changed him for the better.

All his life, he avoided relationships with people, knowing it would just hurt even more every time they walked away. Yuki, he had decided, would be the only person he'd let in. He fell in love with her, so hard that the only thing left to do was to tell her. He'd found the courage to do so after a long, long time, but she had declined, claiming she didn't feel the same way. Though it bore a wound so deep in his heart, he put their friendship first and kept the pain in.

They were 22 years old when Yuki brought him to this beach for the last time. He didn't know at the time that that day was one he would never forget. She stood, staring out at the sea and sunset. He remembered how long she had her eyes fixed on the view. She had been crying. He could barely hear her over the waves, but what she said had been like a knife stabbed deep into his heart. She had a disease, and it was progressive. There was no cure. And that the last time she'd visited the doctor, he had estimated six months.

"_I wrote you a letter," Yuki said as she glanced down at the water, lapping at her feet. "I know it's stupid and corny, but I put it in a bottle and buried it over there." She pointed to the big rock at the end of the coastline. "Don't open it until…until I'm not here anymore." _

Despite his painful upbringing, when she'd said that to him, it was the only time he'd ever cried in his life. Now Syaoran glanced over at the same rock she'd pointed to. Her death had been too traumatic and painful that he couldn't get himself to come back. It still continued to haunt him how easily a young life could be taken away like that. She was barely twenty-three when her body stopped fighting. Though four years had passed, he never looked for the bottle, not once. He didn't want to read it, afraid and unable to face it head-on.

Whilst immersed deeply in his memories, the sound of shuffling feet broke through his thoughts. Syaoran glanced over and saw Sakura and Soshi walking towards him. _Are you kidding me? _He swore under his breath. They were the last people he wanted to see at that particular moment. Furious that they stormed into his own personal time like this, Syaoran pushed himself up. He couldn't get himself to muster up that usual cheerfulness he usually projected, so instead, he tried for a polite nod.

"Syaoran. We didn't see you at dinner," Soshi spoke first. "Did you settle in all right?"

"Yes, I did."

Sakura studied his face, noticing how there was something so incredibly sad in his expression. Finding it unusual, she could only stare. Not once since she met him had she ever seen him this way. Cautiously, she said, "I thought you hated the beach."

He merely shook his head. "I guess it's not so bad." No sarcastic joke, nothing. He buried his hands in his pockets. "See you guys later." He nodded at Soshi, then met Sakura's eyes briefly.

Her heart pounded. She turned, her gaze unwavering from him even as he walked past her. What had happened?

"Sakura?" Soshi asked, trying to get back her attention.

She was frowning for the second time that night when she turned back to Soshi. Even as she tried to shake it off, her mind remained on Syaoran. What happened? She asked herself once more, with no answer to offer.

Soshi took her hand in his. Jolted at the touch, she met the warmth in his eyes. Then, reminded of why the two of them had come to the beach at this time, Sakura forced Syaoran to the back of her mind. _I'll find out later. _It was the wrong time to be thinking about another man, she reprimanded herself, and placed back all her attention on Soshi. There was one reason why she prepared so much for this trip and the reason was standing beside her. Time to let it all out.

...

In a state of euphoria, Sakura walked back to her suite, feeling as though she was floating in clouds. It couldn't have ended more beautifully. Soshi had accepted her feelings and subsequently gave her a kiss on the cheek. He'd admitted that he felt the same way but was unsure of her feelings. As much as she had wanted this fairy tale dream to come true, she hadn't expected in a million years that it really would happen to her, but now it did. It was a glorious, glorious feeling.

When she arrived at her hotel suite, Syaoran's face popped back to her mind. In mere seconds, the exhilaration dissipated out of her. He'd looked so distraught at the beach, she remembered. He'd never looked that way before. And remembering it now, her heart ached a little. Sakura sighed and rested her forehead against her hand. Why was she so caught up in it anyway? _Remember, this is the Syaoran who bothers and insults you endlessly on a day-to-day basis._ But that was it exactly. He had become an entirely different person out there and it was just plain unusual.

Tentatively, she pivoted and faced the door across from hers. After several moments of hesitation, she brought her fist up and knocked. Waiting for a reply, she stared blankly at the door. What was she expecting out of this?

When it opened, Sakura blinked in surprise. The sadness was gone. There was no trace of it whatsoever. Her eyes narrowed automatically, scrutinizing him.

Syaoran's brow rose as he leaned against the doorway. "What's up?"

"Uh…I guess…you're all right then. But...well...I mean..."

"What are you talking about?"

Still bewildered, her shoulders fell. "Nothing. I guess. Never mind. It's okay. Good night."

As she walked back to her room, he interrupted. "Were you successful?"

Sakura met his gaze again. "I was. He…said he felt the same way." Her voice carried a lilt to it that told him exactly how happy she was. "I guess we'll be spending the rest of the weekend together."

Emotionally tired, Syaoran gave a nod of understanding and smiled slightly. "It's good you got what you wanted." Thrown off at the sincerity, Sakura's brows burrowed. Ignoring her scrutiny, he straightened and held onto the door knob. "Good night."

What the heck was this? No sarcastic comment. No lecture about Soshi being imperfect and boring and a liar. Where were the snide remarks, the famous Syaoran smirk? Oh, what the devil was wrong with him? Aggravated that she had no answers to any of these questions running around in her head, Sakura put her hand against the door to stop it from closing shut.

"Wait."

At the resistance, Syaoran pulled it back. "What?"

"What's wrong?" She demanded. "You…you're being nice! This is so unlike you." She grabbed his arm and pulled him to the hallway. "What happened to you out there? Something must have happened for you to be acting so weird right now," she argued when he began to shake his head in denial. "Tell me."

Annoyance shot through him at the fact that she saw through him completely. "What are you going on about now? I'm just being civil, like Boss asked."

Dissatisfied with his answer, she continued to stare back at him stubbornly. "You rarely listen to Soshi, if ever. Did something happen at the beach? You looked like-"

"Nothing happened," he interrupted curtly. "Everyone's got a right to go wherever they want and do whatever they want." Why the hell did she care so much? "It's none of your business anyway. I'm going back to bed."

She grabbed his arm again, letting out a sigh. "Look...I just...I'm worried, okay?"

Baffled by that, he gave a short laugh. "You, worried about me? That'll be the day." He wasn't in the mood to think about the sincerity in her eyes or his own reaction to it. The day was already bad enough as is. When she let go of his arm, he grabbed the doorknob. "Get some rest."

:::::::::

All in all, the three-day weekend was amazing. Things couldn't have gone better than they did. After spending the entire Saturday together, Sakura had gotten to know Soshi enough to confirm what she'd already known – he was a real prince through and through. He'd talked about how he established himself as executive head chief of a thriving company after giving all his efforts at school and odd jobs that followed. Everything he spoke or did convinced her even more how flawless Soshi was. During their times at the beach, he'd been a perfect gentleman, showering her with sweetness and courtesy.

Now on the train heading back to Tokyo, the sun was beginning to set on what had been a fun-filled Sunday. She had spent much of it in the city with co-workers, visiting the old shops and trying out dishes purely served just in Yuigahama. It was a team bonding experience, one that she enjoyed thoroughly. There were moments where she felt like it was high school all over again; work became nonexistent and they were all just normal people, spending the day together and getting to know each other.

Someone from behind pushed her seat forward. Taken out of her train of thought, she got on her feet and spun back. Syaoran looked up at her, an innocent look in his eyes.

Come to think about it now, Syaoran was gone for most of the weekend. This was the first time since that night that she actually faced him. Either he had completely avoided her or he had gone away from the resort itself. As grateful as she was that he stayed out of her business the entire weekend, she couldn't help but grow curious as to how exactly he spent his time in Yuigahama.

"It's not my fault. You were leaning so far back to the point that the seat hit my foot." He then sent a smile that dripped with sarcasm. "So this must've been a great vacation for you, huh? Did you and the boss get some …intimate moments going-"

"Get your head out of the gutter," she interrupted hotly. The old Syaoran was back, she thought with relief. That other side of him, she wasn't quite sure how to react to. She rested her knee on the seat and reached over to slap the top of his head. "It's none of your business anyway, Li!"

Syaoran laughed as he shielded his head from her outstretched arm.

"And to think I was worried about you for a second there," she muttered. "Don't hit my chair again or I really will pull out every single strand of hair on that ugly head." She then turned back and settled comfortably in her seat. Maybe she really did just imagine it completely.

Syaoran shifted slightly and look out the window. So even after this time, he couldn't do it. He hadn't looked for the bottle, after all. He'd considered it over and over again, even spending a good day at the beach itself so he was close enough to look for it and get it over with. With a dull ache in his heart, he sat back against the seat and wondered how long it would take to be ready, to finally let go and move on. He was just so damn tired already.

::::::::

Sakura stepped out of the building with Soshi's hand in hers. This was going to be their very first lunch together. He'd been unavailable all week following the trip, but eventually he had found some time to spend with her. And as much as she was looking forward to this lunch and essentially their first date together, the new pair of shoes she had bought specifically for this moment was giving her extreme pain and badly hindered her excitement.

Unable to hold it in any longer, she tightened her hold on his hand. "Ah Soshi…I'm sorry, these shoes," she began, embarrassment colouring her cheeks. "I think I need to buy a pair of flip-flops or something. My feet are in pain."

Oblivious to it, he glanced down at the gold, strappy 3-inch heels. What was wrong with them? They were glamorous and beautiful on her feet. "They hurt? Why, did you get the wrong size?"

"What? Oh no, I just…I didn't realize they were going to be this hard to walk in." She explained, still forcing on a smile despite the pain. She hadn't realized, until now, that it was incredibly hard to act delicate and ladylike all the time. "Sorry, do you think we can quickly go to a store selling open-toed sandals?"

Getting hungrier by the second, Soshi glanced down at his watch. "I don't know if we've got the time," he said with regret. He sent her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her hand in support. "Darling, I haven't had a break since the day started. Could we grab something to eat first? We'll look around after, I promise."

Stunned at his reaction, Sakura could only stare. Without waiting for her reply, he turned and led her to his car. As they walked, she followed speechlessly. What the hell? Did he not care that she was hurt right now? Prince charming cares about his woman first and foremost, she argued, so what was he doing right now? Was he really that hungry to ignore her pain?

_Okay, wait, wait, Sakura. Now you're just being bratty_._ Don't be an idiot. You don't want to ruin this! Just because he said something you totally didn't expect doesn't mean he's not prince charming anymore. He must've just worked really hard all day and needs a break. After all, this is Soshi, the man you`ve been waiting for, for a long time._ She took a quiet deep breath. Yes, exactly, she was just being completely selfish, and this was her fault, not his, so why did he have to suffer for it?

…

After a long lunch that Soshi of course paid for, Sakura stood up and immediately felt the back of her heels digging in slowly. She bit back a cry as Soshi took her hand again and pulled her along with him. Every step bit into already-bad blisters, making it even more difficult to keep walking. She opened her mouth to say something, but he spoke just as he glanced over at his watch again. "Sakura, I honestly thought we'd have more time. Looks like we both need to get back to work…that was a terribly long lunch." With an apologetic sigh, he sent her a sympathetic smile. "We just don't have the time to shop now…but I'm sure you'll be fine. You can walk to the parking lot, right?"

Was he kidding? When she continued staring at him, waiting for him to say it was all a joke, he merely stared back at her, patiently waiting for her response. She couldn't believe it. He showed no gentleness and worry for her whatsoever. "Ah…I guess I have no choice now. I'll just go after work," she replied in a murmur.

"There you go. That's a wonderful idea."

Despite how much she'd obsessed over him for years, at that single moment, she badly wanted to punch him in the jaw. When he let her go, Sakura felt bitter discontent. Why didn't he care? So it was her fault for buying such bad shoes, but… When she glanced down at her bleeding ankles, she felt a wave of disappointment cover her.

...

"So much for prince charming," Sakura muttered under her breath when she returned to her desk, limping. Slowly, she pried off the good-for-nothing, expensive shoes. The blisters on her ankles had gotten worse. Of course they did. Damn, there was blood on the backs of the shoes too. She slightly moaned at the pain when she touched one blister tentatively. "What did I do to myself?"

"What happened to you?" Syaoran interrupted from behind. He bent down and caught a glimpse of just how bad the blisters were. Instinctively, he stepped back. "God, why would you do that to yourself?"

The echo of her own question irked her. Great, here was yet another source of frustration. "Leave me alone. I'm already in a bad mood."

She blew at the hair waving in front of her face, exasperated. Suddenly, Syaoran bent down and grabbed hold of her left calf so he could get a better look at her wounds.

Sakura's head shot up. "What are you doing?"

"You need to wipe the dirt off." He then got up, walked to the kitchen, where she saw him grab a piece of paper towel and drenched it with cold water at the sink. Sakura stared in bewilderment.

A moment later, he bent down on one knee and gently wiped the traces of blood away. Sakura twitched several times at the pain, but continued to watch him. Syaoran then grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and dried the blisters thoroughly.

He glanced up at her then, sending her a smirk. "So you're a fashion-over-comfort kind of woman?"

At that, she frowned again, glancing over her shoes now sprawled on the floor. "Well, they're pretty…" She broke off when he carefully placed band-aids at the backs of both ankles.

"Not worth the money if they're going to screw your feet up," he commented when he stood back up. Sakura's stunned expression made him uncomfortable, but he shrugged it off. The woman was hurt; what else was he supposed to do? "So you must've been in a lot of pain all day." With that, he turned back to his desk, grabbed an extra pair of flip-flops, and threw them down at her feet. "You can use these for now."

Still speechless, Sakura slid her feet into them immediately. They were big of course, but they felt like clouds under her feet. As she pressed down her heels on the soft cushion, she swore she heard her feet sing in happiness.

"Ahh…" A smile of delight then came on her face. When she looked up, she caught Syaoran studying her. Her heart jumped a little. Despite the blush blooming on her cheeks, she forced herself not to look away. "Thank you." He'd been so caring at that one moment, which was totally unexpected. Somewhere in her heart, she couldn't deny the fact that she was ridiculously touched.

Syaoran walked back to his desk. "Learn from your mistakes, right?"

She turned in her chair and scooted towards the desk. Without choice, her mind kept replaying the scene over and over again. Syaoran had been more caring about her well-being than Soshi. It was so unreal, so totally far-fetched from her imagination. There was no doubt that she appreciated his kindness, but it felt odd to be on the receiving end of it, after enduring years of insults from this man. It made her question her own judgement. Maybe Syaoran wasn't as self-centred as he was always projecting himself out to be.

Just then, an anxious feeling settled in her stomach as she once again recalled the image of him bending down and cleaning up her wounds. The first time a man had actually taken care of her and it was…Syaoran. Why was her heart pounding at the thought? She shook her head immediately. _I guess he's just one of those people who'll stop and ask a stranger in pain if they're all right. Most people would just walk away and ignore that person. But…he wouldn't. _Sakura looked down at her keyboard, but couldn't concentrate. She meant nothing to Syaoran and he meant nothing to her, she knew that. And yet, that one thing he did for her…made her look at him just a little differently now.

:::::::::

The following morning, Sakura arrived at work and was met with a large bouquet of yellow roses sitting in a vase on top of her desk. Her eyes widened in pleasure and excitement. Were they from Soshi? They had to be! Or no, maybe another admirer in the office? Immediately her eyes searched the desk for anything that looked like a card, then her gaze landed on the white rectangular card lying by the roses.

_These are for not taking care of you like I should have. Please forgive me. – Soshi_

Sakura's heart helplessly melted. So he did realize his mistake. A smile came back to her face. She knew it took a lot for an executive chief to ask for forgiveness, and being a prideful person herself, she knew apologizing was a difficult thing to do. Instantly, she forgave him for everything. She looked back at the flowers, giddy inside, and lowered her head to smell the fragrance. The first time she received flowers and it came from Soshi. He couldn't have been more perfect.

"Women still fall all over this kind of thing? That's really sad."

Oh, why in the most beautiful morning of mornings did he have to taint it? She didn't bother to glare. "Unlike you, other men actually know what women want. This is why you don't have a girlfriend." Then she met his eyes and beamed.

Syaoran snorted as he leaned over and grabbed one of the roses. "Right, like that's what you wanted when you couldn't even walk yesterday?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but failed to say anything. Huh. He was right about that. Reminded of it now, she had to admit, what she had wanted most was to be taken care of by Soshi. But, as she looked back at the roses, this was good enough. It had to be good enough. At least he knew he was wrong and apologized for it. The past was the past.

She grabbed the rose back from his hand. "Hands off."

"Give me my sandals back."

Sakura looked down at her feet absently, having decided to wear comfortable flats for the day. Because she accidentally forgot his shoes at home, she said, "I'll bring them back next week. But…I do appreciate what you did for me yesterday. That was surprisingly nice of you to take care of me like that, so."

"Oh Sakura. Don't you know I'm a man of many layers? That was only one side of me." He flashed her a cocky grin.

Sakura shook her head, laughing in disbelief. "You are unbelievable. I'll be sure to stop myself before complimenting you again. It really goes over your head, doesn't it?"

"It's not over-confidence; just a healthy dose of ego." The smile on her face sent warning bells ringing in his head. Why did she have to have such a damn cute face? Irritated that it was becoming more frequent that to have these thoughts pop out at him, he looked away immediately. "Leave me alone. I'm going to actually do work now."

Sakura returned her attention to the roses. How come all the excitement she'd felt just minutes ago was gone? Now that she studied the bouquet and the card Soshi wrote, she realized how shallow this was compared to what Syaoran had done for her. It was sweet of Soshi to buy the roses, she understood that, but... Syaoran was right. What she'd really wanted was for Soshi to notice her pain. He didn't have to make it go away; just show concern. She bit back a sigh at the disappointment hovering over her heart again at the remembrance.

_Geez Sakura. You're expecting too much. He's sorry and he bought you such pretty flowers. Get over it. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The heavy rain had finally taken a break. It had been raining loudly and endlessly all day, but now that it was time to get off work, Syaoran was grateful for the momentary pause. The clock on the wall reflected 7PM, which was the usual time he finished work. Working overtime was something he was used to and didn't bother him. There was nothing waiting for him at home anyhow. After turning off his computer and gathering the folders to one side of his desk, he walked towards the elevator.

When he scanned the floor nonchalantly, he caught sight of Sakura inside Soshi's office but no sign of Boss anywhere. He stopped and watched her for a moment. There was misery clear on her face. For some reason, it irked him to think about it.

Convinced that it was just mere curiosity, Syaoran walked to Soshi's office and knocked lightly.

The anticipation in Sakura's eyes immediately dimmed when she opened the door. She kept her hand on the knob. "What do you want?"

He peeked inside. True enough, Soshi wasn't there. "You still waiting for your boyfriend? It's past 7 you know."

"Thank you for that obvious statement." She pointed at the big clock positioned against the wall facing the door. Sakura turned back and sent him a look. "Why are _you_ still here?"

"I usually work this late." He could see the weariness in her eyes. "Matsumoto hasn't come back from a meeting yet or what?"

The warring feelings of embarrassment, anger, and fatigue fought inside her. Fatigue won. She sighed as she stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her. She had come in that day one hour early just to meet Soshi, who actually hadn't been available because of a sudden meeting. Then lunch time came and he had excused himself again, apologizing for the extra pile of work that came into his hands. He then promised to make it up to her that night with dinner at his favourite restaurant.

Her work ended at 5. Since lunch, she didn't receive one call or message from him about the plan after work or even about another sudden meeting that seemed to trap him upstairs for two hours already. Sakura was exhausted. Work had been hell, to say the least, having dealt with several uptight and rude people over the phone. To add to that, what she hated most in the world were broken promises. Soshi had promised her frequently over the span of two weeks that they were going to do this, do that, whatever. But none of it had actually ever happened.

Dammit, where was the Soshi she had admired? The Soshi she had been with in Yuigahama, who had showered her with sweetness and gentleness?

"He hasn't called," she admitted in defeat. "So I don't actually know if he's in a meeting right now." She then looked up at Syaoran, waiting for a sarcastic remark. When she didn't get any, she let out a sad moan. "I must look pretty pitiful right now."

"You do." Looking at her now, he felt like thoroughly beating up the man.

Sakura ran a hand through her hair and said helplessly, "I'm already so tired. Why doesn't he seem to realize how I feel?"

He watched her walk towards the couches by the elevator with her shoulders slumped. He'd seen her stressed out and pissed off before, but not defenceless. Thinking of a man being inconsiderate of his own girlfriend made him angry. To take someone you care for, for granted made no sense to him. Life was too frigging short for time to be wasted like tat.

Syaoran sat beside her on the maroon leather sofa then took out his blackberry. "You hear about the free package deals they're giving out to people on the streets? I heard they just go up to you and offer you two plane tickets to Hawaii and they pay for everything. I mean, hotel, resort, whatever you want, and that includes all the meals, the spa, everything. For three days. Isn't that crazy?"

Though she couldn't understand why Syaoran was still there, she was glad and relieved that she wasn't alone. She looked over at him with doubt. "What are you talking about?"

He shoved his blackberry at her face. "It's been on the news all week. They do a really big prank on you without you knowing it, then they offer you that deal. You haven't heard of it?"

"I haven't!" She grabbed the blackberry from him and read through the blurb of news quickly. How was this even possible! Suddenly, as though the rest of the world had shut up for a second, all her exhaustion and frustration vanished from her body. She jumped up. "Oh my God, this is so exciting! How, how do they find you? How do they pick?"

This was _exactly _what she needed to get away from work completely. She needed to relax. It was perfect – spend some time at the beach, maybe take a nice swim in the beach, sit on the sand and drink a nice cool drink at the beach. A Hawaiian beach. She blinked rapidly, finding the image too bright. This was _perfect!_

Syaoran, meanwhile, watched the transformation with amusement. One moment she looked like the saddest, most pitiful person on the planet and the next she was an overly cheerful and happy version of her normal self. Just as she began to wave her fists in the air, he stood and took the blackberry from her hand.

"Beats me. But…" He paused for dramatic effect. "I'm thinking of walking around aimlessly in Tokyo tonight. Maybe if I look stupid and innocent enough, they might pick me." He flashed a cheeky grin as he walked to the elevators.

"Wait! I want that deal too. I'm going with you. They might give both of us the package deals, right?"

Syaoran chuckled. "They might."

When the elevator bell dinged and the doors opened, Soshi stared back at them, a pleasant smile on his face. Syaoran's amusement fell. Sakura's smile faded at once. The reminder was sudden and piercing.

"Sakura, Syaoran." Soshi stepped out. "Have you been waiting long, Sakura?"

How was she supposed to react to that? Was he really that dumb? Attempting to keep her temper in check, she said instead, "Soshi. You had a meeting?"

"Yes. I'm sorry for the wait," he offered, reflecting sincerity in his eyes. "Let me just grab my things then we can go. Syaoran, you worked hard today. Would you like to join us for dinner?"

Sakura turned away, her anger and embarrassing resurfacing once more. Syaoran didn't have to see her expression to know it. He shook his head and said, "Sorry Boss. I have plans." With that, he walked into the elevator.

Sakura looked up just in time to catch the smile of support on Syaoran's face. Why did that one little expression ease her frustration? He'd stayed just a little bit more for her, made her forget her troubles, and in that short span of time, actually made her feel better.

How could he become so unexpectedly and ridiculously sweet at the times when she needed it the most? Syaoran then wagged the blackberry side to side, reminding her of what they'd talked about earlier. She smiled in gratitude and brought her hand up to wave goodbye.

Soshi then grabbed hold of her arm. She looked back at him, zeroing in on the remorseful expression on his face. This was strike two, wasn't it? Instead of fighting it, she let it go. She was worn out. "I'll wait here." Realizing he'd upset her, Soshi squeezed her arm affectionately just before he walked back to his office.

When Sakura watched him walk away, the familiar disappointment waved over her. It made no sense why someone as supposedly charming as Soshi was, could be so disillusioning, while someone as cynical as Syaoran was, could be so caring. Soshi had already cancelled on several promised dates, and with that, her mind began entertaining the thought that Soshi really wasn't the prince charming she'd expected all along.

As she turned back towards the elevator, Sakura, for the first time, wished she was with Syaoran instead.

...

During dinner, Sakura looked outside the window and noticed the rain starting up again. She bit back a sigh as she finished the last piece of her steak. Soshi was pleasantly talking across from her, telling her his usual stories of work and other aspects of his life. In the beginning, she had been so caught up with it, full of curiosity for this man. It was funny how, as time went on, she realized he never really asked her anything about herself. Every conversation always seemed to end up about him.

She bit back a derisive laugh. Why was she becoming so pessimistic about him already? _How can you think about giving up on him like this? _She tried to shake off the thought. This was her prince; hadn't she thought that for the longest time?

"Sakura?" Soshi finally noticed her lack of response after going off on a monologue for five minutes. He took her hand in his. "Are you still angry?"

"Hmm?" She looked back at him and absently smiled. "No, I'm not. You apologized, so I forgave you." But she wondered if she even believed his sincerity anymore. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

"Yes, it has." Soshi drank his wine, then leaned forward and pushed back a stray hair from Sakura's face. "Again, I must apologize for the wait. The way work is going right now... I can't exactly leave the meeting early, as much as I'd like to. An executive chief oversees many things, after all."

"It's not that, Soshi," she began, finding her frustration bubbling up. "I know you're busy. You're my boss, for goodness' sake." Her temper was a flaw she fully knew of herself, but usually, unless it was Syaoran pushing her at her limit, she was good at keeping it in. Now she fought for control as she tugged her hand away from his. "It's just…don't make promises you can't keep. Okay? That's all."

After a moment of silence, Soshi merely nodded and leaned back against his chair. The blank expression on his face told Sakura she'd just embarrassed her boss, not her boyfriend. More bothered now for the lack of understanding on his part, Sakura just looked away and bit back angry tears.

What happened to the perfect man she thought she knew for three long years? Why was Soshi so completely different from what she'd imagined him to be? Couldn't he have at least been a bit kinder or caring, rather than just putting on a show with those roses and those sweet words in public?

Being his girlfriend now, it was a hard fact to face that Soshi Matsumoto wasn't in any way, shape, or form, prince charming. At least, not the man behind those looks.

Then he took her hands and pressed a light kiss on the inside of her palm. And it was funny how these things he did never seemed to make her heart palpitate in excitement. It had always seemed forced on her part, even in the beginning.

"Forgive me, Sakura. It was my fault entirely. I won't make promises I can't keep."

Because his eyes were full of remorse, she could only sigh, feeling herself waver. Three years had meant so much to her. He had become a fantasy in her mind, and that fantasy just didn't match with reality, and it was painful to accept that. But…his eyes. She cursed herself for having a heart that was just too infuriatingly soft.

"I know," she murmured. "It's partly my fault anyway." Because she expected too much. "Let's…do better next time." One more chance.

::::::::

Sakura grabbed several cans of sausage and fish from the shelves. Her monthly supply of groceries was seriously lacking and she had decided earlier that day that it was a good time to go grocery hunting. She only ever did it twice a month and when she did, it often ended up becoming a massive shopping spree.

At first the thought of inviting Soshi had come up, but despite a month of dating, there were too many ups and downs in their relatively fragile relationship that said they weren't at that stage yet. She wondered if she would ever get there with him. The last few weeks had been decent; Soshi did, after all, stop making promises he couldn't keep. At work, there was no display of affection, as he was still her boss first and foremost. It didn't help that after hours were often spent in the meeting room with other executives. She hadn't realized how difficult it was to be the girlfriend of a highly ranked member of the company. Really, their month of dating didn't feel special; half the time she felt he wasn't even a boyfriend because he just wasn't around.

So now, instead of going on her own, she had asked Tomoyo to go with her. At that particular moment, Tomoyo had gone to find a book and left Sakura alone to finish up her groceries.

Walking aimlessly and her mind distracted, Sakura turned a corner in one of the aisles and accidentally hit another cart that jolted both her and the cart in front of her. The bags of vegetables and fruits from the other cart fell on the ground.

"I'm so sorry!" She quickly apologized, falling on her knees and grabbing them. "It was completely my fault, I'm really sorry!"

"No kidding." The familiar sarcastic voice made her stop. She slowly looked up, a bag of oranges in her hand, and met the annoyed stare from none other Syaoran. "Wow. You're just as inept out in public, aren't you?" He shook his head in disapproval as he picked up the bag of bell peppers.

Sakura heaved a loud, deep breath. She gathered herself and stood up, wiping at the front of her jeans. "Oh well, it's just you then. I'm not sorry. I take it back."

Just as soon as he managed to grab all the items that had fallen on the floor, he turned back to her. "I can't believe how different you are around Matsumoto. What's that about?"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him snootily. "What do you mean?"

"You act all innocent, feminine, and must I say, _understanding_, around him, when you're really not. Around me, you're excessively loud, impatient, and whiny."

"Okay, I am _not_ loud or whiny, and I do so have patience. You're just an exception; a little prick at my side that just needs to be crushed out."

"That is so funny. I don't think I've ever heard you say anything as funny before." When she continued to glare at him, he chuckled then thumped the top of her head with ease. "You should be sorrier. You contaminated my food when you spilled them all over."

"Why?" She retorted. "They didn't fall out of the plastic bags." Sakura then circled over to his cart and examined it. Loads of vegetables and fruits, from mangoes to tomatoes to even broccoli filled the cart. "You are such a nutrition freak." It was interesting, though not completely surprising. She did notice his athletic build, much to her own self-denial. She then caught sight of two big boxes of cereal. "Fat-free, no sugar, incredibly low in calories. What kind of cereal is this?"

"The healthy kind." He grabbed the cereal box from her hand and studied it himself. "Look at all the nutrients and vitamins it gives." He let her take a look, then snatched it back quickly. "I didn't realize you're a spokesperson for all foods unhealthy and fattening, though." He pointed to her own cart full of chips, canned goods, instant noodles, and other cold, pre-packaged meals.

She followed his gaze, knowing full well how unhealthily she ate. For the life of her, she could not cook. She'd tried half-heartedly before, but never could get the taste and flavouring right. Sakura's father was the best chef in town, but she hadn't inherited his passion for cooking.

"Okay, so I don't know how to cook," she admitted defensively. She caught the derisive look he sent her. "What? Don't tell me _you_ know how."

"Hey, I cook delicious food." He said with confidence.

Stunned, she could only ask, "What kind of food?"

"Japanese, Chinese, some Italian." He grinned when he caught the look of astonishment in her eyes. "You haven't fallen for me now, have you?"

At that, she stopped for a quick moment, and then began to laugh scornfully, half out of spite and half out of mortification. "A man can dream." She returned to her cart. "You might be able to cook, but that's not all a woman looks for in a man."

"Sakura! I found it," Tomoyo called, running over to her. As she reached Sakura, she was pleasantly surprised to find Syaoran. "You."

"Tomoyo Daidouji, right?" He reached over to shake her hand. "So you're Sakura's date for the day. It's been a while since I've seen Sakura alone, after all. If it's not our boss, then it must be someone else."

Sakura made a sound under her breath.

"Yes, well, I heard they're having problems—"

"Tomoyo, let's go," Sakura interrupted, hookingher arm through her friend's and forcefully pulling her along. "I'm done. Let's go pay!"

"Wait. I haven't seen Tomoyo in a while. Why won't you let us catch up? We're friends too," Syaoran interrupted, blocking Sakura's path with his cart. He smiled again at Tomoyo. "Why have you been you hiding her anyway? Afraid we'd fall in love with each other and run away from you?"

Finding this exchange between Sakura and Syaoran too adorable for words, she could only laugh. "That would be one crazy adventure," Tomoyo agreed. "Don't get worked up, best friend. He didn't mean it."

Instead, Syaoran patted Sakura's head again, this time more lightly. "It's okay, Tomoyo. She knows I do. I'll leave first." He grabbed the handles on his cart and sent Sakura a reprimanding look. "Do me a favour and grab at least one fruit?" Then he nodded at Tomoyo and made his exit.

Sakura repeatedly waved her closed fists in annoyance. "Why does he have to torment me like this? Is it really that funny to see me mad?"

Tomoyo nodded, seeing the frustration in Sakura's face and wanting to pinch her cheeks for it. "Yes! Because you're so cute!" She gushed and gave her a brief hug. "You get so worked up over the littlest things, Sakura. It's not hard to tease you at all." She then took over the cart and began pushing it towards the counter. "So anyway. I found the book."

Sakura turned back slightly and saw the back of Syaoran's head. He really was tall, she mused. She knew she was entirely too sensitive, but Syaoran was always being so annoying, so it wasn't totally her fault for overreacting. It had become an everyday routine, their constant bickering, that she couldn't not get angry with him. Otherwise…it just wouldn't be as fun.

Only hearing Tomoyo's words now, Sakura looked over at her. "What book?"

"_The_ book, remember? Eriol was making such a big deal about it, promising to buy it for me. I'm getting it just so he won't get that chance. That man thinks he can charm his way back into my life. I'm not going to let it happen." Tomoyo parked the cart in one of the lanes.

"Eriol came back a week ago, right?" Sakura began unloading the cart, placing the groceries onto the counter.

"Yeah, but he hasn't stopped bugging me since. It's either a phone call or a text message or an email or whatever. I told him to stop it, but he just won't. He won't give up until I give him a chance to explain himself, so he says. We'll see how long he can last."

"Don't punish him for too long, Tomoyo. The guy's still in love with you. It won't hurt to give him a chance, will it?"

"I don't know. I'm already worrying about when he'll come for a personal visit. I'm really afraid of my reaction when I see him face to face. It's been…three and a half years since I actually looked at a picture of him. I completely cut him out of my life, you know?" She sighed as they waited for the cashier to finish up the customer in front of them. "So you and Soshi haven't gone on an actual date for what, over a week and a half now?"

Sakura could only shrug. "I don't know. He's always busy. At the same time, I feel like I'm just waiting for him to disappoint me again. I don't get it." She let out a sad laugh. "I mean, he was supposed to be the perfect man. I feel like I spent three years looking at someone who's totally, completely opposite of the Soshi I'd made up in my head." When the cashier began scanning their items, Sakura began to load the groceries in the bags.

"I hate to say I told you so. You were being way too naïve about it, Sakura. There is no such thing as a perfect gentleman. Soshi might've looked great on the outside, but…"

"I know, I know." Sakura's phone rang, interrupting their conversation. She opened it quickly and saw Soshi's name on the screen. "Hello?"

"Sakura, are you busy?"

Sakura met Tomoyo's questioning look. "Um, yes, well. I was grocery shopping with a friend, but we're finishing up now. Did you want to meet?"

"Yes I did. Since you're almost done, how about we go out for lunch? I haven't taken you out properly for some time."

Sakura covered a part of her phone as she looked back at Tomoyo. "Can I go for lunch with Soshi? He said he wants to take me out."

Tomoyo nodded in agreement. "Go ahead!"

"Where did you want to meet?" Sakura asked while paying for the groceries.

"Why don't you go home first and I'll pick you up there. There's a great restaurant I've wanted to try out. Put on something classy, ok?"

Knowing how much effort it was to look sophisticated and classy, a persona that she truly wasn't in any way, Sakura could only bite back the slight displeasure. Instead, she replied, "Sure. I'll see you soon."

"Great. I'll be there in an hour. It'll be wonderful, I promise."

She winced. He'd told her he wouldn't make promises he couldn't keep anymore and she'd started believing him again. He had been so careful and never said the word all three weeks after their conversation about it. Realizing she was becoming too disillusioned by him, Sakura purposely ignored those feelings. It was going to be a wonderful date, she repeated to herself.

...

Two and a half hours past noon, Sakura looked herself over for the fiftieth time on her full-length mirror. When he called about the date at 11:30, he said he would be there in an hour. So what was this? And he didn't even call to let her know what was going on.

What irritated her most was that she had actually hurried home. She took a shower, straightened her hair, put on makeup, spent a lot of time putting clothes on and taking them off, and basically working hard to find a good outfit that he would find classy enough.

When she sat back down on her couch, she didn't really know what she felt. It was a mixture of emotions; anger was there for sure, and disappointment. In the midst of it, she felt a sense of worthlessness settle in. She couldn't have been more disenchanted by it all. All her expectations, he hadn't met them. Every upsetting moment made her feel like she truly did have markedly high expectations in a man.

Deciding to finally give up, she got up to change back into her comfort sweats. Just then, the knock on the door came. Having lost all anticipation for this date, she languidly walked to the door and opened it.

As though he wasn't late, he caught her in a tight hug then revealed a huge bouquet of white tulips. "You look amazing, darling. I went to buy these just before coming here. I meant to arrive as soon as I could, but who would have guessed how dreadful traffic would be today?"

"It's Saturday," she said incredulously. Weekends hardly called for traffic on the road. "What are you talking about?"

Soshi's brows rose in surprise at her tone. "I came from Chiba and I…guess there was a big accident on the main highway. I was in my car for a while. Aren't you going to take them?" He asked, referring to the flowers she hadn't accepted.

Sakura didn't even force a smile as she grabbed the bouquet and walked to the kitchen. Why was nothing his fault? Whether or not he apologized, it never seemed to be his fault. He was always the victim. Goddammit. Why was the cellphone invented anyway? One good reason, she was sure, would be to call whoever was waiting for you to let them know where you were.

She took her time preparing the vase and cutting the stems to place the flowers in it. The tulips were great. They were lovely, like every other friggin' flower out there. But why, she thought with exasperation, would he bother stopping somewhere to buy her flowers when he was already late in the first place? She would have preferred that he come as fast as he could.

When she went back to the living room, he was studying her walls. Sakura loved the water. There were three enlarged picture frames hanging on her living room walls; one was a picture of a waterfall, another of a peaceful-looking beach, and the last of a distant green island surrounded by an ocean.

"You seem to have a fascination for water," he commented, looking back at her with a quizzical smile. "It's a unique trait."

Surprised to still find some patience, she nodded. "Yes, I feel at peace when I look at them."

"That's lovely." He then turned to her. "I must say, though, the pictures don't quite match the color scheme of your walls or your furniture." Why did the words sound so disapproving? Sakura frowned as he continued, "If you prefer trivial things like these pictures, you should have picked a lighter color for your wall. The contrast is hard on the eyes, I have to admit." Soshi then turned back to her with that smile she used to find so incredibly charming. All she wanted to do now was to wipe that smile off his face.

How dare he judge and belittle what she liked? _Trivial_ things? He knew nothing about her.

As Sakura stared at him speechlessly, she felt completely fooled. He wasn't any kind of prince charming at all. He wasn't even worth calling a decent man. He was a self-absorbed, self-righteous man who cared about one thing – himself. How ironic that she fell for it all too easily. Why didn't she see it? There was nothing beyond the physical appearance whatsoever.

Finding the right words this time around, Sakura faced him. "Soshi. I think it's time this ended."

Soshi's eyes widened for a moment, then quickly sharpened. "Excuse me?"

"I was wrong about you. I…don't want to change who you are just so you could be the person I was expecting you to be." She ran a hand through her hair in distress. She could feel her knees weakening. She hated hurting people's feelings, but all the hurt she'd taken was already at its limit. She couldn't take anymore. "I…I just don't want to do this anymore."

"I see. Is there something I did again? Because if you're basing this decision in the past, that's not very reasonable or fair. You said you'd forgiven me. Denying your own words is quite the hypocrisy, Sakura."

The fact that he couldn't see his faults almost made her laugh. Instead, she shook her head. "No, it's not that. It's all me. Don't think any more of it."

Soshi nodded several times, trying to understand the situation, but remained baffled. Humiliated, he walked to the door then stopped and looked back at her. "I'll see you at work, Ms. Kinomoto." The coldness in his voice and the indifference in his eyes were unquestionable. She had never seen him in that way before.

They stared at each other endlessly. She refused to cower from his gaze, though her anxiety was through the roof. She'd held in her breath, partly in fear of losing her job and partly because she wanted to remain strong.

She let it go when the door closed shut. Sakura immediately felt tears pooling in her eyes. Beyond the disappointment and anger, there was a lot of misery that filled her heart, and hopelessness. Was there really no one for her? No prince charming? Was she that hard to love? All the doubts began to pile up, one by one.

And just then, Sakura gave in to it and let the tears go. Her body curled on the corner of the couch, her knees against her chest. The crying bout lasted for a good hour.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Sakura marched into the office as though lifeless. Her face was sullen, her eyes blank. No words came out of her mouth, when usually she was the first to greet every co-worker she passed on the way to her cubicle. Syaoran, who had been watching this rare entrance, continued watching even as she dropped on her seat and sulked in front of her computer.

Casually he walked over and kicked the bottom of her chair to get her attention. "You look like a beaten-up dog left on the curb, waiting for someone to beat it up again."

No response.

Syaoran inched closer to get a better look of her face, but she pushed herself further into the cubicle and hid her face behind her hair. Curiosity poking at him, he decided to go another direction. "So I actually got some tickets to Hawaii..."

Still no response. He frowned. Refusing to believe that it was more than concern that he felt, he grabbed her shoulder. She shoved his hand away before he could even blink. Syaoran moved back in disbelief when he caught the traces of tears in her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened?" He'd never ever seen her cry before. And he hated tears more than anything. The first thing that came into his mind was someone had gotten hurt. "Is your family all right? Tomoyo?"

At that, Sakura's bottom lip began to tremble. Why would that be the first thing he asked? Wasn't it obvious from her face? When she stared at herself in the mirror, all she saw was heartbreak written all over it. "You're so weird!" She cried, covering her face with her hands. "Why would you ask that first?"

Syaoran shoved his hands in his pockets, suddenly realizing his mistake. It had to be something related to Soshi. Of course. How stupid could he be to miss that completely? It was just that the last time he'd seen someone look that devastated was when Yuki had died. He shut his eyes momentarily, pushing the thought away, then looked back at Sakura. "What did Boss do now?"

Sakura grabbed the handkerchief he pushed against her hand and violently wiped away her tears. She would stop crying over him. She had to. There was just no point in it. As she sniffled, she admitted to herself that it really wasn't Soshi she was crying about anymore. Over the last two days, she felt all her self-worth vanish. There was a dreadful sense of hopelessness hovering inside her and it fuelled the tears.

When she dried her eyes and finally looked up, her eyes met his. Her heart jerked in response, and afraid of what that was, she looked away and fisted the handkerchief in her hand.

"He really took me for granted. And I was really stupid to believe in…" She couldn't even finish the thought. "I just…I might end up drowning in my sorrows again before this day is over. Can you keep my mind off it somehow?"

Immediately he thought of a way. "If I catch you bawling your eyes out or even let one teardrop fall, you have to sing a song. A really, really embarrassing song right there." He pointed to the middle area of their floor, where many people often crossed paths. "And you have to sing it loudly, with passion. I get to pick the song."

Losing track of her pessimistic thoughts, Sakura blew her nose, then said, "No."

"What do you mean 'no'? You just asked me to get your mind off it. Let's make it a deal. If you go all day, that's eight hours, without crying, I'll owe you."

She paused for a moment and mulled it over. "You were joking about those tickets to Hawaii, right?"

Syaoran blinked at the sudden question and then began to laugh. "Sadly, yes. Look, I'll buy you _whatever _you want. How's that?"

For some reason, she felt her spirits brighten up a little. It made her realize just how badly she needed someone to understand and take care of her right at that moment. Why Syaoran ended up being the one to do so, she couldn't comprehend and frankly had no energy to try. "Okay." With hesitation, she then continued by murmuring, "Thanks, Syaoran."

Still unnerved by the way she looked right now, he turned away and went back to his desk without saying another word.

...

The day ended and Sakura was glad to say that she shed no single tear since that morning outburst. Oh she might've felt rotten emotions tumbling to the surface when Soshi would walk past her. But like Syaoran said, she kept the deal in mind, and the last thing she needed was self-inflicted humiliation.

It was just sad how different Soshi was. She had seen a side of him no one in the office knew about. As much as it hurt, she was glad for it; she would no longer be duped by that perfect image he liked showing to everyone. Of course, she understood the need to maintain some kind of persona in front of others. She had her own pride too. But there was such a thing as taking it too far to the point of projecting someone completely separate from your own true identity, and he certainly had done it in front of her.

Sakura stood and stretched her back. Reminded of Syaoran, she glanced over and noted that his chair was empty despite the disorganized pile of papers and folders on his desk. She then scanned the office and saw him hanging out at the kitchen.

After packing up all her things, she walked to the kitchen with her purse in tow. Syaoran was looking out the window while drinking a bottle of cold water. Watching him now, she felt that uncomfortable tug in her heart. The look in his eyes seemed to reflect sadness, for some odd reason.

"I didn't cry."

At that, he turned. It was funny how fast his facial expression could change so quickly. Syaoran grinned. "I guess I owe you then."

Sakura automatically held the handkerchief in her pocket and held onto it tightly. "I really needed that today." She sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter. From the kitchen window, she could see that the sun was still shining even though it was already evening. "I asked myself over and over again, why don't some relationships work? I thought…if you wanted something badly enough, it would come to you."

It was a rare moment, the two of them sharing a thoughtful conversation.

"Sometimes it's out of your control." He turned back to the window again. Yuki had been a special woman in his life and no matter how much he loved her, she didn't return the feelings. He couldn't do anything about that, could he?

"I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm probably just really depressed right now," she began with a sad smile. "I've never fallen in love. I thought I was, with Soshi. Then he turned out to be someone completely different. A lot of it is my fault. I really made him out to be some kind of fairy-tale prince in my head."

Syaoran didn't have to look at her to discern how she was feeling.

Feeling an urge to comfort her, he offered some kind words. "You'll meet somebody again, as loud as you are. I mean, I guess you have some other qualities to offset that mouth." He said with a smile. "But here's an advice. Lower your expectations. Otherwise, you really won't find anybody out there. There's no prince charming in this world, I can tell you that."

Why did Syaoran keep surprising her like this? The last person she had expected to give her the comfort she needed was him, and yet here he was, returning the hope that she felt like she'd lost. Syaoran had a caring side that she was fortunate enough to see. All this time, she must have been taking his jokes too seriously after all.

"Have you fallen in love?"

At the question, Syaoran met her gaze. Then he slowly nodded.

An odd feeling passed through her. "You broke up?"

"No, we never ended up together. It was one-sided."

For some reason, she imagined he would've fought for a girl he really loved. She then stood up and buried his handkerchief back into her pocket. She didn't want to give it back; not yet. She felt like she saw that other side of him again; not the Syaoran who taunted and teased incessantly, but rather, the one who'd taken care of her blisters and cheered her up when she was down. He'd comforted her more than he knew, and it wasn't just from the encouraging words or the available ear.

Baffled by the sudden pounding in her chest, Sakura stood. "I'm going home."

"See you tomorrow."

She smiled briefly before walking out of the kitchen. When he was left alone, Syaoran took another gulp of his cold water. He refused to accept the fact that this woman was starting to stir something in him he'd been fighting like hell to protect.

But as he watched her walk to the elevator, he was worried something had changed in their relationship that day.

::::::::

Exhausted, Syaoran sat on an empty bench by the park. It was yet another sunny morning and he had decided to take advantage and run three miles before going to work. Summer was probably his favourite season, so it was a little disappointing to see time go by fast. It was already mid-July.

As he watched people and dogs pass him by, he began to wonder what Sakura was doing right now. Probably sleeping, he mused. She'd had an awful week, he knew. From the lack of communication between her and Soshi and the hard projects that suddenly just started piling up on her desk, he figured there was a sense of bitterness between them and probably the need for revenge, for Soshi at least.

Syaoran caught himself. Why was he even thinking about that? It wasn't his problem. She wasn't his problem. He'd never thought of her outside of work before. He wasn't interested in Sakura that way. Yeah, it was just natural concern over how depressed she'd looked the past week. That's all. Suddenly annoyed, he got up and began to run.

Maybe it was time to start dating again. He'd taken a six-month-long hiatus from the dating scene, so he was just missing a warm woman's company. That was all it was, he repeated to himself. Just because Sakura seemed to be on his mind more often than before didn't mean anything at all. It was perfectly normal if you thought about it, considering how he worked and interacted with her every damn day.

_Give me a break_. _She's not my type anyway. _

:::::::::

Friday mornings were a pain. It was the end of the week and people still had to wake up early and work like a slave for 8 hours. It wasn't a surprise that on the last day of the week, every worker was more agitated and less able to focus on what needed to be done. Sakura was no exception. In fact, she was quite the example of what a lacklustre worker would be on a Friday. After two weeks of hell, she just wanted two days to clear her mind and start afresh.

When she got into the office building, Sakura mentally counted the number of deadlines she had to meet by the day's end. Even before stepping foot into her floor, she could feel her stress level rise. While in the midst of deciding what project to tackle first, something caught her eye. Syaoran was laughing with a female co-worker Sakura recognized to be Julia Yamamoto. She was one of the newer employees working a floor above theirs.

She didn't know why it irked her, watching Julia lean nonchalantly against the divider between her and Syaoran's desk. Sakura pursed her lips and decided to act civil, even though the sight of the two of them flirting so transparently in public brought a slight feeling of antipathy in her heart.

"Good morning."

Syaoran and Julia turned. "Good morning, Sakura! Oh, is this your desk? Sorry," Julia laughed in apology as she grabbed the coffee cup she'd placed on Sakura's desk.

After a pause, Sakura looked up and sent her a small, vague smile. "That's fine."

Syaoran watched her carefully. She was lying and she was annoyed. He'd been her seatmate for far too long not to be aware of that. Wondering what it was bothering her this time, he asked out of concern, "How are you feeling?"

"Like a million bucks." The reply was short. Sakura felt like hitting her head against the wall. Why was she so bad at faking her emotions? Even with Soshi, she couldn't even keep up that feminine, innocent image for one day. Her attempt at civility was failing right now and she knew that Syaoran knew it.

Syaoran studied her expressionless face for another moment, then turned to face Julia. "So I'll pick you up at 8 then."

Unaware of the underlying tension between Syaoran and Sakura, Julia beamed, all too excited for the date. "Yes, definitely! See you later, Sakura."

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" He said just as Julia disappeared from their sight. His thumbs hooked in his pockets, Syaoran leaned against her cubicle wall.

She spared him a glance while turning on her computer. "It's Friday and Soshi gave me, oh just about more than I can handle for today." She bent down and grabbed a highlighter and paperclips from the bottom drawer of her desk. As she remained quiet, Syaoran stayed in his spot. Still annoyed, the words came out of her before she could filter them. "Since when did you start liking Julia anyway?"

A brow rose. "That's not really any of your business, is it?"

"I know that. But it's so unfair! You're just throwing it in my face, aren't you? You just want to prove that you are better at relationships than I am."

He stared to the point of almost glaring. "Since when did I need to prove anything to you?" What crawled up her ass? For her to accuse him of doing something so spiteful was insulting. He actually tried to be a friend this whole time.

She caught his narrowed gaze, expectantly waiting for an explanation, and felt the guilt slap her in the face. Why was she in such a bad mood? Sakura cowered from his gaze, gave off a small sigh, then hung her head. "Sorry. I…I'm just stressed and...okay…I guess I just…got jealous."

The look Syaoran sent her made Sakura jump up in defense. "Not jealous of her; of you," she clarified quickly, shaking her hands in front of her. No, she refused to believe that she was jealous of Julia. "The whole thing with Soshi really made me feel so hopeless, you know? Like I'll never find anyone out there again! And today, I see the two of you starting up something and I can't help but…" She pouted, depressed again.

At the sight of that child-like expression, Syaoran grew amused. "It's just a date, you know." He said as the corners of his mouth tilted up. "Not a marriage."

Sakura scowled. "Don't mock me."

"Hey, you're the one making this out to be some kind of epic love story." When she wasn't looking any better, he added, "I was just looking for some company tonight. Figured Julia would be up for it, since she's been obvious and clingy."

Sakura felt worse. Despite those mean words she'd said to him, Syaoran always seemed to wave them off and forgive her. "Sorry Syaoran." She repeated once more, offering an apologetic smile. "That was really low of me to say. You've been nothing but a friend."

Syaoran stared at her face blankly then looked away. He'd seen all kinds of smiles from her, but recently, they were affecting him differently. Stop it, his mind interjected. This is exactly why he needed to go on a date with another woman. Thinking of Sakura in that way, in the way that a man thought of a woman, was just wrong.

"Have fun tonight," she offered as he walked back to his desk.

He nodded absently. "Go out with Tomoyo tonight or something."

"I don't know. I actually like staying at home on Friday nights," She admitted with a quick laugh. It sounded so pathetic, but it really was the truth. But funny how, despite how often Syaoran made fun of her, she didn't think he would ridicule her for being that way.

And just as she thought, he said nothing and merely watched her, smiling ever so slightly.

…

At the end of the day, Sakura got out of her chair, stretched her back and arms for a moment, then hung her bag over her shoulder. Just as she turned to head to the restroom, her glance dropped to Syaoran's desk, which was shockingly clean. Usually papers and binders were piled up and scattered all over it. Syaoran was turning off his computer just as her jaw slightly dropped.

"What are you doing?"

Absently he looked up. "Huh?"

"You…you don't normally go home at this time. Did you actually finish all your work on time for a change?" She sent a sarcastic smile.

He stood up, sent her a dry look. "Well I owe you don't I? You're ready to go?"

Confused, she could only nod at the last question. With uncertainty, she replied, "I worked…all eight hours already…so yes, I'm ready to go home." When he remained expressionless, she scowled. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

He then broke into a careless grin. "You forgot? Never mind then." He laughed as he walked away towards the elevators.

Flustered, she hurried to catch up. "Wait, wait. _Owe_ as in from before, when I didn't cry all day?" When he didn't reply, she ran and stopped in front of him, waving her hands. "I remember, I remember!" She insisted.

Thoroughly amused, he continued to smile. "Let's go then."

"You're trying to act mysterious right now, but it's only coming off as annoying. Where are we going?"

"The mall. There must be something you want from there." They entered the elevator. "Besides, I wanted to get Julia some flowers. I might as well stick to my word and get you something. You won it fairly after all."

Oh, why did Syaoran have to tell her that? It was a statement she could do well without; going off to buy a woman flowers. As romantic as it had been when Soshi sent her flowers, remembering all the sweet things he'd done for now left nothing but a bitter taste in her mouth. He hadn't been sincere about any of it, and flowers meant nothing if the man gave them without sincerity.

As soon as they reached the lobby, Sakura crossed her arms while walking, uncomfortable. "I need to pee."

Syaoran stared blandly, wondering why the hell he needed to know that. "And what does that have to do with me?"

"You're practically kidnapping me right now and I didn't get to go to the restroom like I originally meant to," she retorted, frowning as they walked in the parking lot outside the building.

He walked towards his car sitting at the very end of the parking lot. "It's not kidnap if you willingly come," he countered. "Besides, it's your fault. You should've told me you needed to go. How would I have known that?"

Sakura let out a groan, wondering where his car was.

…

At the mall, Sakura breathed in the familiar scent of the shopping scene and enjoyed the cool breeze of the air conditioning. She loved shopping as much as a person with ten credit cards did, but finding enough strength after punching in forty-hours a week to go to the mall was becoming more difficult to do. Nevertheless, it still felt refreshing to come here after work, especially after sitting for almost eight hours straight in a small-spaced office.

Syaoran nudged her from behind. "Stop gawking. People will figure out you're a lunatic."

"I wasn't gawking. And I'm not a lunatic!" She muttered, following him as he turned to his left. "Where's the washroom? I _really_ need to go, Syaoran."

"Complaining is actually your favourite thing to do, right? You're so good at it." When she continued glaring, he shrugged. "I'm only telling the truth. Washroom's right there. I'll be at the flower shop, over there." He pointed the locations so quickly that she could only hope to have caught the directions.

When Sakura stared at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn't help the way her mind drifted back again. What was it about her that just seemed to repel men? Was Syaoran right? That she really was just loud and whiny. Feeling her mood dampen, she patted her cheeks. _Get yourself together, Sakura,_ she reminded herself. She had spent a good two weeks drowning in her unhappiness and that was enough.

Syaoran was standing at the front of the flower shop, holding a spray of yellow daisies. They were so pretty, she thought, feeling her heart strings tug at the sight of him. She probably would have melted if he was a stranger. He just looked like a man who knew a thing or two about romance.

As she neared, he glowered. "You took so long. You must've been doing number 2 in there, weren't you?" Subtly he looked her over. No matter how much he denied it, he had to face the fact that he found her pretty as hell.

"I did not! I went to pee, like I told you. There was just a lot of women." Her gaze landed again on the daisies. She couldn't help it. Her romantic heart was fluttering at the prospect.

He saw the longing gaze then pulled away the flowers as far as he could. "These aren't for you."

"Of course I know that!" She snapped. "But why daisies? For me, they kind of give off the vibe, like…friendly and happy? Not so much romance."

"Yeah, that's what I'm going for." He glanced down at them and shrugged. "Women fall all over this kind of thing. You do, that's for sure. Julia will like them, hopefully."

"She will," Sakura assured. "But just so you know, if you wanted to go for romance…" She trailed off, imagining her favourite flowers. "I love pink and white lilies. Those would be perfect for me," she sighed dreamily as they stepped onto an escalator.

"Anyway," Syaoran interrupted loudly, pulling her out of her daydream. "What do you want? I'm willing to buy anything, so long as it's reasonably priced." He sent her a direct look. "I mean it."

She nodded absently, waving him off. She already had some idea of what to ask for, but it wasn't exactly for her. Sakura scanned the mall, her eyes darting from store to store, occasionally to separate boutiques at the center of the hallways.

"Since this is the very first item you'll be buying me," she began, beaming at Syaoran.

"First and last," he corrected. "So, decide yet?"

"I want something from there." She pointed to a jewellery store a few metres away from them.

Submitting to her demand, Syaoran followed and studied the wide collection of watches, rings, and bracelets they had on display. The prices looked pretty hefty, he thought with a grimace. Sakura really did know how to rub it in. Jewellery wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind, having expected her to go for a bag or a pair of shoes or something trivial. But if she wanted jewellery, he mused, he'd give them to her anyway. One thing Syaoran stood by the most was protecting and fulfilling his promises. This was a big reason why he hardly ever gave out promises to anyone.

With her peripheral vision, Sakura followed Syaoran's movement around the store. He glimpsed at each collection of jewellery _very_ briefly. She bit back a wince as he finished touring the rather large store in a matter of seconds. So he wasn't materialistic. But the part of Sakura that was an avid shopper hurt a little at the fact that he didn't even acknowledge the beauty of each product or the effort put into making it.

Realizing she was probably not going to get anything out of him, Sakura decided to take matters into her hands. "Hey, what kind of watch do you like?" She asked suddenly, standing so close to him their bodies touched.

Jolted, he glanced over at her, then looked down at the current set of watches he was looking at. "You're in my personal space."

"Answer the question," she insisted, moving just a fraction away.

Sakura was extremely stubborn and he knew that well. Giving up, he pointed to a silver and black watch inside the glass case. It was simple, but classy. "That's kind of my style," he said inattentively. "So you find something?"

"Mm…" She looked up to signal the salesclerk. "Can I see that watch?"

Syaoran turned at that, stared in surprise. "What are you doing?"

Ignoring him, she clasped her hands together and watched as the salesclerk took the watch from the inside of the panel. Finally, when the watch was set in front of them, Sakura met his confused gaze.

"Wear it," she instructed, taking the watch from the woman.

"What?" Syaoran stepped back. "Why?"

"Just because." Sakura grabbed his arm forcefully and placed the watch on his wrist. She moved his arm around in different angles. "It looks good on you," she commented. And the next thing he knew, she was holding out the watch to the salesclerk. "I'll get this."

"Okay, what? Wait a second." He forcefully pulled her hands away from the clerk. "What the hell are you doing? Oh don't tell me, is this for some guy? Shit. Are you getting this for Soshi?" No way would he spend his money on that bastard.

Sakura merely sighed, as though dealing with a child. "That money you're going to spend for me is basically mine, right?" Syaoran continued to stare at her evenly. "Well, I want this. Don't question it. Just buy it. I promise, it's not for Soshi," she assured, passing the watch to the salesperson. "Buy it." She repeated to Syaoran.

He didn't know what was going through her head. Usually he could figure it out, but this time around, he had no clue what she exactly planned to do with a man's watch. Staring at her as if she was crazy, he said, "Fine, but if for some reason you realize that this is _not_ a woman's watch, especially because it fits _me_, that's not my fault." He paused, then reiterated carefully, "This is what you want me to buy for you."

"I'm not an idiot, Syaoran. Yes, that is what _I_ want _you_ to buy for _me_." She repeated his words, putting as much emphasis on each word as possible.

He gave up and grabbed his wallet. "If you say so."

...

When they walked back to the car, Sakura held the small bag in her hand. It was entertaining to see Syaoran so confused. Usually he projected this confident and unbeatable persona that she always wanted to break down. She mentally did a victory dance at the thought that she'd cracked at it a little bit today. After sitting down on the passenger seat, she took the box out of the bag and opened it. She studied the watch again, finding it very suitable for him.

"You know, I'm not even going to bother," he said when he glanced over at it. "I thought you'd go for shoes or a bag or something, but…you're weirder than even I thought you'd be and that's saying something."

"Normally I would have, but…"

There was something about spending someone else's money that didn't sit well with her, especially for the fact that she didn't feel as though Syaoran owed her at all. If anything, she was grateful for everything he'd done for her up to that point, for being there when she really needed him and offering her friendship while doing it.

"It's not for me," she piped up when he began the car. "Wait, don't drive yet."

Raising a brow, he left the gear in park and rested against his seat, looking over at her. "What?"

"It's yours." She said, shoving the watch at him. When he didn't take it, she pushed it forward again. "Take it. You bought it."

"What do you mean it's mine?"

When he faced her challenging stare with his own, she gave an exasperated sound and forcefully grabbed his arm. After locking the watch, she sat back and admired it. "There you go."

"What are you talking about?" He glanced at the watch now sitting on his wrist, then looked back up at her. "Why'd you make me buy a watch?"

"You said that money was basically mine," she interrupted. "I just thought…" Hesitant to say it out loud, she mulled it over for a moment, then spoke with her eyes facing the front window shield. "Look, what you did for me this week meant a lot. I don't have a lot of people around me who I can lean on, and you were there for me when you didn't even have to be. So…it's not right to say that you owe me. You really don't. That deal we made really helped me, if you only knew," she admitted, feeling her face start to heat up in discomfort. It was hard to bare her heart out like that, but she needed to thank him properly. "So if anything, I owe you. And…well, I thought you needed something for yourself, since you don't seem to buy yourself very many things."

After a moment of silence, her eyes shifted and met his.

Not knowing what to say, he looked away. Though it had been his own money, she thought so hard over it. He…didn't know anything after all. This woman continued to stir him up in an unnerving and frightening way. As he gripped onto the steering wheel and put the gear on drive, he mulled over everything she said one more time. _You were there for me even when you didn't have to be…_

"You're weird," he muttered as he reversed out of the parking lot.

Thoughtfully she angled her head. "Mm…is that bad?"

"Yes it is." She couldn't see it, but on his face was a hint of a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sakura put on a beaten-up, old pair of jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt. There was a convenience store a few miles away and so she was headed there to buy the ice cream and chips that a slightly drunk Tomoyo was yelling at her to get. While it was only 10PM, Tomoyo had come into her apartment building three hours earlier, upset and stressed out about work and men. The woman had brought her with some alcohol, and within that three-hour period, Tomoyo had soloed it all.

Sakura, meanwhile, wasn't a fan of drinking. She vaguely remembered a night in her late teens where she'd taken in a little too much and ended up puking all over the open street. It was the worst memory of her life and she hated reliving it.

Sakura shoved her hands into her sweater pockets and looked up at the clear night sky. It wasn't that common to see hundreds of flickering bright stars, so this night must be a special one, she mused. That night when she'd confessed to Soshi, the sky looked just like this. The ocean waves calm, the breeze gentle. She remembered truly believing that night that her fairytale story was actually beginning. Not even two months later, it was sad to realize that she had been too naive over the entire ordeal, exactly as Tomoyo and Syaoran had warned her.

Sakura let her gaze drift from the sky to the sidewalk. Syaoran seemed more complicated than Soshi. He'd been supportive and comforting and exactly what she needed. Other times, he was his normal, sarcastic self that she was so accustomed to. And then there were the rare moments when he became so silent and detached from the rest of the world. There was sadness in him that she couldn't quite pinpoint. Discovering all these sides to Syaoran pulled at her, making her more curious and worried at the same time. Curious because she wanted to know who he really was; worried because the image of Syaoran in her mind was changing, in the way that the more she thought of him, the more her heart felt uneasy.

Inside the quiet and empty store, she grabbed a small tub of rocky road ice cream and two large bags of potato chips. Sakura glanced up when the door opened and a couple came in. Unable to help her gaze, she watched them as they kissed. Her eyes darted to their intertwined hands then back to the way they laughed at what the other said. She couldn't help the loneliness that began to fill her.

"That'll be 14.59, miss," the cashier said, interrupting her thoughts.

With a start, she grabbed her wallet and paid for the food.

Sakura left the store, feeling a little more glum than when she'd come in. Because it was already late at night, only a few cars drove through the streets. She glanced up at the night sky again. Such a romantic night and she was all alone. Even Syaoran must be having the time of his life with Julia. Hmph.

As she turned a corner, a car honked behind her. Startled, she jumped and looked over her shoulder, squinting against the headlights. Amidst the brightness of the lights, she saw a familiar face. Syaoran sat behind the wheel, his hand up in a sign of acknowledgement. Her heart erratically pounded in her chest. How did he just suddenly show up out of nowhere when she was just thinking about him? Sakura swallowed instinctively as she walked over to the driver's side.

"What are you doing out here?" The passenger seat was empty.

"Julia apparently lives around here. I just dropped her off." Syaoran glanced down at her plastic bags. "More junk food?"

Sakura immediately hid the bags behind her. With defiance, she answered, "So what if they are?"

He shook his head slightly. "Get in. I'll drive you home."

It didn't help calm her nerves that he was staring at her like that. Because of it, she couldn't register anything he'd said. "What?"

"Get in," he repeated. "Your house is around here too, right?"

She blinked in astonishment. "Huh? Oh no. No that's fine. Don't worry about it. It's like...a fifteen-minute walk. It's really close." Why couldn't she think straight, goddammit. Her blood rushed to her face the next time their eyes met. "Go ahead Syaoran. I'll be fine."

When she remained standing there, looking so uncertain and nervous, he got out of the car. Her heart stopped. She helplessly watched as he walked over to her, grabbed the bags from her hands, threw them at the back seat and turned back towards her. Still at a loss for words, she let him take her arm and push her into the passenger seat. When he settled back down in the car, her hands fumbled with the seatbelt.

The drive to her house took only minutes, but it seemed endless. The silence was deafening. Neither knew what to say or how to explain what just happened.

Sakura looked over at her building, then carefully glanced back at Syaoran. Just at that exact moment, he looked over at her. Her head turned forward, breaking the gaze right away. Her face still burned. Why did she just do that? Why was her heart pounding so hard? She could hear every single beat, echoing in her ears. She'd never been this nervous before, ever. Not even around Soshi.

Meanwhile, Syaoran let out a quiet sigh, wanting to shake off his own anxiety. For some reason, he felt like he was sixteen again. It had been a long time since he felt this tense around a woman.

"I just spent the whole night on a date with some woman," Syaoran began. "We had dinner, walked around by the river, and she even invited me over to stay for the night," he continued, partly talking to himself. "I was going to stay. I was."

Jealousy shot through her, which helped to dissipate her nerves. "Why didn't you?" She asked indignantly.

He looked back at Sakura, waiting until she looked back at him.

"W-what? Why do you keep staring at me like that? It's making me very uncomfortable."

"It's your fault," he muttered. With a frustrated sound, he got out of his seat. Sakura's eyes followed him as he grabbed the bags from the backseat, walked around the car to her door, and opened it. "Get out." She couldn't even find a quick comeback to that rudeness. "Good night."

Sakura frowned; more confused than she was when he'd just found her. "Wait a minute." She interrupted, reaching to grab his arm before he could walk away. Because he'd taken such a far step, she ended up holding his hand. With as much force as she could gather, she forced him to turn back around.

"What?" He asked in an annoyed tone.

She dropped his hand quickly and demanded with authority, "Look, I don't know what happened between you and Julia, but I had nothing to do with it. How is the fact that you're not sleeping with her tonight my fault?"

"Forget it. Do me a favour and just forget everything I said."

"No," she interjected stubbornly. "Explain. What happened?"

As he studied her, he felt a lot of unwelcome emotions, all convoluted inside.

"You were in my head," he said with aggravation. "So when I saw you tonight...it was annoying. I've never been more annoyed that you showed up out of nowhere like that. Look...I don't know what any of it means, so don't ask me to explain any more than that."

Sakura, for the third time that night, was simply floored.

"I'm going," he said resolutely and walked away from her.

When the car drove away, Sakura stood frozen at the front of her building. Her heart was still shaken. She took a deep breath and forced herself to move. She turned around and marched back into her building. No, it's not possible, she thought. What Syaoran meant by those words…it couldn't be. He probably meant that she became so bothersome that he couldn't get her out of his head.

_It's not because he sees you that way_, she said to herself with conviction. _That's not possible in this world, Sakura. Stop dreaming it. _

::::::::::

Timidly, Sakura glanced over at her desk mate. Syaoran was hunched over his keyboard, seemingly working hard. She couldn't understand him at all. Since that night, he hadn't said a word, much less a mere hello. She couldn't decipher whether he was upset with her or just not in the mood at all. He did say that he was really frustrated because he saw her. The frown on her face deepened. What exactly did she do wrong to warrant this kind of cold attitude from him?

Sakura crumpled up a scrap piece of paper, made it into a ball, spun around, and swung her arm. The paper ball landed at the top right side of his head.

Syaoran threw her a subtle look over his shoulder. "What?"

She glowered, crossing her arms in front of her. "What's with the attitude? Are you mad at me? What did I wrong? I didn't do anything wrong. I just bought some food and for some reason, we were at the same place at the same time, so I had nothing to do with being there right when you drove by, and besides, you didn't have to stop. You could have driven by me." She said the last sentence with a huff.

"Are you done?"

"Why are you mad at me? You know how much I hate silence."

"I just have a lot of work to do." When her pout still remained, he suddenly felt like making a joke just so she would crack a smile. But he still felt weird and couldn't exactly hide it. "Let me finish this stuff first."

Unconvinced, she looked over at the clutter on top of his desk. He did look really busy. With a hesitant nod, she agreed and left him alone. Maybe what happened that night was…just Syaoran being extra nice and mean at the same time, and that there really was nothing behind what he said or did. It couldn't have. This was Syaoran, after all, she reminded herself. And yet, a part of her was disappointed with that thought.

…

At lunch, Syaoran stood in front of the microwave, waiting for his food. He looked over idly and caught sight of Sakura, who was eating her lunch at her desk. Why he was so friggin' drawn to her, he couldn't explain. He couldn't help himself from watching her.

As she took in a spoonful of rice and meat, a piece accidentally fell. She blinked, glanced down in surprise, then with embarrassment, looked around carefully, and finally bent down and picked the piece up. For a moment her face showed disgust before she quickly popped it in her mouth. Syaoran chuckled in disbelief. She was so damn clumsy. It was endearing.

Then he caught himself. Syaoran straightened and walked back to the microwave. What the hell was he doing? This is Sakura. She's just the uptight, overly sensitive…being…working beside him. It was bad enough to picture Sakura as a woman, mainly because it made it that much more difficult to get her out of his mind.

Frustrated with himself, he mentally shook himself out of it.

When he was just about ready to get back to his desk, someone from behind said, "That smells good..."

He glanced up. Sakura stood by the door, cautiously looking back at him whilst chewing food in her mouth. "If you're not mad, you should say something now."

With a sudden grin, he then said, "This is the best chicken curry ever made. You know why? Because I made it." He walked over and swung his plate near Sakura so she could smell it. When she began to shift towards it, he pulled it back towards him again. "Unfortunately for you, it's only for me." With that, he walked by her.

"Wait, let me try it," she asked, quickly fishing for a spoon in one of the kitchen drawers. "Don't be so greedy," she urged. "One spoonful."

He sat down on his seat, sent her a bland look. "No."

"Come on, share." Sakura stood right behind his chair. She leaned down as far as she could so she could smell the curry. "Mmm."

Instead of the curry, he smelled a sweet, flowery scent. Realizing her stomach was grazing his shoulder; Syaoran immediately shoved her back and pushed his chair away from her. He never used to notice any of these things before. What was she doing anyway, getting so close to him that they were actually touching? They never stepped over each other's personal space before. It was driving him crazy.

"Get away. It's my food. If you want curry, make it yourself."

Offended, she pointed the spoon at him. "You _know_ I can't cook for the life of me. Besides, how will I know that that's the best chicken curry ever made if I never even get to try it? Seriously, Syaoran, don't be greedy."

He shook his head.

"You know, Tomoyo and I have tried practically every restaurant in downtown Tokyo that offers curry. I'm_ sure_ that I've tasted every curry flavour in Tokyo. You know what that means? That means I'm very skilled at picking out the good from the bad. Besides, if you're not mad, like you said you weren't, you'll let me try it because you're going to be nice and share your food, right? Syaoran, don't be evil! You know how much I love food! Depriving me of food is like…like taking away a carrot from a bunny. It's just plain cruel. Curry's one of my favourite dishes too, you jerk. I just want a spoonful, that's it. It's not like I'm asking for a lot." He stood up. "Syaoran, come o-"

He then shoved the spoonful of curry rice in her mouth.

Startled, her eyes widened. For a moment, he fed her properly. When she closed her mouth and began to chew, she looked up and met his gaze cautiously. Syaoran glanced down at her lips and caught the tiny smear of curry sauce at the corner of her mouth. Before he could stop himself, he reached forward and wiped the sauce off with his thumb. As it happened, his mind only said one thing. _Shit._

Her heart flipped over.

When he pulled away, something inside her trembled. Uneasily, she went back to her desk. She picked up her water bottle and downed the food in one go. As soon as she put it back down, she felt her heart do another tumble, still replaying what just happened in her mind. She squeezed her fists involuntarily when she peeked at him. He looked unfazed.

She fell on her chair and took a deep breath.

Why was this happening? And with Syaoran, at that. She couldn't be… At the thought, Sakura shook her head rapidly. No. It's Syaoran. It's _Syaoran_! She took another deep breath. Okay that had no effect anymore. Her heart, she realized, was already reacting differently to his name now.

::::::::::

After that incident, the week passed slowly, awkwardly, and excruciatingly in silence. On Friday night, Sakura picked up her things and looked over at him. Syaoran was as usual, sitting hunched over in front of his computer. She watched him for a moment, uncertain exactly how to even start a conversation. Two days of awkwardness filled their cubicle. And as annoyed as she was with herself for not being able to get over it, it bothered her even more that he himself had basically shut up too.

In discomfort, she brushed at a strand of hair and cleared her throat.

"I'm going home now," she announced. _Look at me, you jerk!_

He didn't even respond.

Why was he being like this, she thought miserably. At least she was trying to fill in the silence with something. In misery and frustration, she marched over and whacked his head from behind. When he didn't even react, Sakura released an angry breath and quickly left the office, feeling more troubled now.

Syaoran tentatively touched the back of his head. "Why the hell is she so strong," he muttered.

Now that he was alone, he pushed off from the desk and leaned his head all the way back. He stared up at the ceiling and felt the exhaustion pile up. It was a pain having to stop himself like this all the time. He'd thought that if he just stopped communicating altogether he'd stop thinking about her like that. But it wasn't working. Instead, for one moment there he was tempted to touch her again.

_That's it. I've had enough of this._ He picked up his phone and called Julia.

…

Syaoran briefly smiled at Julia as she waved him goodbye. He motioned for her to go on ahead inside and eventually she disappeared from his sight. He sat in his car, looking ahead. The date hadn't been great, but at least he didn't think about Sakura the whole time. Problem was, now his mind was circling back on her. All she did was annoy the heck out of him; at work, in public, wherever it may be. And yet alongside all those annoying moments where those other moments where she would smile, and it was such a damn contagious smile.

"You know something's wrong with you when you've just been on a date with one woman and you're here thinking of another one." Syaoran muttered to himself and started the car. "Get a grip, Li."

Syaoran sighed. He really thought he had Sakura pegged. It still bothered him that she hadn't spent his money on herself. The fact that she thought so hard about getting him something he liked instead completely threw him off. It wasn't even just that. He couldn't explain why it was so easy for her to make him feel better and lighten up his mood. What was it about her?

Syaoran was frowning as he stopped at a stop sign. Because he had been driving so absent-mindedly, he didn't realize that he had driven to the front of Sakura's building. When he did, his head fell. Oh for crying out loud.

His phone rang. Syaoran took it out of his pocket just as he parked the car. He looked down at the caller ID. Kinomoto.

Feeling a little hesitant, he waited a moment before picking it up. "Hello?"

Sakura cleared her throat. "Hi. It's me."

"What's up?"

"I…" She let out a humming sound. "I…smacked your head. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. It's just that you're…acting really weird. I just wanted to hear your voice. Ah, I mean-you kind of stopped talking altogether so I started getting worried that you… lost your voice or that you're sick or something." Sakura stopped before she could keep babbling. She clutched her forehead in embarrassment. "Okay I'm making a fool of myself. Goodb-"

"Wait." Listening to her start to ramble, Syaoran slowly realized that this was how she was when she was nervous. It was frustratingly sweet. The fact that she was concerned and sorry enough to call wasn't helping. Dammit, he wanted to see her. The hell with it. "Come out. I'm just parked in front of your place."

"Eh?"

"I…dropped Julia off a while ago."

"Oh. Okay."

Sakura looked at herself in the mirror. In sweatpants and a tanktop under an old sweatshirt, she didn't look her best. She looked fairly haggard. She itched to change to something better, but stopped herself. She mustered up the courage to grab her keys and walk down the stairs in her outfit. When she reached the lobby, she saw his car parked on the other side of the street. From where she was, she could tell he looked upset.

He gave her a look-over. "Getting ready for bed?"

"No. I just wear this when I'm at home. It's comfortable," she defended, crossing her arms over her chest. "Hm. Looks like your voice is fine after all. I was wrong to worry about you." Before he could say a word, she walked around the car and climbed onto the passenger seat. As she put on her seatbelt, she said, "Since you're here and you haven't spoken to me in days…which I didn't appreciate, considering I didn't do anything bad to you, drive. There's this place nearby that I want to show you."

Without arguing, he drove out of the parking space. "Where is it? You're not trying to seduce me, are you?"

She punched his arm violently. "As if. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"It wouldn't work anyway. I'm immune," he said. "Especially with what you're wearing."

"Okay, shut up now. I'm sure Julia wears gorgeous red dresses to sleep." At the outburst of jealousy, Sakura bit her lip. This was a dangerous, dangerous topic that she wanted to avoid. When she looked out the window, she recalled the words he'd just said. Disappointment rang through her. A little bitter, she muttered, "Take a left here then park the car."

He glanced around, but couldn't see anything in the dark. "This looks shady."

When they both got out, she walked ahead of him. "It happens to be my favourite place in this world, so stop questioning it." Sakura hurried down the steps and walked past tall, leafy trees. "Come on!" She called out, turning to see him study the park warily. She rolled her eyes. "Nothing's going to kill you, so stop panicking."

"I'm not," he retorted as he reached her. "Why'd you bring me here anyway?"

She shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets. "I don't know. Trying to be nice? You haven't been yourself all week, so I thought it might be…Julia…or something else. Ah, whatever. It's a nice place, you'll like it. There."

He looked up. Though there were several trees blocking his view, he could see one of the largest rivers in Japan opening up to the open sea. He hadn't realized how high up Sakura lived in the city until now. A little overwhelmed at the sight, he walked farther to get a clearer view, and found a bench.

Sakura sat down first. "It takes your breath away, doesn't it?"

He took a seat beside her. "It must be nicer when the sun's out."

"Yeah, it's amazing. I always used to come here whenever I was sad or upset. I haven't been by in a while, though. When I was in middle school, the first guy I liked rejected me when I confessed to him." An amused smile was on her face as she recalled the memory. "It was the worst feeling. I thought, 'I'll never find anyone who will like me back!' Then I found this place. I cried my eyes out."

His curiosity piqued, he asked, "First love?"

Sakura shook her head. "No. It was my pride. I've never fallen in love, I told you." Relieved that they were speaking normally to each again, she faced him. "You have a first love, I remember. Was it worth it?"

"What?"

"Falling in love with her." It had bothered her for twenty-six years. She truly wanted to know what it was like to completely fall in love with someone.

"It's not like you have a choice, but I don't regret it."

"What was it like? How did you meet her? What was she like? What did she like about you? When did you know you loved her?"

Syaoran glanced at her and saw the pure innocence and interest in her eyes. Going back to that time in his life was something he rarely ever chose to do, but for some reason, he didn't want to disappoint her, so he tried recalling the memories. They were still painful to remember. At one point, Yuki had become the world. Nothing else had mattered.

"You really don't know what it's like?"

When she shook her head vehemently, he chuckled lightly, not out of ridicule, but out of amusement. Sakura was as innocent as they came.

"We met when we were in high school, but we weren't really friends until university." He let himself remember the brown-haired, blue-eyed girl who used to be the only one who could make him uncomfortable and happy at the same time. "I don't know, we ended up spending a lot of time together. Yuki, she was always there, even when I didn't want her around. She was different."

Sakura smiled softly. It was that side of Syaoran she was listening to now, the sweet one that hardly ever came out. It made her happy to hear him talk about love like that. For her, love was a precious feeling that had to be treasured. "Where is she now?"

At that, the lightness in his eyes faded. "Who knows."

"She must be regretting it," Sakura murmured, oblivious to the change in his facial expression. "Not loving you back, I mean."

Frowning, he turned and studied her. "Why?"

"I don't know, it seems like you really loved her. Any woman should be grateful to have someone love them like that. Real love like that…I don't think it comes as often as people expect it to or even just hope it to."

Thinking back now at how miserable he'd looked that night at the beach, she wondered if maybe that place had a special meaning to Syaoran and this woman. When he continued staring at her, she reddened. "I was just thinking about that time in Yuigahama. I can still remember how sad you looked that night. It worried me," she admitted with a light laugh. "That was the first time I saw a different side of you."

"A different side?"

She shrugged, embarrassed at what she'd just said. "You know. The side that cares about people. The part of you that rarely ever comes out," she said, punching him lightly. "Anyway. How was the date with Julia? You guys seem like you're getting along well."

At the change of subject, Syaoran stretched out his legs in front of him. "Julia's nice. She's not that different from the other women I've dated before. When we go out for dinner, it's mostly her talking about work or her life, and I just listen. I don't mind it. I don't expect anything out of it. I probably won't ask her out again."

"That's a little cold. She likes you so much and you're leading her on. You should tell her properly if you're not interested," Sakura said, frowning as relief coursed through her.

He studied her profile and saw the way her bottom lip jutted out, like when it usually did when she was frustrated. Unable to help it, Syaoran smiled wryly as he looked away. "You know I'm not prince charming, Sakura. I went out with her even though I don't like her that way. I led her on because I needed the company. But..." He straightened up. "I'll break it off. I'm not patient. I get annoyed easily. It's getting to be a drag hanging out with her since there's nothing there. It's no good to lie after all."

"What exactly do you think it means when I say prince charming?"

He smirked. "The famous knight in shining armour. The man who accepts everything about the woman unconditionally. He's got to be good-looking, physically capable, patient…all that good stuff. I mean, ask any guy out there. He doesn't exist. But damn. All women look for him. You do. Julia. I bet Yuki was looking for that guy too, and since I'm nowhere near him, I got rejected." He stood up, feeling agitated. "I'm used to it."

Sakura watched him, the same troubled feeling settling in. He was right in a way. She had an image of what Soshi was supposed to be; to be exactly as that man Syaoran had just described. And yet he wasn't. In the looks department, he certainly got close enough. But…

Sakura studied Syaoran's face. As much as he denied how different he was from what all women wanted, he was closer to prince charming than Soshi could dream of being. Her heart pounding at the realization, she looked away. _Wait. No, that's not-_

Syaoran was the one who was there for her every single time she needed it. She could still remember how she felt when he'd knelt down and bandaged her ankles. Even when he'd invited her to walk aimlessly around Tokyo to get those tickets. When he'd made that bet with her and later followed up on his word by taking her to the mall. How she'd felt all those times was exactly how she was feeling now.

Y_ou're wrong, Syaoran. You're exactly him_. He was what she'd been looking for all this time.

"Why so quiet?"

Staggered at where her thoughts had gone, she got up. This wasn't how imagined things would be. All her life, she had expected the first man she would fall for to be someone completely different. Continuing to stare up at him now, she couldn't stop the surge of feelings. Amidst it all, fear came rising quickly. Everything was changing. Wanting to be away from him, she brushed her hair back and said loudly, "I want to go home."

Eyeing her cautiously, he could tell she was hiding something. Leaving it alone, he said, "I'll take you back."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Sakura stared outside her window blankly, watching the rain drizzling against the windowpane. All weekend, she had stayed home, trying to figure out what it was that she was feeling. She'd gotten close to believing that what she had felt that night with Syaoran was nothing at all. And then Tomoyo stepped foot into her apartment and all those thoughts began crumbling away.

Tomoyo took a spoonful of caramel almond ice cream and stuck it in her mouth. "Why does it bother you so much to admit that you like Syaoran, anyway?"

"Don't say it so casually like that, Tomoyo! I still get goosebumps when you put 'like' and 'Syaoran' in the same sentence. I don't understand what I'm feeling and even when I try to sort them out, I get more and more confused. The fact that I keep thinking about it like it's on replay is driving me insane." Sakura groaned as she stepped away from the window and sat back on the couch beside Tomoyo. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. With her heart thudding, she looked at Tomoyo with apprehension in her eyes. "I'm afraid that what I'm feeling for him… might be more than what I felt for Soshi…or any men in my life, for that matter."

Desperately happy for her friend, Tomoyo put the ice cream down and took Sakura in her arms. "Oh honey. This is it, isn't it? What you've been waiting for?" Tomoyo said comfortingly. "I know this is terrifying. I felt this way when Eriol came around the first time. I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd die waiting for him to ask me out."

"But you guys were in high school. I'm twenty-six years old, for goodness' sake," Sakura muttered while burying her head in Tomoyo's bosom. "I just didn't expect it to happen with him. I feel so old to be only going through this now."

"You are not old," Tomoyo said firmly, pulling away to face Sakura directly. "Age doesn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart, trust me. What are you going to do?"

Sakura raked a hand through her hair and heaved a deep sigh. "What can I do? It's not like he sees me any differently than before. This is all swirling in _my_ head, not his. I just…I don't know."

"Are you going to tell him?"

As though she had been slapped, Sakura stared incredulously at Tomoyo. "No. That thought never even crossed my mind. This is going too fast. I don't even know for sure really, how I feel. No, that's impossible." Already in a panic, she stood up and paced the floor. "God, Syaoran will hate me. He already gets annoyed at the sight of me. He'd probably just laugh at me and call me stupid if I ever told him."

"You know that's a lie," Tomoyo said from the couch. "He's not like that and you know it better than I do. Look." She stood up and grabbed Sakura's shoulders. "Just get to know him better. Get to know that other side of his that you always talk about."

Full of doubt, Sakura stared into Tomoyo's grey eyes. "Won't he find it bizarre if I just…randomly…ask him to spend time with me?"

She laughed with glee, growing excited at this budding love. "He will. But he'll say yes anyway."

Wondering where Tomoyo got all her confidence, Sakura could only shake her head in disbelief. "How are you so sure?"

"Because I'm an outsider and I've seen the two of you from an outsider's point of view. He's probably all mixed up inside too. So I suggest, before you decide to start burying those feelings like I know you want to, explore them for a bit. Who knows what might happen with the two of you?"

::::::::::

Syaoran studied her from behind. She had been staring at her computer blankly for the last fifteen minutes. Even when he'd nudged at her chair, there was no response. What was going on in that brain of hers? It was almost 5PM, but she hadn't packed any of her things.

Having finished all his work early that day and having thought this through all night, he decided to get it over with. Ask her out, he had decided after a horrible, sleepless night. One dinner. See how it goes. If it was awful, then that was it. God, he hoped it would turn out terrible. If not, he was screwed.

Since she'd brought him to that place at the park, it almost became impossible not to think about her. A day after that, he broke it off with Julia as planned, and despite her desperation, he bluntly said the truth. Better to walk away now, he'd said. There was nothing there. Not when his mind was stuck on another woman.

A little antsy at Sakura's lack of response, he stood up, walked around her cubicle, and stood right in front of her view. Leaning over the wall, he asked, "Where are you at right now?"

She jumped in surprise. "What?"

"It's already 5. Aren't you done your work?" He asked, glancing down at her desk.

"Oh." She blinked several times and saw all the unfinished paperwork. She estimated having spent half the day spacing out and thinking. She got no work done. "Oh no, I didn't get…this finished," she mumbled, looking down at one of the assignments she had to do. "Crap."

"What's with you today?" He went around again, looked over her shoulder at the big pile of papers she had in her hand. "Uh…that's due at 6. Give me half." He grabbed a bunch from her and walked back to his desk. "I'll help you. We might get this done on time if you stop daydreaming like a damn school girl."

She stared after him. "What are you doing?"

He looked back at her, annoyance clear in his eyes. "Soshi will kill you if you don't hand this in by 6. I'm done all my work, so let's just finish this."

Her heart in disarray after that small act of kindness, Sakura stared up at him helplessly. "Why are you helping me out?"

He shrugged. "I have time."

"Let's go for dinner after." Afraid to look him in the eye, she twisted around so her back faced him. After a silent pause, she asked tentatively, "okay?"

While he was studying the first page, he let out a small smile. She beat me to it, he thought. "Sounds good."

...

On their way to his car, Sakura stretched out her arms above her head. "I can't believe we just barely made it!" She turned to him. "Thanks. I would have gotten into so much trouble had I not finished that."

"Why were you spacing out so much all day anyway?" He opened the car door on the driver's side.

At the question, she felt her face heat up. She cleared her throat. "Just a lot of things in my mind, that's all. So where should we eat? I'm starving. It's…6:15 already," she said as she looked down at her watch. "I like eating any kind of food, so you can choose."

"There's a Greek restaurant twenty minutes away. It's pretty good. Up for it?"

She nodded in agreement. "That's fine."

As they drove out, the silence settled comfortably. Sakura looked out the window and absently enjoyed the scenery. Her thoughts were still so focused on him. To have lent help that way, it tugged on her heart strings. She was a sucker for kindness, especially for something trivial as finishing a deadline that wasn't even his to stress out about. She wondered if he knew what kind of effect he had on women. This was probably why so many women at work found Syaoran likable and charming, she mused. Funny that she could only see it clearly now when he'd been taking care of her all this time in that oddly subtle way of his.

Tomoyo's words resonated in her mind. _Get to know that other side of his that you always talk about…before you decide to start burying those feelings. _She turned to face him. Thinking more and more about Syaoran made her even more curious as to what kind of her person he really was, especially outside of work.

"Hey Syaoran? What was your childhood like?"

He slowed down at the yellow light. Syaoran rested his arm against the windowsill. "I was quiet. I didn't get along with people that well. In school, I barely had any friends."

Astonished, she glanced up at his profile. "Really?"

He nodded. Deciding there was no point in hiding how tough his life had been, he continued. "My parents ditched me when I was four. I first got adopted when I was seven, but it didn't work out. The relatives weren't thrilled that the family adopted a seven-year-old, unruly kid. So I got transferred to another family when I was eight. I kept getting into a lot of trouble at school and they couldn't handle it. They made me go back to Social Services when I was around thirteen. This old man took me in a year later. He was a damn good cook. I kind of learned everything from him. He was an old grandpa and all his kids were all married, so he was lonely," Syaoran supplied. He glanced over his shoulder and changed lanes. "When I graduated high school, I told him I wanted to live on my own. I didn't want to be dependent on him anymore. He was a really good man," he said as an after-thought. "So he let me go. I got a part-time job while going to university, supported myself."

She never knew. Had she not asked, she never would have known anything about it at all. And he downplayed it as though it was no big deal. For someone to have gone through what he had and become as successful and independent as he was now…it was something to admire.

"That was a little depressing, huh?" Syaoran asked, flashing her a quick grin.

"Actually…I'm just amazed with what you've done with your life, even after everything. I think a lot of people who have gone through something similar would have turned to drugs or alcohol or would have simply given up. The fact that you still wanted to fight for yourself is admirable, Syaoran." She said with sincerity.

"That's a lot of praise. Thanks," he said, trying to sound nonchalant, though her words hit him hard. "Well, what about you? You must have been a happy kid."

She smiled at that. "No, but…my life story isn't nearly as complex as yours."

"I told you mine. Spill it."

"My mom and dad were wonderful parents. My older brother and I had a really good childhood. I have a lot of fun memories of that time in my life. But when I was ten, my mom died in a plane crash. My brother was fifteen at the time, so he took care of me when my dad started having it rough. Sometimes I miss her," Sakura murmured, studying her fingers. "But it's been so long that there are times when I wonder if I've forgotten some memories already." She shrugged uneasily. "I don't know, my dad hasn't really been the same since my mom passed away, but…he's still trying, I guess."

Once they'd reached the restaurant, Syaoran parked the car. But just as Sakura took off her seatbelt, he took her arm. Sakura looked back up at him in slight surprise.

"Those memories of your mom, I'm pretty sure you haven't forgotten. You won't forget, because they're important to you. Sorry to hear about her passing away."

Grateful for the kind words, Sakura smiled genuinely. "Thank you."

The interior of the restaurant had a nice ambience to it, with subtle warm light bathing the room and small chandeliers hanging above the tables. As it was only a Monday night, it wasn't quite busy and both were seated right away at a table for two.

Now sitting in a restaurant, sharing this intimate space together, Sakura became aware immediately of Syaoran as a man. Her heart slowly turned over in her chest as their gazes met. He had really long lashes. And his eyes were a unique shade of brown and red mixed together. She'd never been this close to even notice them before.

"So…this is a little awkward, huh?" She asked with a nervous chuckle. She took the glass of water the waitress offered and took a big gulp. "We've…never gone out for dinner together before," she pointed out.

She really was innocent to have to say it all out. He was already feeling distressed, despite the fact that the car ride had been perfectly fine. Sitting here now in front of her, seeing how big her eyes were and how pink and soft those lips looked, it was almost frightening. All these thoughts rushing in his mind, Syaoran looked down and opened the menu book.

"I'm hungry. Let's order."

In relief, she grabbed her own menu. "I agree."

As dinner continued on, Sakura found it unusual that after that first moment of awkwardness, it had become comfortable again. When they waited for their food, both eventually dove into conversation as they usually did with each other at work. She hadn't realized how easy it was to talk to him. For some reason too, it was like he had stopped judging everything she said and just listened, and for that, she was more than relieved.

"When I was in high school, I always thought I'd be a teacher," Sakura shared as they waited for dessert. "I loved all my teachers since elementary and thought how great it would be to inspire other children the way they inspired me."

Syaoran took a sip of his drink. "Why didn't you?"

"I lost confidence when I was in my first year of college. I realized I don't work hard enough to tell other people to work hard. Being an office clerk has been enough for me anyhow." Sakura looked up when the waitress arrived with the chocolate and strawberry parfait. "That looks so good! I think I'm drooling already, Syaoran."

He laughed. "Thanks," he said as he took it from the waitress and set it on the table. "Go ahead." Sakura flashed a bright smile as she scooped a spoonful of it. Damn, she really was cute.

"How was university? And here I thought for the longest time that you were a fool without a goal," she teased when he sent her a mocking glare. "Turns out you're smarter than me."

"Attending university means nothing," he said dismissively. "I didn't really know what I wanted to do. That old man told me it'd be good to go into business, but it's not like he knew much. He was financially in trouble half the time I lived with him." Syaoran leaned forward and ate his portion of the ice cream. "Yuki was studying business at the time. She kind of guided me through it. For me, it was like I guess I should take this. It didn't matter all that much. Dreams I mean. I…uh…never had any growing up."

"That's not true," Sakura argued passionately as she put her spoon down. "Everyone's got dreams. You were probably focused too much on survival that you didn't put as much thought into it as most people, but I bet there was part of you that wanted to become something, even if it was something farfetched and impossible and foolish." She waited until he met her eyes. "I'm right, aren't I?"

The corner of his mouth lifted. She had him pegged completely. "Astronaut," he supplied with a chuckle. "I always wanted to run away so I thought, what better than literally leaving the world and everything behind."

She laughed delightedly. He was so different. So different from who she had made him out to be. It warmed her heart to know that. The fact that he shared with her these things about him made her feel a sense of self-worth…like she became special to him in some way. Especially considering what kind of relationship they had shared for so long, who would have thought she would be feeling this way now?

"Done?" He asked as she continued to stare at him with wonder.

She caught herself and grabbed her purse. "Oh I'll pay, since I invited you out and I made you do my work."

He put down his credit card before she could. "Next time."

Startled, Sakura looked up. He met her gaze tentatively. Her heart jumped. Was it…? Anxiety growing again, she repeated to herself what he'd just said. Did that mean he wanted to go out with her again?

Realizing he was waiting for her answer, Sakura blinked and managed to reply amidst her sudden nervousness, "Okay."

:::::::::

"So what happened after that?" Tomoyo asked, her eyes wide and curious.

Sakura shook her head. "Nothing. He took me home, we said our goodbyes, and that was it. Then…for the rest of the week at work, it was like back to the way it was before."

"When you say 'back to the way it was before', do you mean like obnoxious Syaoran?"

"No, no. No, I mean, whenever we talked, which wasn't often because of how busy it's been recently, our conversations were just…meaningless small talk." Disappointed, Sakura curled up at the corner of the couch in Tomoyo's living room. "I guess Syaoran didn't feel anything? Ahh! This is so hard. Why am I thinking so much about this? I used to dislike Syaoran with a passion. I hardly ever thought about him outside of work. Now he's always in here," she muttered as she drilled a finger onto her left temple.

With sympathy, Tomoyo only offered a smile. "Why don't you invite him out again?"

"That just screams desperate, Tomoyo. And it's Syaoran. As wonderful as it was to spend time with him outside of work... We've been nothing but indifferent co-workers for two years. It…ah…I don't know." Sakura got up and walked to the kitchen. "Anyway, how's Eriol these days?"

"Well, he seems fantastic. I'm not doing so great. He showed up here and I just got weak at the knees." She said with a heavy sigh. "This is why I didn't want to see him. I become so useless and pitiful when he's around."

Sakura laughed as she walked back to the room with a glass of water in hand. "He's still gorgeous, I imagine."

"I badly wished for him to grow bald and gain 50 pounds, and unfortunately, he's just as beautiful as I remember him. I don't know. I have to figure out what to do with the situation, so…let's just leave it at that. I don't like dwelling on him. Let's just focus on you for now." Tomoyo looked back at Sakura. "Tell me, what did you think of the actual dinner with Syaoran Li?"

Sakura caught the inquiry in her eyes. "It was different. Not what I'd expected at all. I realized how little I knew about the real him. It makes me want to get to know him more," she confessed quietly. "Syaoran listened to me too. He really listened to what I had to say. He didn't belittle me or make me feel stupid about what I say or think."

"You really like him, don't you?"

She sighed as she glanced out the window. "More than I thought I did."

::::::::::

Syaoran stared up at the ceiling. This was the sixth straight night of him barely getting any rest at all. He was already an insomniac, but at least he got three-hour, four-hour naps here and there throughout the night. Now it was becoming so sparse that even two-hour naps were a luxury.

This is all her fault, he thought with displeasure. _Getting inside my head like this. This is why women are so friggin' toxic to men._ Syaoran rested his hands behind his head.

He wondered what she'd think if she only knew what went through his mind that whole night they'd gone to dinner. All night, it was like he was beginning to grasp just how much he grew to like her after all this time. It had become clearer and clearer as the night winded down exactly how attracted he was. She was different in a refreshing way. The way she showed interest in who he was, the way she laughed at his jokes and appreciated everything he said; it was surprisingly new. Yuki had been the same way in that sense, he remembered, but she wasn't as cheerful or happy as Sakura tended to be.

If he could put it any other way, that façade he and Sakura had shown each other when they first met was slowly breaking down now. Like they could see who the other person really was.

Syaoran groaned as he shifted position in bed again, restless. He knew he was in trouble. The fact that he was up and still thinking about her said it all. _For the love of all that is good, don't make me go through that again,_ he begged. He shut his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep.

:::::::::

Syaoran blinked rapidly to clear his vision as he came out of the office kitchen with a cup of hot, black coffee in his hand. He was so, so tired. This was already his second cup, despite the fact that only one hour had passed since work began. When he reached his cubicle, he glanced over idly at Sakura, who was chatting with Tomoyo. Usually he would have at least greeted the pretty violet-haired woman, but looking at Sakura just reminded him of how slow and long and painful his nights were becoming.

He sat down and massaged his temples for a moment.

"Hello Syaoran," Tomoyo greeted from behind. "Are you having trouble staying awake?"

He glanced up and managed a half-hearted smile. "Hey Tomoyo. How's it going?"

"Lovely." She studied the faint bags under his eyes then her gaze swung over to the cup of coffee. Her eyes sparkled at how similar her best friend looked at that moment. This guy wasn't getting any sleep whatsoever either! Almost deviously, she moved closer and blocked Sakura's view of him. In a quiet voice, she murmured, "Sakura tells me she hasn't been able to get any proper sleep since she took you out for dinner. Could it be that you're going through the same thing?"

They eyed each other for a moment. "Uh…I don't know about Sakura, but I'm a regular insomniac."

"If I were you…it might help try to ease things if_ you_ took _her_ out this time and repaid the 'debt', so to speak. That way you wouldn't feel obligated…or guilty that a woman asked you out on a date first. I mean, not that you would feel that way." Tomoyo then stepped back and smiled. "Besides, I know from experience that going out on a date with someone for the entire day is a _very _enlightening experience."

Syaoran shrewdly watched her. "Really now."

She shrugged one shoulder innocently. "I didn't say anything new that you haven't thought about."

She then walked back to Sakura, who had been watching, with eyes as wide as saucers, the little interaction between her and Syaoran. Because he was still half-asleep, he didn't bother listening in on their conversation.

Tomoyo gave him plenty to think about. He'd considered it, but wasn't sure if it would work. It might be enough to rid Sakura out of his system if he took her out on a date for the whole day. He'd be able to pinpoint exactly why she was stirring him up like this, and once he was able to do that, going back to how it was before would be easier to do. And all these churned-up emotions were probably all physical. He wasn't emotionally invested in this woman. He couldn't be.

:::::::::

Sakura woke up at the sound of her phone vibrating loudly against her desk. She blinked rapidly, but couldn't open her eyes wide enough. Using her hand to feel for the phone, she reached over the edge of her bed and grabbed it.

"Mm." She muttered in greeting, burying her face on the pillow.

"It's almost noon already and you're still in bed?"

Her eyes shot open. The deep, male voice made her push up against her bed. "Syaoran? What…"

"Wake up. There's this place I want to take you to. You're free all day right?"

In a matter of seconds, the sleepiness vanished. Almost in a frenzy, Sakura sat up quickly and held the phone against her ear. "Yes, I'm free today. I-I need to eat breakfast or lunch. But I need to wash up first, I just woke up. I can't find my slippers." Without them, she got to her feet and fished for a comb. Halfway to the bathroom, she stopped. "Wait, where are we going?"

"I'll tell you when I pick you up. I'll be there in half an hour." At that, he hung up.

In shock, she stared at her cellphone. "Half an hour? Are you kidding me?"

She looked up at the clock. Did he not know that women needed more than one hour just to get ready for an outing? Already out of sorts, Sakura grabbed her bath towel just before she ran to the bathroom to take what would have to be a five-minute-long shower.

And just as she stood under the shower head, it all then came to her.

Syaoran had just asked her out. Sort of.

She raised her face to let the water wash her reddening face. This was…technically their first date, right? Suddenly growing nervous, she took a deep breath. She had to admit, part of her was afraid of what was happening between them, and it had made her step back a little and avoid him in some ways. That didn't work to her favour in the end anyway, since she ended up wanting to see him more. But now, here it was. Another chance to be with him.

Inside her, excitement won over anxiety.

…

Almost exactly thirty minutes later, Syaoran stared up at Sakura's balcony. So he took Tomoyo's advice. He needed to get her out of his system, and since one dinner only made him want to be with her more, maybe a whole day would do the job.

Still, he winced, remembering the way he asked her out minutes ago. It wasn't exactly the most romantic way of asking a woman out on a date, but…there it was. Oh well, maybe that was for the best.

He grabbed his phone and called her. After four rings, the voicemail came on. What the hell was this. She didn't pick up. A little irked, he got out of his car and leaned against it, absently scanning the building once more. What was she doing up there anyway?

Meanwhile, Sakura hurriedly grabbed her purse and fit her feet into a pair of black flats. She had heard the call but chose to ignore it. He would just have to wait, wouldn't he?

Sakura ran to the front of her full-length mirror and surveyed herself. Her makeup accented her big emerald eyes and her pink heart-shaped lips. Her hair fell in curls along the sides of her face, while her bangs were placed off to one side. She had decided to go with a purple, subtly patterned, strapless summer dress beneath a blue and white cardigan. It wasn't exactly formal, but having some understanding of Syaoran's style, she hoped it was appropriate for wherever the heck they were going.

With a satisfied nod, she quickly walked out of her apartment. As the elevator passed each floor, Sakura's eyes followed the blinking numbers. Now that the only thing left to worry about was Syaoran, her heart began to thud in slow, loud beats.

Growing impatient, Syaoran glared at the entrance door of her building. Where was that woman? He held his phone in hand and was about to call her once more, but just as he looked up, he saw her.

Words left him. Actually it was like his mind shut off and all he could do was gape at her like a pitiful teenager going out on his first date.

Already feeling out of her comfort zone, Sakura swallowed as she neared him. Syaoran hadn't stopped overtly staring at her since she'd come out of the building. Realizing he wasn't going to stop anytime soon, she took the moment to memorize how he looked.

He'd gone with casual clothes as well, with a form-fitting white shirt under a pale grey leather jacket. He'd worn jeans – she hadn't expected him to own a pair, considering all the slacks he wore to work. She realized how well he carried himself. Though his style was the exact opposite of Soshi's, Sakura was surprised to find Syaoran a little breathtaking.

"Sorry I'm late," she began, hoping to sound at ease, despite the pulse jumping at the base of her throat. She bit back the urge to lick her lips at the way her mouth dried. "Though thirty minutes wasn't exactly that much time to prepare."

He straightened up and continued to look at her, even as she stopped in front of him. "You dressed up just for me?" He asked lightly as he touched the ends of her hair between his fingers.

She could barely feel the touch, but it was enough to make her heart go on overdrive. Sakura let out a strangled laugh. "No way. Why would I? This is how I normally look when I go out with friends." Liar. Even with thirty minutes, she'd laboriously chosen the right clothes, the right hairstyle, and the right makeup just for him.

"Really?" The way she wouldn't look at him straight in the eye was the biggest giveaway. Syaoran bit back a grin. "Let's go then."

"Where are we going?" She asked as soon as she settled into the car. More comfortable now that he wasn't staring at her so intensely, she let out a deep breath that easily enough calmed her nerves. "What are we doing? I'm really hungry. Are we going to eat first? _Can_ we eat first? I didn't get to eat anything since you only gave me thirty minutes to dress up. Which by the way wasn't enough time."

"Stop talking."

Sakura replied mildly, "This is kidnap, Syaoran. Tell me where we're going."

"It's not kidnap if you willingly come with me." The familiarity of his words made her blush and smile. "I'll feed you don't worry."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 **

Sakura followed Syaoran out of the car. A little confused as to what they were doing here, she scanned the road, the forest across it, and the wide view of the ocean to her left. He'd driven to one of the national parks near Tokyo Bay. She'd never stepped foot in the area, though she knew it was a known tourist spot.

"What are we doing here?"

He put on his sunglasses. "I love this place. Have you ever seen Odaiba at night? The Rainbow Bridge?"

She shook her head. "I heard it's beautiful though."

"That's an understatement. Since you showed me your favourite place, I'll show you mine tonight. Let's get something to eat."

Curiosity started to bubble up. Having realized how little she really knew about Syaoran, she wanted to take advantage of every opportunity to uncover parts of his life a little bit more. Just as she was about to probe about why he loved this place so much, her stomach growled.

She met his gaze and saw the quick grin split his face. "I take it your stomach agrees with me."

Sakura tried to stay dignified as she walked ahead of him with her arms crossed over her chest. "I want ramen."

"Ramen?" Syaoran echoed from behind.

"There must be some really good ramen restaurants around here. I've been craving it for a while now, but never got a chance to go for some with Tomoyo."

They crossed the highway and walked through a clearing in the forest. It was a shortcut Syaoran knew well that led to a strip of restaurants at the other side of the park. "I'm surprised you didn't choose a classier place to eat," he remarked. He'd assumed she liked fancy restaurants, considering her preference in men.

"Me? I'm so far from it. I just can't fit into that lifestyle." Sakura turned and waited for him to reach her. "Soshi took me to some expensive restaurants and of course, I was impressed at first. But then I realized how fake it all was. I wasn't being myself when I dressed up for him just so I could fit into his crowd. I guess you were right all along. Wait, why, you don't like ramen?"

"What? I do. Hell, I can eat ramen three times a day, seven days a week."

She laughed. Just as she spun around and tried to step over a big boulder, the front of her shoe got stuck in one of the crevices. "Ahh!" She cried as her body reacted to the movement and fell forward. Bracing herself for the impact, her eyes shut automatically and her arms straightened in front of her.

Then suddenly, it was like her body became suspended. In shock, she squinted her eyes open to realize her face was about a foot away from the ground. She blinked and stared down at the arms wrapped around her. Syaoran had caught her just in time.

"You really are accident-prone, aren't you?" He pulled her up until she was back on her feet.

Her face in a horrible shade of red, Sakura swallowed as she turned and faced him slowly. "That was…that was scary. I really thought I was going to hit my face on the ground."

Syaoran smirked. "Who knows where you'd be without me."

Her body still on alert, she felt the warmth of his hands through her dress since he was still holding her waist. When she glanced down, he followed suit, realized where his hands were and immediately dropped them. Sakura, despite feeling mortification, met his gaze warily.

Syaoran looked back at her with an unreadable expression in his eyes then he patted the top of her head lightly. "Come on. Aren't you hungry?" He walked past her.

She waited until her nerves calmed down before she moved.

"I guess I should thank you," she muttered.

Syaoran glanced behind him and still saw the reddened cheeks. He bit back a smile. The fact that she had tripped like that was just her personality and it really didn't surprise him anymore. Sakura was clumsy and got embarrassed too easily and wasn't good at hiding it. It was part of her charm and it was endearing, he had to admit.

"Let me ask you something," Sakura began, trying to regain her ground.

"Go ahead."

"Totally off topic, but I've been curious about this for a while. What kind of women do you normally date?"

"Oh. Probably women like Julia. Usually I ask women out who are obviously interested in me. I don't like going after women who play hard to get. It's a waste of time."

"Eh…Then what do you do with women you like first? Do you bother asking them out or do you just wait for a woman to show their feelings first?"

"Why the sudden interest in my love life?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I'm still mortified that you almost saw my underwear, so can you just answer the question?" Sakura retorted.

He burst in laughter. "Fine. I haven't liked a woman first in a while. It takes too much effort to be serious about someone. Going after a woman…I haven't done that since Yuki." He shrugged one shoulder. "You? Other than Soshi."

Sakura pondered over it for a moment. "I don't normally date. Surprisingly," she added derisively.

He chuckled. "How many relationships have you been in?"

"Three, including Soshi. My first boyfriend was when I was in high school. He was the first guy to ever ask me out. I didn't know who he was, but I was really curious what it would be like to have a boyfriend. That's why, when we began dating, we realized we had nothing in common. I think I stayed with him for 2 weeks? And then after that, we broke up. I wasn't particularly heartbroken."

"So you didn't get the whole first love experience," Syaoran concluded.

"No, I didn't." She let out a deep sigh. "At that time, I didn't think it was that important. Then my second boyfriend in college. Ah…same kind of thing. All my friends had someone, so they set me up with a friend of theirs. He was cute. We were together for a few months. He was my first kiss, but it wasn't anything special. I didn't feel a thing." Sakura stopped walking and rested her hands on her hips. "I'm tired. Why are we still surrounded by trees and rocks? Where are the restaurants?" She began to complain.

"All that junk food's keeping you in good shape, isn't it," he commented lightly. When she grunted in response, he grinned. Syaoran took her arm and pulled her along. "Keep walking. We're almost there."

"Fine. Where was I? Oh yeah, after that guy was Soshi. I mean, you know me. I'm pretty impractical when it comes to romance. I can't go on dates, because I start fantasizing about what the future will be like for me and that poor soul who has to go on the date with me. I can't help but romanticize everything, because it makes me happy to think that way. I know it's not realistic," Sakura spoke before he could interrupt her. "I know. But thinking that…that prince charming I always imagined would show up at my door, doesn't exist is…a little hard to swallow. Just because I've been hoping for him to come around since I was really young, you know?"

He didn't say anything, wanting to know if she really was still looking for that unattainable man. _I guess women can't let it go that easily,_ he thought.

"Could I…borrow your arm?" She asked reluctantly while studying the mud-filled pond under the bridge. "Sorry, I'm no good with creepy things that swim and crawl in mud."

Syaoran refused to over-think it as he offered his arm. The idea of her depending on him made him feel strange. Not once in his life had a person ever leaned on him; not even Yuki. It was definitely an unfamiliar territory.

Sakura held his arm tightly as they walked over an old wooden bridge. Despite the rise in her anxiety level, she managed to smile in gratitude. "Thanks. But you know, Syaoran… I realized something important."

"What's that?"

"Mm…that there are different kinds of prince charmings that exist."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, there are men who don't have to look like Soshi and don't have to be sophisticated or high-class to be caring and sweet and treat women right. It took me a while to realize that," Sakura admitted with a rueful laugh. "Even now, I still haven't…given up on finding my prince charming, because the idea of it has changed a lot for me. It's not just about the looks anymore."

"How'd you get there?"

_Here it goes_, Sakura thought. She took an inward deep breath. "In some ways, you're… kind of like prince charming." When his arm fell limp, the corners of her eyes wrinkled.

"What?"

It was as though someone had thrown a football right between his eyes. The concept of putting 'Syaoran Li' and 'prince charming' in the same sentence had never occurred to him once. It was even more bizarre that it was coming out of Sakura's mouth; the same Sakura who had constantly labelled him as 'the most arrogant jerk I've ever known.'

Sakura watched from the side as several emotions flashed across his face. Syaoran had an adorable side too, she realized with pleasure. After letting go of his arm, Sakura began to walk ahead of him, laughing. Over her shoulder, she said teasingly, "Don't worry Syaoran, It'll be our secret." Then she turned around to leave him behind. "Oh I see lights. Hurry up," she called as she went through the narrow opening of trees.

"Sakura-" She ran out of sight from him. He let out a sigh before running after her. Even in a dress, flats, and handbag, Sakura still managed to run when it came to food.

When he got to her moments later, he saw the line of restaurants up ahead. Even without knowing the area, she still found her way to it. He wondered if her sense of smell was just that good. Syaoran stared at her back. "You're one crazy woman."

Out of breath, she looked over her shoulder at him. "Feed me, Syaoran. I'm hungry."

Her nose and cheeks were pink. Her emerald eyes were filled with humour. That smile that always hit him in the gut was on her face at that moment. She looked happy. And Syaoran found her too beautiful for words. With the wind in her hair, Sakura absently placed one of her stray curls over her ear as she turned back around.

Suddenly his hand shot out and grabbed hers. He yanked her back and she fell against his chest.

Bewildered, she stared up at him, her eyes wide. Her hands instinctively splayed against his chest. "Wha-"

Without a word, he bent his head down and lightly pressed his lips against hers. Her body froze. Her eyes remained open and wide as she stood thunderstruck while his lips met hers.

After a moment, he pulled away, slowly at first. When his gaze drew back to her eyes, he saw the shock resonating there. He bit back a sigh. She had been stirring him up all this time and it was exhausting to keep stopping himself. He should've known he had reached his limit already.

Sakura's eyes averted. When he stared at her just like that, her brain seemed to always shut off completely. What to do now? Her mind repeated in a panicked fashion. Her lips still tingled. Her fingers itched to touch her lips, but she fisted her hand. She couldn't even think clearly. It wasn't even her first kiss, but it felt so different. Why did it feel so…special?

To make things worse, she felt a warm ball of tears rise up in her throat. _Oh my God, don't cry now._ She blinked rapidly to push them back.

After what seemed like a long silence, she cautiously looked back at him. What would they both do if she started to cry? His amber eyes were staring into hers in a way that weakened her knees. Now he looked away, unsure what to say. Clearing his throat lightly, he spoke. "I see a ramen restaurant. Let's go."

Sakura managed to nod when he walked away.

Recognizing the fact that their relationship had now completely and utterly changed, neither spoke a word. There was no going back. He had made the move and she didn't do a thing to stop it. Avoiding each other's gaze, they continued to walk down the path, with a meter-length of space between them.

…

Lunch had been silent. At the ramen restaurant, the two had chosen seats at the counter so they didn't have to face the other. While random comments about the food were passed, conversation was for the most part dead. One was desperately trying to find something to talk about, while the other could care less, still mulling over what he'd done. He didn't regret it, but the fact that this awkward atmosphere had settled so quickly made him wonder if he'd picked the wrong timing to do it. Then again, it wasn't like he really had much of a choice. He didn't even realize he'd kissed her until it was over.

Now they were walking down a long stony stairway to the open beach. Sakura had requested it and he hadn't said no, despite wanting to avoid beaches. A little worried that she would trip over her own feet, Sakura took her time trudging down the stairs. Because of it, Syaoran ended up farther than she would have liked. Even though they hadn't said much to each other since that incident, having him near her still made her feel safe.

"Syaoran," she called out timidly. She squinted against the sunlight.

He turned around and realized he'd gone about twenty steps down from her. So absorbed in his thoughts, he had almost forgotten where he was. Sakura let out a worried smile, hoping he got the message. He knew her well enough to recognize it was a smile that meant 'fear.'

"Sorry," he said as he walked back up the stairwell. "Scared you might trip and break your bones?"

Almost automatically, her scowl returned. "Don't jinx it. You know I could very well do that."

Without hesitation, he took her hand and held it in his, then began to walk down. Feeling her pulse skip, Sakura kept silent as she curled her fingers over his tightly and walked in rhythm of his pace. His hand felt rough and big against hers. Regardless of what happened and what that might have meant, she was content that he still took care of her just like this.

...

Sakura breathed in the familiar scent of the ocean as she let the sand squeeze through her toes. In her hands were her bag and her flats. There was just something about the water that made her feel completely at home, at peace. She smiled as she closed her eyes and let the sound of the waves fill her senses. So serene here, she mused, even with the faint sounds of children playing in the ocean meters away from where they were.

"You really like the ocean, don't you?" Syaoran watched her idly from behind. He was sitting on a large log, his legs stretched out in a relaxed fashion.

She nodded. "I feel at peace here. I don't know why."

As he scanned the scenery, he was reminded of Yuki. The fact that he didn't go back to Yuigahama since the work trip haunted him. He knew it was time to find that letter. It was the only way to really move on from everything. But even after months, the same excuses and reasons always stopped him. He just couldn't muster up the courage to look for it and face it head-on. What it would be like after reading it was what he was afraid of. Would he turn back to that depressed, isolated person that he had become for that first year after she died?

Studying the searching look on his face, Sakura longed to know where it was coming from. The more she learned about him and spent more time with him, the more she began to care. It had made her wonder what it was, or who it was, that made him look this sad. She put her bag and shoes down on the sand, and stood about an arm's length in front of him. He looked over at her inquisitively.

"I forgive you." She said firmly.

His brow rose. "What'd I do?"

"For kissing me earlier." Sakura shrugged her shoulders quickly. "I know you didn't mean for it to happen and you're beating yourself up over it right now, so I forgive you. That means, you don't have to be sad anymore! Otherwise, I might just have to beat you into a pulp. I don't let men touch me that easily, you know?" Sakura smiled cheekily when he continued to stare quietly at her. It was the only way she thought could make him feel better. "And you're not that special, so don't start thinking you can get cozy with me, pal."

Suddenly he broke into a smile. Sakura had some kind of warped sense of humour that always seemed to amuse him. Every time he would get into one of these moods, she was always there to pull him out of it. "You think I'm sorry for kissing you?"

She blinked. A little thrown off, her mind went blank for a moment.

Catching herself before she could stutter, Sakura looked away and pretended to study the people at the beach. "W-why else would you be sad with me around? Don't you know when I was in high school, I was voted by practically the whole school as the most enjoyable person to be with? Heck, even my first boyfriend cheered for me and we had a miserable time together."

Syaoran glanced down at the sand then back up at her. "Really now."

"Yes." When he continued to send her that 'I-don't-believe-you' look, she laughed. "No. But don't you think I'm fun to be with?"

He merely nodded in agreement, biting back the sudden urge to pull her into his arms. He did enough touching for today. For Sakura, all these things were new and seemingly unlike what she'd experienced before. Keeping this in mind, Syaoran knew he had to step back. Besides, he reminded himself, wasn't this little outing to get her out of his system? Not put her deeper into it? At that, he decided to ignore his gut feeling and physically distanced himself.

"You're getting a little too full of yourself, Kinomoto." Syaoran got up and swiped at the back of his pants. "Hey, let's do a competition. First one's a race to that sand castle that kid's making." It was about 50 metres away. "Second one…let's see. Whoever can find the biggest shell outside of the water. It's got to be clean and can't have anything inside it."

"Ooh let's build something with sand too. Even though we don't have any tools, we could still use our hands." She suggested, immediately growing excited. It had been too long since she actually played at the beach like this.

"Fine. Best two out of three. Loser has to go buy ice cream and dinner." Syaoran grinned, brimming with ego. "I'm winning this one, baby."

"You haven't seen me at my best, Li, but you're about to see it now." She challenged, taking off her cardigan and throwing it to the side.

He followed suit and left only the white form-fitting tanktop. Sakura couldn't help herself. Her eyes remained fixed on his nicely toned arms. The man must be regularly lifting weights. The perfect beach bod, she concluded with part dismay and part awe. As hard as she tried, exercise was not her forte, and she'd gone with a dress that day to hide the little bump of fat on her tummy. But he definitely was a thing to look at.

"Stop flexing those arms," she said with a glint in her eyes. "I want to get this competition started."

Surprised that she called him out, he looked over at her and caught that impatient stance. Glad that she looked happy and was having fun, he let himself relax. He couldn't remember the last time he let all his worries and problems go and just enjoyed life. This was the prime time to do it. "Oh you're really asking for it now, Sakura. Let's start here."

...

Two hours later, they both sat on the sand about five feet from each other. Syaoran was currently building a car while Sakura was aiming for a temple. Without tools though, sand-building was highly tough to come by. Adding to that was the exhaustion that had piled up over the course of two hours, including endless arguments in between and during each game.

"_You can't be the one yelling out 'start!' That's unfair!" Sakura argued. _

"_Then why don't you go find somebody to do it then? Good luck finding someone who has the patience to deal with you!" He snapped back. _

_Her nostrils flared. "Oh you just wait buddy!" _

"_Stop with the excuses and admit you suck." _

"_No! You're just not being fair! It's called sexism." _

_Syaoran stared at her wearily, glaring through his sunglasses. "Stop stalling and let's go! Come on, let me embarrass you already." _

"_Shut up! I'm going to ask that kid!" _

After the race, which Syaoran had won every trial run and including the final race, the search for the biggest shell began. Of course, seashells by the shore were often the same size and didn't go past a certain diameter. The search had taken a good thirty minutes before Sakura managed to find a shell relatively bigger than anything he could find. So it was really just down to this one game, though neither was in the mood still to build something worth looking at.

"The sun's setting, Syaoran," Sakura complained as she tried to form the roof of the temple.

"But we can't eat until somebody wins." He was damned competitive. It was really an awful part of his personality that he knew too well. Losing was just not an option.

She blew the bangs that were sweat-glued to her forehead. "I didn't realize you're so competitive. The thought of beating people and coming out a winner really fuels you, huh?"

"Yes."

Sakura burst into laughter. When the silence settled again, Sakura pulled back and studied her temple. Damn, it didn't look like one at all. On the verge of defeat, she began to swipe her hands together and gathered herself up. She brushed back the sand on her dress. "I'm tired and hot and I want ice cream before dinner. I forfeit."

His head shot up, a scowl on his face. "Why would you do that? I was just about to put on the wheels."

When they both studied his sculpture, Sakura shook her head in mock dismay. "That looks more like a pillow, Syaoran. Get over it. Look, I'll just buy the ice cream and pay for dinner. Keep working on your car. I'll be right back."

He grabbed her arm when she walked past him. "You should've kept going with the game. At least you were getting somewhere," he said as he studied her sand temple. With a sigh, he extended his other arm upwards. "Help me up." As soon as he was on his feet, he said, "It's my treat today so I'll get the ice cream."

Sakura's mouth opened to argue, but he turned around and began to walk away. "Wait, I'll go with you anyway. I don't want you picking something I'm not going to like." She bent down and began gathering their things in her arms.

He turned and began walking backward, watching her as she shoved her feet into the flats. "Hurry up."

"Shut up. I'm going as fast as I can." When she walked past his horrible-looking car, she stopped for a moment and gave it a nice kick. When she looked up and caught the look of displeasure he flashed at her, she stuck her tongue out at him.

…

Syaoran bit into his ice cream. He caught Sakura struggling to balance her bag, shoes, and sweater while carrying a large ice cream cone with, as always, three scoops. Amused and feeling a little sorry for her, he took her bag and shoes out of her hands before she could say a word. He tucked them under his arm and began walking back down towards the water. Speechless, Sakura stared after him.

"Let's sit here." He dropped down onto the sand.

She followed suit and sat beside him. "Thanks for the ice cream."

Syaoran looked back at her and saw the happiness clearly set on her face. "Why are you so in love with it anyway?"

"When I was a kid, we lived near this ice cream shop that sold hundreds of flavours. My mom used to take me every week in the summer and it was so much fun. We always did things together like that. When she died, I stopped going for a long time. I didn't think I could take it. A couple of years later, my dad…even though he was still very sad, he took me out almost every week in the summer. And he'd smile at me, the way he used to for my mom, whenever I ate ice cream." Sakura let out a self-conscious smile. "So every time I eat ice cream even now, I think of my parents."

Syaoran stared into space for a moment. "I used to wonder about mine all the time. I got really depressed in junior high because everybody always talked about their mom and dad and I didn't have any. I got over it… but hearing those kinds of stories still make me jealous," he admitted with a grin. "I'm glad for you, though."

Sakura studied his face and saw the glimmer of sadness behind his smile. "Even without parents or a family, you still grew up to be a good man." She studied the waves hitting the shore. "You know, those people who abandoned you…I feel bad for them. Because they missed out on the chance to get to know you. But if it helps, you didn't need them."

She turned back towards him and saw the smudge of ice cream at the corner of his mouth. Realizing the situation had switched on them, Sakura rummaged in her purse for a tissue. Timidly, she pressed it against the side of his mouth. When he stared at her, an unreadable expression in his eyes, she blushed in embarrassment.

"You had something there," she mumbled, turning her head away.

For a moment, he watched her, touched. Then he shifted sideways and bumped her shoulder with his. At the act, she looked back at him, her heart pounding. He smiled with a sincerity that left her breathless. "Thanks."

...

Sakura pulled the cardigan tighter against her body as she crossed her arms. It was overwhelming. The night view of the Rainbow Bridge and Odaiba simply took her breath away. It was a bonus that there were no clouds in sight and projected what seemed like hundreds of stars across the night sky. Viewing the city from atop a small mountain, Sakura felt the fairytales from her childhood take form. Brightly-coloured, shining city lights mixing in with stars. It was like magic.

"How'd you find this place?" She asked, still mesmerized.

They were sitting on the grass. Syaoran pulled his knees up and rested his arms over them. "Yuki brought me here once."

For some reason, that simple statement had told Sakura exactly how deeply he must have loved her. She must have been a really special person in his life. It made her feel a little dull ache at the thought. "It's amazing. I feel like a little girl in a Disney story," she said with a light laugh. "Lots of pixie dust down there."

"Yeah I thought you might like it."

"Thanks for showing this place to me. Now you really are like prince charming." She laughed when he began groaning. "Three months ago, I never thought I would say that, but…" Sakura rubbed her arms from the cold breeze. "Things change."

Syaoran studied her profile for a long moment, then shrugged off his jacket. "I'm not trying to act like one, okay?" He declared firmly when he passed her his jacket. "It's just the decent thing to do."

Touched, she merely took it from him and slid her arms into the sleeves. She had a small smile on her face she turned towards him. "And that's why…" _You're him_, she thought. Instead, she shook her head. "Never mind. I had fun today. I'm still enjoying myself right now."

"Good. It was nice today. Sun was out…nice and hot weather."

She nodded. "I wanted to tell you something. Mm…sorry for the way I've been towards you all this time. You were right. I judged you before I knew who you were. Before, all I saw was Soshi. I hated any other guy who came near me or who was around me."

He studied her. "It's not like I'm innocent. I threw my fair share of insults at you," he said with a lopsided smile. "I guess we're even."

"Does that mean we're officially friends?" She asked brightly, despite the little twinge. A part of her wanted something different…more than a friendship. When he didn't reply, she turned back to face the night scene. "Actually, you've been a really good friend to me already. Thanks."

"It would be inhumane to leave a crying, beaten-up puppy on the road," he said, letting out a smirk when her gaze met his.

"Did I look that pitiful?" Sakura laughed and leaned back, resting her palms on the grass.

"Well, it's definitely not a sight I'd like to see again. I'm no good with tears. One of my pet peeves." He looked down at the grass and began pulling at it absently. Seeing Yuki cry in pain at the end of it all…in the hospital, in her bedroom…remembering how her family and their friends had cried at the funeral. Tears brought back old wounds.

"Why? Because you made so many women cry and the sight of them brings back all the guilt?" She teased.

Sakura didn't know anything about it. _That's how it should stay._ Instead of leaning on her like he wanted to, he merely reached over and pinched her arm.

"Ow."

:::::::::

Sakura placed her head against her pillow and looked up at the ceiling. It had been such a surreal day. Never would she have guessed that time with Syaoran could be so warm and filled with fun. But it had been. And it was more fun than all the dates she had with Soshi combined. Why did life work like that? She still couldn't figure it out; how circumstances had changed how she felt about Syaoran over time.

He was just always there, she recalled. He didn't change a thing about himself; it was just that she saw other parts of him that she never knew about before. In his own way, Syaoran took care of her. She smiled now, thinking back to all those petty arguments and sweet moments she'd had with him for just that one day. What she felt now…it was hard to put into words.

Her thoughts then circled back to those moments where she'd felt just a little bit more special. Even now, recalling that fleeting kiss made her cheeks flush. She could still see it so clearly in her mind; the way his face had gone so close to hers. Her fingers travelled to her bottom lip. She remembered how his lips felt; a little rough, but firm, gentle. His hand too, when he'd held hers on their way to the beach, she could remember how safe she felt when he easily held her hand.

Sakura closed her eyes. He would, she realized, always be special in her life now.

...

Syaoran stared out the window. It was like this every day, even when he was too tired to even think. She was just always there. So his plan was a big bust – the plan about taking her out for the whole day just to get her out of his system. Instead, she was practically rooted in him now. _Thanks Tomoyo_. Thinking about it now, he was painfully realizing that it must have been exactly her plan to make him suffer more.

As long and exhausting as it was, it was incredibly fun. He couldn't remember the last time he had that much fun. More than that, he'd kissed Sakura. But that, he couldn't help. All he wanted to do was touch her or be around her. She stirred him up in a strong way. What she'd just said about his parents and how she'd apologized for the way she'd treated him, he saw just how kind-hearted and caring Sakura really was.

Ahh…what was he going to do now?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Sakura put down her bag on her desk. "Good morning," she greeted.

Syaoran, absorbed completely in the extra pile of work that he'd been given in the last hour, jumped in his seat. Syaoran looked over his shoulder and caught a quick peek of her. "Morning."

"Busy already?" She glanced at his computer screen.

"Yeah. Last night, we got all these calls from Sapporo. Apparently, something went wrong in the delivery and there's panic going on about not getting their orders on time. All I really know is Soshi's got me doing a lot of extra workload today." When that faint scent of flowers wafting in the air again, he couldn't stop himself. He turned in his seat and faced her. He subtly looked her over, the way men easily did without effort. Then he noticed the small bag that kept swinging back and forth in her hands. "What's that?"

"Hmm?" She hadn't realized she was still holding it. "Oh." Embarrassed that she was caught, Sakura absently scratched at the back of her head. "Well…since you paid for all that food the last few times we went out," she brought the bag level to her eyes and patted it. "I…tried cooking and made some food for you."

The rush of pleasure came at him before he could block it out. Knowing her lack of culinary skills, the fact that she'd spent time in the kitchen and prepared something for him suddenly made him happy. He stood up right then and grabbed the bag from her hand. "Is it edible?"

The happy look on her face soured. "Just because I'm no good in the kitchen doesn't mean I would offer you inedible food," she muttered, giving him a shove. "Besides you don't have to eat it if you don't want to. I was merely trying to be a good person," she sniffed, turning her back on him.

"Thanks," he called out from behind as he watched her walk back to her cubicle.

When he sat back down, he bore holes at the white paper bag. Even from where he was sitting, he could smell roasted beef and fried seafood. He couldn't get his mind around it – why she would bother to cook it for him in the first place. He could count in one hand the number of people who actually did things for him to make him happy his entire life. There weren't many. So facing this now, he didn't exactly know how to react. Sakura was…willing to go through all that effort for him, though he'd done nothing to deserve it.

Argh. This was frustrating. He didn't like thinking about his feelings. It was too messy and almost always led him to make very bad decisions. But with how things were going right now, it was hard to ignore it.

Syaoran released a breath as he leaned forward. So he had feelings for her. He was aware of that. They weren't superficial, but all he really knew was that he didn't want to just play around with her. It was more than that at least. The realization brought along a huge sense of dread. The last time he let a woman in, she died.

And suddenly, it was like the rest of him was trying to catch up to his brain. His thoughts were leaping from one idea to another, and within seconds, a worrisome realization sunk in. Sakura would leave too. Of course she would. If he let her in, she would leave just like everybody else who was special to him. _No one_ ever stayed, so why would she be an exception? He straightened up in his seat. _Shit_. _Focus back on your work, Li_, he reminded himself strictly. But even as he stared intensely at the folder in front of him, the words on the front page wouldn't register.

He clutched his forehead. The panic wouldn't go away. Syaoran's gaze shot to the white paper bag again. Dammit. Then, as though feeling trapped, he made a swift and careless decision. He couldn't pursue this. He wouldn't let this – whatever it was between them – develop into anything special. He couldn't afford losing her.

…

At half past noon, Sakura stretched out her arms and her back. Syaoran and the white paper bag were neither in sight. Curiously she pulled away from her desk and got on her feet. Maybe he was eating it right now in the kitchen. Just as she was about to peek, her cell phone rang.

She quickly glanced at the caller ID. "Hey Tomoyo."

"Sakura, I want to eat Chinese food today."

"Oh…" Sakura's gaze shifted to the kitchen.

From where she was, she could see what looked like Syaoran's arm. A part of her was itching to go there and find out what he thought of her cooking, but there was the other part that was afraid of what he had to say. Considering it was her first time even cooking something, a lot of things could have gone, and probably did go, wrong with the taste. Then she began to think up possible insults he could throw at her.

Sakura snapped back to the present. "Okay. I'm coming down now."

With quick and firm steps, she walked to the elevator, purposely ignoring the kitchen from her visual field. Just as she pushed the arrow button, someone took hold of her forearm from behind. She yelped as she felt her body get pulled back at least two meters.

When she regained her footing, she spun around to face Syaoran, who was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "What?" She demanded, touching her elbow absently.

"Where are you going?"

"Tomoyo wants to eat out for lunch." She glanced down, realizing the first button on her blouse had unfastened. Her brows furrowed as she attempted to button it up. "So did you-"

"Don't cook for me again."

She jolted at the tone of his voice. Her head lifted.

"Just…don't do it again."

Syaoran immediately felt the guilt stab at him as the blatant look of hurt flashed on her face.

"It…it wasn't like I was…declaring any feelings for you!" She snapped, embarrassment quickly joining the bruise. "I owed you from before, so that's why I made it. Besides, if it tasted so badly that you felt the need to say that, then you shouldn't even have bothered eating the rest of it! You ingrate!"

Determined to see this through without breaking into a mess, Sakura turned around jerkily and opened the stairwell door. Though there were a good nine floors down before hitting the lobby, she was going to walk it all.

Sakura felt her shoulders shake as soon as she'd gotten down two flights of stairs. How could Syaoran have so much power over her feelings like this? One little comment and it was enough to sorely wound her pride. Sakura fisted her hand. So what, a simple, nice thing to do wasn't allowed anymore?

"Sakura!" Tomoyo greeted as she saw her friend walk out to the main entrance. Her smile died when she caught sight of her friend's face. "What happened?"

"What a bastard! Can't even appreciate a small act of kindness," Sakura cried angrily as she grabbed Tomoyo's arm and pulled her along.

"What? What happened?"

…

Syaoran walked aimlessly back to his cubicle. Her words resonated in his ears. That expression on her face. Why…did he just do that? As he crossed the hallway, he bumped solidly into Soshi. Syaoran looked up and saw the mild approval in his boss' eyes.

"Syaoran, has Sakura been a bother?" Soshi asked in feigned concern.

With a sharp gaze, he replied, "Why?"

"I didn't mean to overhear your conversation, but as your supervisor, I want to ensure everyone feels comfortable at the workplace, so if at any point you believe that she is crossing the line and being unprofessional or doing something that is interfering with your work, don't hesitate to let me know." He patted Syaoran's shoulder then began to walk away.

"She wasn't doing anything like that," Syaoran argued, turning back to stop Soshi. "It was my fault. Don't start assuming because of whatever it is you heard. She didn't do anything wrong." He didn't wait to see Soshi's response and instead marched off towards the opposite direction. Even if he wanted to punch the guy's face out, he had no right to, considering how he was being as big a jerk as Soshi.

When he reached his desk, he stared mindlessly into space. After everything that had happened between them, how could he have done that to her? He bit back a loud groan. Why was this becoming so much more complicated than it should be?

…

When Sakura returned to her desk, she plopped down on her seat. The lunch break had been a nice, therapeutic session with Tomoyo, but now, being in the same room as the jerk that couldn't even show an ounce of gratitude, she felt her anger come back completely and fast. From her visual periphery, she could tell Syaoran was walking around her cubicle and settling right in front of her, his face hovering just above her monitor. She kept her eyes fixated on the keyboard and ignored him perfectly.

Then he leaned against the cubicle wall. It made her blood boil. For a good minute, she was able to withstand the patient, lazy stare he was sending her. Then as her patience snapped, she threw the words at him with a clipped tone. "I'm busy. Leave me alone."

He was unfazed. "Are you still mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"You are."

"I'm_ not_ mad." She repeated with emphasis.

Syaoran inched forward and caught the flare of her nostrils. Yeah, she was still pissed off. "Stop denying it."

"THEN WHY…" She stopped, realizing her voice had gone two octaves higher. "Why bother asking if you already know!" She hissed.

He knew exactly how to push the right buttons. Of course, after all this time, how could she have been so stupid to forget that? With restraint that she had to dig up from all the way inside herself, Sakura spoke again, this time more calmly. "My reaction is perfectly normal. Why wouldn't anyone get mad over that kind of cruel, heartless comment? The least you could've done was show some gratitude, but no, you had to insult me and my cooking, so yes, I'm still very mad."

"I didn't-…I wasn't insulting you."

Frustrated to the point of exhaustion, she leaned back against her seat and threw him a murderous stare. "So what exactly were you doing?"

Syaoran restlessly moved around. Because he did initially want to hurt her, he felt the guilt. It was all because of all that fear and worry and distrust that had built up in a matter of moments during his emotional epiphany. That swift and careless decision that he'd made on the spot was probably the most idiotic one he'd ever made in his adult life. After he saw that look on her face, how hurt and angry she was, it left him feeling ugly and downhearted. It was scary how she could affect him so much.

So he'd sat himself down and really thought everything through. He decided to stop denying it. He liked her in that serious, only-want-you-for-myself way that he had successfully avoided for four years. And as much as it scared the shit out of him, it was foolhardy to push her away and act like there was nothing there. Because just looking at her face made him want to go after her.

Hell, looking at her right now was making him want her even more.

So knowing she was still feeling testy, he chose his words carefully. "First off, I'm sorry. I… only meant, don't go through all that trouble for me again. I don't deserve it. You must've had a rough time too. Cooking takes a lot of time and it can be hard, especially for someone who has no experience in the kitchen." Syaoran straightened up in discomfort. "But thanks…for cooking for me. It was good."

Sakura stared up at him for one more moment, trying to measure his sincerity, before looking away in embarrassment. She had just spent a good a half-hour throwing insults at Syaoran behind his back, and now, those simple words he'd just said easily swayed her heart. Was this how it was to be in love? No, 'in love' was probably too strong a phrase right at this point. With pursed lips, Sakura met his gaze squarely.

"You can't just take everything back like that," she responded hotly, unwilling to soften up her self-control, despite the way her heart did. "It sounded like an insult to me." She added with a miffed tone.

An apologetic smile came out, and as small and hidden as it was, it was genuine. "I'll do whatever you want me to do."

"Make me dinner. If you really didn't mean to insult me, you'll make me dinner," she challenged. "You need to pay me back for all the hard effort I put into making your lunch."

Tomoyo had said not to give up on him, amidst Sakura's angry release of words. She hadn't been planning on doing that anyway…all it was, was just that it hurt to hear that from him. Taking out her anger on Tomoyo had helped, since the woman had laughed and comforted her through it, assuring her that Syaoran was probably just as confused about his own feelings as she was. Though she didn't believe that assumption the moment it was said, Sakura studied him now, wondering if there was some truth in it.

With almost a defeated feeling, Syaoran let his gaze roam her face. Was there really no way he could stop anything now? It didn't seem like it. How had he been so naïve to think that he could push her away so easily when he badly wanted her like this?

"What?" She demanded, though her heart was trembling.

As he looked away, he said, "Don't bring your car tomorrow."

When he walked past her, she released the breath she'd been holding.

:::::::::

Sakura watched as Syaoran walked to the kitchen and came back to his desk with a cup of coffee. He hadn't said a word all day, only some mumbles of greetings. So now that the day was dwindling down, Sakura couldn't help but feel a little doubt at the plan they'd made the night before about dinner. It was hard to be sure when the guy had such awful mood changes. One minute he's easy to talk to, the next he shuns everybody out.

Was there even going to be a dinner tonight? Or was he playing some kind of cruel game, where she would end up having to take the bus home because she didn't drive that morning? The second thought suddenly made her angry. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't. Would he? Realizing how fast her thoughts were spinning to the negative end, Sakura stood and walked directly to his desk.

He looked up over the rim of his cup. "What?"

"Did you cook dinner for me tonight?" She asked, resting her hands on her hips in a sign of agitation. She wasn't going to look pathetic, not now.

He raised a brow and put his cup down. "No."

Her mouth opened in shock. _What?_

He put a hand up. "Before you freak out on me, I haven't made it yet. When I get home I'll cook, obviously."

After a long and sleepless night filled with thoughts of how badly he was going to end up treating her and how awful this possible relationship between them would inevitably come to, Syaoran wasn't in the best of moods. No matter how many times he'd repeated to himself that he wasn't going to let her in, she was getting closer and closer instead. And as much as he wanted to blame it all on her, he had accepted that at least half of the reason why was because he wanted to let her in.

In relief, she raked a hand through her hair. "Fine. When are we having dinner?"

"I won't be done until 7."

She raised a brow at the tone of his voice. "I know." Syaoran rarely finished work at 5 and he was often the last person to leave the office. She wouldn't have known it had Soshi not asked her to wait that one night.

His gaze followed her as she walked back to her cubicle. It was already nearing 5, the time that Sakura usually went home. He could see from the way she kept on looking around, trying to find things to do, that she was done all her work. Despite not understanding why she was willing to wait two hours, he felt absurdly touched by it. Syaoran stood up.

He pulled her arm. "If you knew that, why would you wait that long?" The pulse of her wrist under his hand was going a little faster than normal.

Sakura cautiously met his gaze. "Why not?"

"It's a long time."

"But you said you'd make me dinner," she countered, frowning.

"Oh yeah. You waited for Soshi for hours that one time, I remember. You're pretty loyal, aren't you?" He said as he sat on the edge of her desk.

Syaoran glanced down at her small wrist in his hand. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't seem to let go of her. Instead, his hand slid down to take hers. Her skin was so soft.

Her heart hammered. Afraid she would stutter, Sakura could only shake her head in response to him. The way he was touching her, it made her feel warm, anxious. He never touched her like this before. "If I was willing to wait for Soshi for hours, I'd do more than that for you," she spoke quietly, meeting his eyes again.

"Why?" He demanded, tugging her hand and inadvertently pulling her even closer to him.

"Because," she began, despite not knowing what to say. "You…" She couldn't lie, even if she wanted to. His eyes always seemed to wipe out any thoughts she might have had. "You…obviously mean more to me."

Syaoran straightened from his position, but because he still had some control left, he released her hand. "Let's go."

"Eh? But you're not done. I'm really okay with waiting, Syaoran."

He buried his hands in his pockets and walked away before he could touch her again. "Yeah I know. That's why I'm not going to make you wait two hours for me." Syaoran bent down and gathered his things. "I'm really hungry anyway. Get your stuff ready."

Speechless, Sakura watched as he organized his desk and began turning off his computer. She did the same. He was being unbelievably considerate of her. How had she gone for years being so oblivious to it? When she looked up, he was watching her. Her cheeks flushing, Sakura followed him to the elevator.

...

When she stepped foot into his home, curiosity got the best of her. Sakura started at the living room, walking around the small two-bedroom suite of a high-rise condominium. There was a long, black leather couch in the shape of a square bracket that leaned against the white wall. Across from it was a flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. It was typically male, but surprisingly cleaner than she would have expected. Instead of paintings on the walls, there were photographs, some black and white, others vibrant in color. Sakura smiled. So he appreciated art too. The photographs didn't have any particular similarity between them that she could tell right away.

Off to the side was a built-in fireplace. Above it were two framed pictures. One was a picture of a kind-looking grandpa. She figured this must have been the old man who took care of Syaoran. Her focus shifted to the picture frame sitting next to it. Her heart skipped. In it was a young, beautiful girl, with long brown hair and dark blue eyes. She wore glasses. Her smile was a little reserved. Sakura's gaze travelled to the younger version of Syaoran standing beside her. His hair was a little bit longer and wavier, and he had a boyish smile on his face, with his arm loosely hanging over the girl's shoulder.

"You can put these on." Syaoran walked into the living room with a pair of slippers. He stopped, realizing where she was standing.

Sakura turned. Much to his surprise, she broke into a smile and accepted the slippers. "Thanks."

"Ah…" He glanced at the picture frame she had been looking at. "That's…"

"Yuki, right?" Despite the twinge in her heart, she tried to keep her spirits up. Even if she hadn't experienced having a first love, she knew it was a special thing to have and respected it. It was just strange that he had her picture up here. So he hadn't forgotten her after all this time. "She's beautiful."

Instead of answering her, he took her arm. "Help me with dinner."

Sakura's gaze landed on the marble grey floor and white countertops. The kitchen was very clean and organized. It was indicative of how Syaoran lived; he was a neat kind of guy. He liked to keep things orderly and where they needed to be. She glanced over at his sink and stove and saw no trace of dirt or stains whatsoever. Thinking back to her own apartment made her want to shudder. She needed to clean that place up sometime soon.

"You're shockingly tidy," she remarked with a light laugh. "I didn't really expect anything too far-fetched, but…wow. It's so clean. How can that be possible in a man's house?"

He chuckled, grabbing several bags of vegetables from the fridge. "The families I lived with, they were real strict on house chores and cleanliness. I once had to sleep outside in the garage for not sweeping the floors."

"What? That's awful!"

"Yeah, well. I'm sure they just didn't want me around for family night." He shrugged, nonchalant about the whole situation. "After that and a few more, I learned my lesson. It kind of carried over through time." He took out a bag of shrimp and squid from the freezer. "You like seafood right?"

Sakura nodded, leaning her back against the counter and waiting for him to get all the ingredients sorted out. "You've got a nice home here. It fits your character," she judged as she glanced around the rooms and hallways. "How come you went for a two-bedroom suite? I would have thought one-bedroom would be good enough."

"I use the other one as my office-slash-gaming room." Syaoran flashed her a smirk just before he took a pot and pan out of one cabinet. "Yeah, I'm not complaining. It's a great place. The balcony's pretty awesome too, gives me a good view of the city. I think I could probably see your apartment from here. Check it out if you want."

Immediately excited, Sakura walked to the glass doors at the opposite end of the room and unlocked it. When she stepped out, she could already see the wide view of the city. Syaoran lived in the 22nd floor. Standing just a little bit off from the railing, Sakura appreciated the scenic landscape in front of her. When she studied the tall buildings and the small homes, Sakura tried to recall exactly where her address would be. Through her thorough study of the view, she then found the blue and white apartment. It looked like a tiny thing from where she was.

_So Syaoran can see me from here, _she thought with faint pleasure. It was odd to be connected that way. She wondered if she would be able to see his building from her balcony, though she only lived on the 10th floor.

"Find it?" He asked as soon as she stepped back into the kitchen.

She nodded. "It looks super small from here, but you can still see it. For some reason that makes me happy," Sakura said, smiling.

He caught it, and because he felt his pulse jump at the sight, Syaoran immediately turned back to his cooking. "We should connect two tin cans together with the longest rope we can find then try talking through it. It would work. I bet we'd make the world record by the longest, primitive telephone ever made."

She laughed. "That sounds stupid."

"It could work," he argued with a grin.

When Syaoran finally served dinner an hour after, Sakura sat eagerly in her chair and waited for him to come back to his seat. The food that Syaoran had prepared smelled so delicious, it was hard not to be affected. "You really cooked me dinner," Sakura murmured with genuine pleasure in her voice. When she raised her eyes to meet his, he smiled cockily.

"I'm a damn good cook, so eat slowly and savour, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

She quickly clapped her hands together. "Can we say it together?"

Surprised, Syaoran looked up. With a nod he followed suit, and together they said, "Itadakimasu."

"Thanks for the food, Syaoran. I will really enjoy it!" She said with determination just before grabbing her chopsticks.

He laughed as her eyebrows furrowed and she attacked each prepared dish on the table. It was the first time he'd eaten dinner with someone else in this house. A warm, unknown feeling settled at the base of his heart. It surprisingly felt really good to be able to share it with her.

…

After dinner, Sakura settled against the back of the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. She sipped lightly as she studied one of the photographs on the wall. It looked something related to the world wars. The picture was monochrome and the contrast between light and dark were heavily heightened. She wondered why he'd picked that out in particular. These kinds of things usually said something about the person after all.

Syaoran returned from the kitchen and sat near her. "Good meal. Didn't I tell you, I'm an awesome chef."

"I won't argue with that. Thank you," she repeated, facing him. "It was amazing…probably some of the most delicious cooking I've had."

"High praises for someone who goes out to lunch almost every day," he said lightly, patting her head. "And has no experience in cooking."

"Exactly! Which means it must be true," she responded vehemently. "I'm very appreciative of good food, especially food that is unique to the taste. So you must have been following that old man like crazy when you were in high school, huh? I mean, to learn to prepare so many dishes at once and knowing exactly how much of a seasoning to put in one and in another."

Syaoran shrugged. "I was curious and had nothing else to do. And he liked teaching it to me, so I thought, why not. By the time I was thinking about living on my own, I got pretty serious about it. I figured, I needed to know how to take care of myself and that meant learning how to cook too." He took a drink and put the wineglass down on the coffee table.

Sakura set her own wineglass on the table. Curiosity was biting at her. She pressed her lips for a moment, wondering how to go about bringing it up. The whole night she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it – the picture frame sitting atop the fireplace. Sometime in between dinner and moving into the living room, she had noticed it was gone. Because of that, it poked at her even more.

"Can I…" She glanced up now, a little worried what his reaction might be.

He met her gaze.

"It's probably not my place. Um…" Struggling to find the right words, Sakura shifted in her seat. "About Yuki." She ended up saying it directly. "I'm just…"

"What do you want to know?" He interrupted lightly.

"Do you still… love her?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Not…that way. Not anymore."

"Then why do you have her picture here?"

"Does it bother you?" He asked in turn.

Astonished at the quietness in his voice, Sakura glanced away. So it was a closed-off topic. She couldn't help the sting of pain flittering through her chest.

"I wonder, if I had a first love…would he have been so precious in my life that I would keep a picture of him in my house? I don't mean that in a disrespectful way," she clarified quickly, gesturing with her hands. "I just… really don't know what it's supposed to be like."

After a long, silent pause, Syaoran spoke again. "If you knew you'd never see him again…that there was no chance you'd ever be able to see him again." He stood and leaned against the balcony glass door. "If that was the case, is it easier for you to imagine why I'd have her picture?"

She sat still, unable to speak. It took her some time to absorb in what he'd just said. But as realization struck, Sakura felt her heart constrict. She couldn't push herself off the couch to go to him, though a part of her wanted to go to him right then. "She…"

He looked back at her. Those sad eyes she'd seen a few times before were looking at her now. So this was why. He'd lost everyone in his life, including the one woman he'd loved. Her heart broke even more at the sight. When Syaoran walked over and touched her cheeks, she was surprised to see the wet tears on his fingers.

"Stop crying," he ordered.

"Sorry," she murmured, knowing the words were inadequate and pointless. "I…"

He sat on the edge of the coffee table and positioned himself in front of her. Mystified by the burst of emotions that had come out, Syaoran could only watch her try to regain control on them. Feeling an unmistakeable need to make her tears go away, he grabbed a tissue from the tissue box sitting on the table. As he brought the tissue up to her cheeks, Sakura wrapped her hands around his wrists and stared into those sad brown eyes. Was it normal to feel this much pain for someone else? She had never felt this broken over another person's pain before. Though questions were sitting at the tip of her tongue, she decided to take some of his pain. Without reluctance, Sakura threw her arms around him.

In shock, Syaoran remained still. "Sakura-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

When she pulled back and sat in front of him again, the tears were gone. Glad for it, Syaoran pushed off from the table and walked to the kitchen. This was too hard, being too close to her and having his feelings out there in the open. He never put himself in such a vulnerable position with anybody around. It was frustrating that with Sakura, it was like that wall he'd built around himself all this time seemed weak and easy to break down. It bothered him that she'd cried like that…for him.

When he returned, he pushed a glass of water into her hands. "Four years ago," he supplied. Syaoran took a seat on one end of the couch, a little farther from her now. "She was sick."

Sakura took a sip and held the tissue in her hands. "What kind of person was she, Syaoran?" Her reaction earlier hadn't been what she expected of herself. The tears had come out involuntarily. Her heart truly hurt for him.

"You know a little about her already. She was the first person who made the effort to get to know me. I was really anti-social for a while. She just stuck around. She…she's like you in some ways. Loved the beach. Yuigahama Beach was her favourite place." He let himself remember for a moment. "Ah…I remember, she was in love with one of our senpais at school. He was the good-looking, strong, and smart type." There were days filled with joy, he recalled now, having forgotten it over time. "One time, she actually made me follow him one night so I could find out where he lived."

Sakura smiled wanly. It wasn't hard to picture Syaoran falling in love with someone like that.

"The only thing was…" Syaoran's smile then faded. "Even when she was sick, Yuki wouldn't lean on me. I wanted so badly to take care of her, but…" He rested his head on the top spine of the couch, uncomfortable with the sudden sense of grief filling his chest. "I usually try not to remember. Sorry." With a quiet sigh, Syaoran closed his eyes.

After a long period of silence, he felt soft, warm lips touch his. Syaoran's eyes shot open and stared up, catching sight of water-filled emerald eyes. His heart thudded helplessly. "Why?"

"You looked like you needed it," she offered quietly, feeling her bottom lip tremble. She didn't know what else she could do for him, if only to take away that sorrow for a moment. Before Sakura could walk away, he stood and yanked her into his arms.

"Whatever happens now, I won't stop it," he said, almost as a warning. "I'm really not what you're looking for, Sakura, and I've got too much baggage." Syaoran pulled away slightly. "I'm going to end up hurting you."

She could only shake her head in denial. How was it possible for her heart to feel like it was going to burst right out of her ribcage? Was it really possible to be so happy and sad at the same time? Unable to say a thing for fear that the tears that Syaoran hated to see would come again, Sakura stayed silent, unsure what to say or do.

He looked deep into her eyes, trying to make her understand. "Don't misunderstand this time. I'm not sorry for doing this."

She had no time to respond as he bent down and took her lips forcefully, passionately.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Sakura rushed into the office. She pushed back the urge to curse as she walked out of the elevator, her hair and clothes slightly drenched and her brain in disarray. She hadn't been able to get any rest all weekend. Even when she had tried to close her eyes and forced herself to dream, Syaoran's face hovered. Now, on a rainy Monday morning, she was thirty minutes late, and because of the sudden downpour, she had to run from the roofless parking lot to the building entrance, which was a good two-minute distance away.

"Hey Sakura," her co-workers greeted while sending her amused smirks.

She could only muster up an odd sound of disdain as she trudged to her desk. Just as she put down her bag, she jumped a little at the sight of Syaoran, looking at her with his usual sardonic smile. Before he was about to say a word, she put a hand up.

"This is your fault. You're taking complete responsibility for my being late," she declared, then began to rummage through her drawers for a spare towel or handkerchief or something.

"What did I do?" He walked to her with a handkerchief on hand. "Geez, you weirdo. Did you run all the way from your house?"

"No-" He wiped her face with one stroke, interrupting her words. Then he began dabbing at her shoulders and hair. Her cheeks already burning, Sakura felt her heart tripping like a schoolgirl. "W-what are you doing?"

"You're wet," he said calmly, then as he planted the handkerchief on top of her head, he grinned down at her. "So you couldn't get any sleep last night? Is that why you're saying it's my fault?"

Mortification shot through her. "Yes," she said evenly as she pushed him forcefully away while holding onto his handkerchief tightly.

Sharing her personal space with him in public was very unfamiliar and too uncomfortable. But in the midst of her humiliation, she hoped he understood why she was acting this way. As indescribably happy as it made her to have him take care of her like that, she wished her heart would settle down enough for her to gather her thoughts and respond with clarity. But no matter what she did, she still couldn't think straight when he was around.

Syaoran kept studying her with mild enjoyment. He backed off a little and slid his hands into his pockets.

She warily watched him in return, then said, "I'm…not used to this yet." She then opened up the handkerchief and saw how drenched it had become. Sakura mumbled, "Thank you. As irritated as I was about not getting any sleep, I'm…" She looked up hesitantly. "I…" The words were there, right at the end of her tongue. With an inward sigh, she let it out. "I'm happy. To…see you."

At the confession, Syaoran felt his own face redden. Unable to react properly, he said a little too curtly, "Why do you say those kinds of things then expect me to back off so easily?" He then closed the distance between them and said, "I really couldn't care less how embarrassed you are right now." He then planted a kiss on the top of her wet hair, having no care for the rest of the world. "If you don't want me in your personal space like this, don't say those things to me." With that, he stepped away and went back to his cubicle without another word or glance.

Sakura remained still. She could feel the ends of her hair still dripping. Even her clothes felt heavy and gross. And yet, there was that little spot on the top of her head that felt so warm. Her heart melted just a little. Despite how awful the day had begun, it was starting to turn out nicely after all. _I'm glad I was late today_, she thought with a foolish smile on her face.

…

When lunch break came around, it was the first time since she'd arrived that both of them had a chance to finally talk. Times were getting busy and work was piling up, and it became a little more difficult to find time here and there just to socialize with anyone. Sakura pushed off from her desk, in a better mood now after that wet morning. Syaoran spun her chair around until their eyes met.

"You going out for lunch with Tomoyo today?" He asked, sitting back casually against the edge of her desk as he was so accustomed to doing.

She shrugged her shoulders while admiring him. This was the first day they were officially a couple and it was a little more than she could take in. It still surprised her how things could turn out this way, but her feelings had grown and changed in the course of this period without choice. Staring up at him now, she felt completely and utterly attracted.

He poked her forehead. "Why do you keep staring at me like I have two heads?"

Sakura smiled. "I'm just admiring your face. It took me a while to notice, but you're really attractive, Syaoran."

"Sakura…" he began, knowing his weaknesses and already having a hard time stopping himself. It was that much harder when she goaded him on like this.

"Sorry," she laughed and began protesting when he pulled her up on her feet and started pulling her close to him. She straightened out her arms and stuck her hands on his chest. "Stop it," she insisted though unable to force back her laughter when he looked so beaten up about it. When he finally gave in and let her move away, she asked, "Did you want to eat lunch together?"

He sent her an exasperated look. "You're really slow."

"Well, I don't know!" She snapped back. "This is the first day out that… we're… you know!"

"We're what? I'm really curious to hear you describe what it is that we are."

"Why do you like tormenting me so much? Will this never stop?"

He shook his head in response. "Now come on. I really will kiss you in front of everybody here if you don't finish that sentence."

Paling at the idea, she quickly said, "Dating. We're dating…right?"

Syaoran laughed. When she sent him a deadly look, he sobered a little. "I thought you'd say, 'this is the first day we're a couple.' Dating sounds too casual." Unable to stop himself, he got up and moved close enough that he could almost kiss her cheek, but she shifted away quickly. "Why are you so shy about this?"

"Because! You never used to…to even touch me and now you just want to kiss me whenever you can," she replied indignantly, feeling a flutter of pleasure in her stomach.

"I am a man, you know," he reminded lightly. "Just because I never touched you before doesn't mean I didn't want to." With that, he took her hand and pulled her along with him. "You up for Greek? I'm craving it badly."

Giving up, Sakura tried to match her walking pace to his as her hand curled in his. When they were out of the elevator, she asked, "are we taking your car?"

"Yeah. Starting tomorrow we're carpooling. I'll pick you up from your house."

"What? But you get off at 7."

"Yeah I thought about it. I guess I don't need to do overtime anymore. When I plan to stay late, I'll tell you beforehand," he said as they walked into the parking lot. It was a good thing the rain had momentarily stopped, as neither of them thought to bring an umbrella that day. "Besides, this is the prime opportunity to improve your culinary skills, Kinomoto. I get excessively hungry after work."

Sakura opened the car door on the passenger's side then put on her seatbelt. "You really want to see me at my worst."

"I liked the food you cooked for me before," he argued as he changed the gear to Drive. "But it's your turn to suffer."

She slapped his arm strong enough to make a loud sound. "Is this how you treat the women you date?"

"No. Only you."

Sakura secretly stole a glance as he drove out of the parking lot. A warm feeling coursed through her. She held her hands together as she bit back the urge to reach over and touch his hair. The fact that they were together now felt so undeniably strange yet familiar at the same time.

What it felt like to be his…she couldn't explain. But for the moment, it was pure bliss.

::::::::::

Sakura wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she cut the onions into long, thin slices. While enduring the stinging pain at the backs of her eyes, she muttered a curse under her breath. Why she was stuck with making dinner for them on this wonderfully warm and dry Friday night, she didn't know. They'd argued about it for a while; she wanted to go out for dinner, willing to pay for it all too, but he refused several times and demanded, not requested, that she cook him dinner. It had come down to a rock-paper-scissors contest, one in which she'd lost. And now, she was standing in her kitchen, making two new dishes for the very first time, while he, her lazy boyfriend of two and a half weeks, was watching her from the dining table.

"Don't cry," Syaoran spoke up. "You lost, fair and square."

Without looking at him, she called out, "Why are you so persistent about making me cook? I don't even like the food I make, so how can you?"

"There's something gratifying about having someone put a lot of effort to cook for you." He got on his feet and walked around the counter to stand right behind her. "Besides…you look really good in the kitchen."

Her heart tripped. "Syaoran, move back," she warned.

"No." He snaked his arms around her waist and bent down. Before she could elbow his stomach, he planted a small kiss on the nape of her neck. He'd been staring at that spot for over half an hour and finally couldn't resist.

She sighed quietly. It was getting harder to push him away, especially now that she found herself always looking for him too. When he glanced over her shoulder at the array of vegetables she'd cut up, he reached over and grabbed a piece of carrot from the pile.

He moved around her and leaned the side of his body against the counter. "Why are you sniffling?" He asked with a chuckle.

She frowned. "The onions. I'm sensitive."

"Poor baby." He wiped the trace on her right cheek.

Sakura moved the onions onto a small bowl then pushed Syaoran slightly out of the way to grab hold of the thawing chicken. "What do I get in return?"

"For cooking me dinner?" He pretended to think for a moment. "I guess I could do whatever you want to do tomorrow."

She smiled at that, her eyes brightening. "Really?"

"But be sensible. You don't want me around when I'm irritated and impatient," Syaoran said quickly to cover his bases. As much as he wanted to make her happy, there were limits in what he was willing to do in order to make that happen.

"I want to go shopping. I have a few things I want to buy…like…"

"I hate shopping."

"Well, that's just too bad." Sakura walked over to the stove and checked on the soup that had already been simmering for twenty minutes. When she walked back to where he was standing, she smiled shrewdly. "You're making me cook dinner on a Friday night…something I've never done in the 26 years I've been alive…so you'll do whatever I want tomorrow."

Amused by it, he grabbed her again. "Kiss me and I'll do it."

She stared him down. "I don't have to do anything."

When he continued staring without saying a word, she couldn't resist and pushed off her toes just so she could reach him. A smile broke out on his face just before her lips landed on his. Their eyes closed simultaneously, as their lips rubbed in a slow and gentle way. During these moments, it was like the rest of the world disappeared and there was only the two of them. Their hearts beat in unison, at a pace slightly faster than usual.

He flicked her bangs playfully. "I like you kissing me."

She reddened, pushing him back again. "Go away and let me finish cooking."

He laughed, knowing her too well. He considered that he would probably never get tired of teasing her, simply for the fact that she became that much cuter when embarrassed.

Now alone in the kitchen, she was reminded of the last time a man had stepped foot in her house. Soshi, she recalled, had made fun of her choice of color on the walls and found her interests unique and trivial, belittling them. It was a little traumatizing, she had to admit. Squeezing her lips together, Sakura glanced over her shoulder at Syaoran, who was reading a magazine at the dining table.

"Syaoran."

He grunted in response.

"What do you think of my place?"

Syaoran glanced up, surveyed the room, took note of the enlarged pictures on the walls, and looked back at her. "I like it. The pictures you hung up are incredible. It kind of makes me appreciate the world a little more…how beautiful it can be, I mean. Your place is nice and small, but big enough for two people, so I have no complaints."

She threw him a contented smile. "I'm glad you think so. What about my choice of wall colour?"

"Eh? Wall colour?" He took note of the mustard yellow shade in the living room. "Huh. I don't know, I've never noticed wall colours before. It makes your place feel homely, I guess. Why?"

Sakura shook her head as gratitude filled with her. "Just asking. But you better be thankful that I'm putting 120% effort into this meal," she reminded and sent him a pleased smile over her shoulder.

He caught it. "I'm very grateful, babycakes."

"…Where did you learn that nickname from?"

The disbelief in her voice made him laugh. She'd stopped doing whatever she was doing and stared openly back at him. "I heard it from this movie once. It sounded so corny I wanted to say it to someone. Don't you feel special that you're the first and only person ever to hear that nickname from me?"

She hadn't known how charming he truly was until now. Sakura's snort came out before she could stop it. "I don't think I'll be surprised to hear you pull out a few more odd nicknames out of your butt for a while."

"Yeah…I've collected a lot over twenty-six years." He flipped a page. "I'll let a couple slip here and there. If you really like me, you'll keep count."

"Fine. I'll write it all in a journal."

Amused, he glanced back up at her. "Really?"

Her devious smile was hidden from him. "I'll do it so long as I get to call you Charming. As in my own Prince Charming."

"Shit."

Sakura threw her head back in laughter.

…

About an hour or two after dinner, Sakura suggested taking a walk along her neighbourhood. Syaoran agreed, wanting to spend more time with her before heading home. It had been a long dinner and considering it was Sakura's first time cooking those dishes, the flavours had been a little bland. Still, the fact that she'd gone through all that work for him tugged strongly at his heart.

As they crossed the street, she moved closer and held onto his arm instinctively. "Want to play a game?"

"Do I have a choice?" She elbowed him hard. "I would_ love_ to," he corrected himself.

"You tell me one of your favourites then I'll tell you mine. It can be any kind of favourite and I have to guess what kind it is by replying with what mine would be. Do you get it?"

"Ah…wait, so after I first tell you my favourite, say, instrument, then you tell me yours? And after that, you start with something else you like?"

"Exactly. You go first."

Out of all the women he'd been with, this was the first time he felt young again, indulging in something that was unquestionably sweet and innocent because of her. "Ah…let's go with something easy. Summer."

"That's too easy, Charming. Spring."

"Don't be unfair. I didn't call you a corny nickname," he quickly argued, earning another hard slap on the arm. "Fine. Let me guess, because of the sakura trees?" He asked good-naturedly, glancing down at her.

She met his gaze. "You're a smart one, Li." She angled her head in thought. "Hmm...oh I know, waves at the beach."

Syaoran thought for a moment. "I'm sort of going on a limb here, since that sounds really ambiguous. The sizzling of food when it's being cooked?"

"Yeah!" She cheered happily. "We're making a nice connection."

"Hmm…let's see, exercise."

"Pfft, that's not challenging. It's obvious how much you love to work out on your free time."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" He asked absently.

"For me, it's a tossup between watching romantic comedy movies and reading romance novels." When he laughed wryly, she scowled. "What? I'm a woman. We love seeing romance happen between two people. It's sweet."

He led her to a park bench by a flower bed. As they sat down, he studied it. It was filled with different kinds of flowers planted in a unique pattern. It was a nice and warm night too. The stars were out, which made it all the more romantic. With other women, he never used to notice these things. Why they mattered when it came to Sakura, he didn't know.

Sakura remained quiet for some time. When she felt his eyes on her, Sakura's gaze lifted. "My mom loved tulips. I remember my dad always buying different coloured tulips every Sunday. She really liked having flowers at the center of the dining table." Sakura felt warmth settle in her heart.

"Do you take after her?"

Sakura nodded, smiling. "My dad used to find it hard to look at me because it reminded him too much of her. I guess… it was just her time. It's hard to think about that part of her life. You know, the part about it ending so suddenly. I don't know, for me, I felt like I was lucky to be really young when it happened. Not really understanding it and not really feeling the pain in the same way that my dad or brother did." Sakura looked at him. "Or you."

Syaoran studied the flowers. "Yeah, worst feeling in the world."

Encouraging him a little, she murmured, "Tell me."

He shrugged. "It's like…you have no choice in the whole thing. You're left behind and you can't change it. Time can't rewind. You know how when you mess up or make a mistake, you immediately start thinking up ways to fix it or figure out how to get out of it?"

Sakura nodded. "Mm…like at work."

"Yeah exactly. But when someone important to you dies… you can't do _anything_ about it."

She could see how hard it was for him to even let those words out. In comfort and support, she took his hand.

"You know, I wish I was over it. I really wish I was," he repeated. He then looked over at her, caught the sympathy and understanding in her eyes. Because thinking of Yuki always seemed to ruin his mood, Syaoran looked away. He didn't have to see Sakura's face to know this was hurting her. "It would have been better if I didn't have this kind of past, right?"

The question, she knew, wasn't so much as directed to her as it was towards himself. Instead, she shook her head, almost comprehending the degree to which Syaoran had loved this girl. "Don't regret," she murmured, though there was something inside her heart that felt hollow. "Part of the reason why you're the Syaoran I know is because of her, so…don't regret."

:::::::::

Syaoran glanced around the heavily packed mall and already felt a wave of irritation come over him. He hated crowds. The thought of having people constantly barge in on his personal space annoyed him. He helplessly looked for the store Sakura had said she was in. Two hours already passed since they arrived. She already knew which stores to go to, while he disliked the idea of following after her like a dog. She had been more than agreeable to let him go off on his own. Now it was time to meet for a late lunch and she still wasn't ready.

"Come find me. I'm still trying on a pair of shoes," she said on the phone.

"How long are you going to take?"

"Fifteen minutes? I'm trying on something. Just come!" With that, she hung up the phone and left him staring at his in disbelief.

He had some inkling that this woman loved shopping. He just didn't realize how much. This shouldn't have been a surprise, but as he walked around the mall, he felt annoyance build up again. He really hated shopping.

Finally, though, he found the shoe store. It was big, filled with women on one side, men on the other. He scratched at his head absently as his gaze swept the room then landed on the woman wearing the light blue dress. She was standing in front of the mirror, walking back and forth in indecision.

He sat on the couch and waited until she turned around.

"Hi." Her gaze travelled to his empty hands. "You didn't buy anything?"

He shook his head. "I didn't find anything I liked…while you, on the other hand," he glanced down at the bags surrounding him on the couch, "must have."

"I don't go shopping all the time, so it's fine," she defended then pointed down to her shoes. "What do you think of these?"

They were a pair of dark blue pumps, with a small black bow sitting at the front of the shoe. He really couldn't tell if they were a good-looking pair of shoes. He didn't know anything about women's fashion or shoes and he couldn't have cared less. Syaoran shrugged. "Your legs look great with them on."

Sakura reddened almost immediately.

He smirked again. She got embarrassed too easily, it was so damn adorable. "Aren't you hungry? Let's get something to eat."

"I am hungry actually." She moved the bags and sat beside him on the couch.

"Are you doing okay here?" The saleslady asked, walking over to them.

Sakura glanced up and caught the wide-eyed look on the woman's face as she gaped at Syaoran. Clearing her throat, Sakura replied, "I'm fine, thanks. I'll think about these." She put the shoes back in the box as she looked over at Syaoran, who was watching her with mild interest.

"Oh. Okay, then." The saleslady took her time taking the box from Sakura's hands.

She waited until the woman left. Then she turned to Syaoran, a little miffed. He looked back at her with question. It wasn't his fault; she thought a little bitterly, that he was just so gorgeous in that rugged way of his. He just exuded good looks and confidence that could make any woman bat their eyelashes at him. With some displeasure, she gave out a loud sigh and stood up.

Meanwhile, Syaoran was too hungry to notice. Instead he stood and took some of her bags.

"I'll hold them," she objected, reaching over for the bags he was carrying.

He pulled back. "No. Give me those." He gestured to the bags she did carry.

"I bought these. Let me at least carry some." With that, she turned and walked out of the store.

Syaoran walked in step beside her, glancing down at the bags every few seconds. He contemplated on leaving the bags in the car so that he wouldn't have to bring them along after lunch. He knew Sakura wasn't done shopping. "I think I'll leave these in the car."

Sakura turned and looked up at him warily. "Why?"

He sent her a look. "So you can buy more stuff after lunch. I know you're not done shopping."

She continued staring at him, suddenly feeling guilty for being angry in the first place. "You don't mind walking all the way back to the parking lot?"

He freed up his left hand and reached over for the bags she was holding. "Don't worry about it. Just wait for me here."

"I was mad for a second," she announced, interrupting him.

"What?" He blinked. "Why?"

"I… shouldn't have been, since you didn't do anything wrong. Sorry," she added sheepishly. "It was just that saleslady. She kept staring at you like she wanted to eat you up."

A grin then popped onto his face. "Oh really? Which one?"

"Syaoran…!"

"I'm kidding," he interjected, catching her chin and angling her face up. "You were jealous, weren't you?"

"No." When he kept laughing, she scrunched up her nose. "Okay whatever. I don't care. Take these bags, Charming."

At the nickname, he winced.

…

Syaoran walked out of the elevator with six bags in hand. It was nearing 10 o'clock and his whole body felt spent. He was already feeling ready to get some shut-eye. With the alertness of a drunken man, he walked the rest of the hallway to Sakura's apartment door and turned the knob with difficulty. He wondered if she bought something from each store in the mall, considering he'd carried up more than twelve bags _at least _up to her apartment.

"They're all here," he called out with irritation as he dropped them on her living room floor.

He didn't even bother waiting for her reply as he sank down on her couch and closed his eyes for a moment. How could he have known that making her cook a Friday night dinner would lead to a twelve-hour punishment in the mall? Sakura was so damn brutal, he thought sleepily. Just as his head hit the back of the couch, he began dreaming.

Five minutes later, Sakura came out of the bathroom after having washed up. She walked back to the living room, bent down and looked through the endless clothes, shoes, bag, and a few other accessories that she had bought. Then her gaze rested on the exhausted, beautiful man who was completely knocked out. Her heart melted a little.

Sakura touched his hair tentatively, not wanting to wake him up. She bit her lip in hesitation then went with it anyway. She bent down and planted a peck on his cheek. "I tired you out, didn't I?" She murmured without any sympathy.

His left eye opened slightly to catch the sly smile on her face. "I didn't know just how cruel you are."

"I don't care. You made me cook dinner last night," she countered before turning back to the shopping bags.

"Oh you don't get to escape that easily." He pulled her back and she fell on his lap. Before she could argue, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and used her as his own personal pillow. Burying his face in her neck, he closed his eyes again. "You smell nice."

After several efforts to get out of his fierce hold and failing entirely, Sakura gave in. Despite how her heart was bumping delicately, she managed to say calmly, "For goodness' sake, Syaoran, you-…we…can't sleep like this."

"So what."

"Why don't you let me go and you can sleep properly on the couch for the night?"

"Who cares how uncomfortable you are? I'm feeling pretty good where I am," he replied with a lazy smile. "Stop arguing and let me sleep, honey bunch."

She burst out in laughter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It was Wednesday afternoon and despite the fact that August was almost over, sweltering heat still filled most days. Sakura stood by the printer, tapping her finger against the tabletop in a sign of impatience. She could feel her sweat rolling down her back. What was taking the printer so long to spew out three pages? Her eyes narrowed as she studied the small screen. It didn't say 'error.' She pulled out the paper tray. It was full of paper. What the hell was the problem?

"You look like you're about to kill someone." Mina said in sympathy as she walked over to Sakura. "The printer's not working again?"

Sakura sighed as she stepped back and let Mina fiddle with it. "No. I don't know why it's not working."

"You broke it, didn't you, pumpkin muffin?"

Sakura turned at the nickname. "I didn't do anything." When Syaoran kept grinning, she shoved him aside. "I didn't," she insisted.

"So you two," Mina began, glancing over her shoulder. "You were into each other this whole time, weren't you? We all knew it!" Both of them stared back at her blankly. "Yeah, we were practically betting on when you'd get together. It's obvious, the way you look at each other when the other isn't looking. And come on, we all know all that arguing and teasing was all because of the attraction." Mina grinned when Syaoran and Sakura studied each other. "Am I right or am I right?"

Sakura shook her head swiftly. "No, I hated him. I would never have noticed him if he hadn't started treating me nicely."

"Stop denying it. You obviously wanted me since you met me," he chided, putting an arm around her waist even as she resisted. "You're blushing because Mina's right."

"You guys are so cute. In any case, I'm just happy for you two. I know things with Soshi didn't work out. I was really hoping you'd find someone and you did, Sakura." She smiled and patted the printer. "This should work now. Oh shoot, I have to go to a meeting! Take it easy on each other, okay lovebirds?"

When she was out of sight, Sakura pushed him off of her and walked to the printer and pressed a few buttons. "This better work," she muttered. "I've been standing here for twenty minutes. I'm all out of patience."

"You're not patient to begin with," he reminded as he walked over to her. "So you're…completely over Soshi, right?"

Dumbfounded by the question, she could only look up.

"What?" He asked innocently.

She studied the printer screen again. "Of course I'm over him. As a boyfriend, he was a heartless bastard. Why do you even have to ask that? _You_ would know out of anybody here." Finally the papers came out of the printer. "Yes! It's working." She took them out and began walking back to their cubicle. When she got to her desk, she turned and bumped her head on Syaoran's chest. "Stop following me."

"Do I have a choice? I sit beside you."

"Well…" She moved away so he could pass. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You liked me first didn't you?"

"You wish." Realizing where her mind was at, he grinned. "You were blushing pretty badly."

"Because I was embarrassed," she interrupted hotly. "Not because I agreed with her. Besides. You liked me first." She stuck out her tongue immaturely and sat on her seat.

Caught off guard at the cute act, Syaoran continued staring at her, even as she turned her back towards him. When she glanced over her shoulder to check his reaction, she jumped back as he stole a kiss from her. "W-what are you doing?" She cried, pushing him away. "We're at work!"

"Stop acting so cute then." He replied calmly before turning back to his own desk.

:::::::::

Syaoran relaxed on the bench. He couldn't remember ever spending half of the day in a mountain park waiting for the sunset, but Sakura had requested it and he couldn't say no. It was funny how a lot of things she asked from him, he was always willing to give to her. Probably because everything he asked, she always seemed to find a way to fulfill it too. He wondered if she knew how much she meant to him. He wasn't sure if he showed it enough. It was certainly a different experience altogether to be more than just another friend.

He turned and caught the way Sakura's eyelids just about fell. "Sleeping on me?" He declared loudly.

She jumped, woke up immediately, and straightened. "Huh? No."

"You're already dreaming." He gave off an exaggerated sigh, as though offended. "You made me hang out for 6 hours with mosquitoes just so you could sleep on me when the sun's done setting?"

Sakura smacked his arm.

"Did you at least get to see the sunset?"

"I did," she retorted. "It's not like I fell asleep anyway. Your loud voice woke me up before I could start dreaming."

"That's okay. You can sleep if you want," he relented as he put an arm over her.

"You're so weird." She moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. "Considering it's our 1-month anniversary…why don't you tell me when you started liking me?"

"…Pass."

"Just answer it."

"You answer first."

Sakura shook her head briefly in incredulity. "You better give me the full-on, complete, honest, detailed answer after." He just hummed in response. She elbowed his rib in mild annoyance. So typical of a man.

"Well…for me…the moment you took care of the blisters on my ankles, I think I got a little mesmerized. I thought I figured you out already before that. You know, just some jerk who finds it amusing to hurt other people. Then you took care of me the way I was hoping Soshi would. It was like a slap in the face. A much-needed slap. I was thinking about it last night. That was the probably the moment I…began to look at you in a different way? I guess?"

"You want me to kiss you?"

She laughed and turned to face him. "I'm just telling the truth. Now you go. Remember what I said."

"But I'm a man," he protested. "It's hard to talk about feelings out loud."

"I don't care. Come on! It's not that hard. Just tell me when you started…seeing me differently. Like, you must've thought of me as some annoying co-worker who's too idealistic, right? That's why you liked teasing me any chance you got."

He angled his head. "At first it was like that, but I'll let you in on a little secret. Men tease women; boys tease girls; because we find them some aspect of them cute. That's really the reason why. Let's see, I found you the most annoying when all I kept thinking about was you. It was really frustrating."

"How about when you first met me?"

"When we first met, I definitely thought you were too idealistic. You still are," he said with a shrug. "That's who you are." Syaoran studied her face, noting the anticipation in her eyes. "If we're doing the truth game then fine, since I saw you that first time, I was attracted," he dragged out. "But your attitude was totally off," he quickly added before she could say anything. "You hated me from the moment we met and you were so obsessed with Soshi. You used to smile like an idiot when he was around."

Regretting how immature she had been then, Sakura winced. "I remember that time. Sorry."

"It didn't really bother me. It was fun teasing you. Still is." He laughed when her frown became a pout. "Just think of it as my way of showing my appreciation for you."

Sakura let out a sound of displeasure.

For a moment he became silent, then said, "Actually… I'm glad. About how things turned out, I mean." Their eyes met and they could tell exactly how the other was feeling. She smiled when he pushed back a stray hand of hair from her face. "I don't even know how it happened. You mean a lot to me, you know that?"

The tears slowly pooled in her eyes.

He shot up in concern. "Don't cry. I didn't say those things to make you cry."

"Some tears aren't out of sadness." She began wiping them away. Why even now little things like this still reminded him of Yuki? "I'm happy right now. I'm really happy, so let me cry."

She'd become so important to him in a matter of months that it was almost scary to think of what it would be like if he was left alone again. "What would I do without you?" He asked quietly to himself.

"I'll always be here, Syaoran," she murmured, hearing the question. "I'll be here as long as you need me."

The words, as much as he wanted to be comforted of it, made him sad. It only reminded him of the one fact that he'd purposefully ignored since they began their relationship. The insecurity, the fear never left him, no matter how great everything seemed to be going. Becoming more and more serious now with her, he was reminded yet again. His whole life, nobody ever stayed. Something would always come up and he knew that more than anyone.

::::::::

Sakura walked across the street to reach Tomoyo's house. It was odd that she found a place in the suburbs, an area known for its family neighbourhoods. As far as Sakura knew, her best friend was 25, single, and wasn't in any particular hurry to get married and have babies.

Just as she stepped onto Tomoyo's porch, the door opened. Sakura glanced up. "Oh hello friend. I want to make fruit smoothies. Come with me." Tomoyo took her arm and pulled her along to the nearest produce store. "If you came one minute too late, you would've had to wait. I'm glad you came just in time."

"Was this a sudden decision of yours, to make fruit smoothies?" Sakura asked mildly.

"Yes. I was watching a commercial about it just now, while I was waiting for you. I started really craving it. So I have a favour to ask. Eriol wants to take me to Disneyland. I…obviously don't want to go alone with him. I can't even imagine what he might try to say or do if we go by ourselves. So, be our chaperone? I'll pay for your ticket." Sakura began to shake her head when Tomoyo stopped her. "I'm really not ready for anything serious with him again. Please, do me this one big favour!"

While she wanted to decline, Tomoyo looked at her pleadingly. "I...guess I can go," she answered slowly. "I can't say I'm excited about it, but…fine. I'll do it."

"I love you!" Tomoyo hugged her tightly. "So now that that's out of the way, how goes things with Prince Syaoran?"

At the nickname, Sakura chuckled. "He would really hate me if I said that to him. Maybe I'll slip it in once in a while. I don't know. I'm really happy. I still find it funny how everything worked out like that. The things that you expect to happen, don't. Then when you least expect something to happen, it comes straight at you." Her heart took a quick jump. "Not once in my wildest dreams did I expect to lov-…like…Syaoran this much." The word meant too much and she was determined not to ruin anything in their relationship. Calling this 'love' between them was too fast, too unreal.

Tomoyo studied her friend's face for a moment. It wasn't just in the words; she could see the happiness in Sakura's eyes. "I'm happy for you. See, what did I say? You have to give these things a try. If you hadn't, you would've missed out on him completely. So how is he as a boyfriend? Totally different from that man you used to hate?"

Sakura shook her head, still smiling. "The funny thing is… there are times when he still doesn't stop teasing me and he's still so sarcastic. I'm so used to that side of him that I'm beginning to think it's one of his charms. Then there are these moments when he's…so sweet and needy. I never thought he would be like that, but it makes me feel special when he acts that way."

"Like how?" Tomoyo asked, already caught up in their love story.

"Mm…out of nowhere, he'll kiss me or hug me. Because I say something stupid or do something silly." Sakura's face flushed. "Yeah, I…"

"You're falling for him."

"Sometimes when I just look at him, I feel like I am," she admitted, almost to herself. "Though I've never fallen in love before, so I wouldn't know if this is really it. For him, I don't think he's ready for it yet. He's fallen in love before and…it didn't work out," She murmured the last words.

"He's had a first love, I assume. Most men do. Why? Don't tell me, he's not over her?" Tomoyo demanded.

"Well, no, not exactly. Those aren't the right words. It's more like…" Sakura found it difficult to explain. "I think he wants to, but he can't. She died, Tomoyo. I can't find the courage to bring her up. The last time he opened up to me about her, he looked like he was about to fall apart. He looked so devastated. It's like, thinking about her or remembering her still hurts him so much. I understand, or at least, I'm trying my best to," she continued.

"I never thought he would have that convoluted a love life," Tomoyo commented. "It must have been really hard on him, trying to move on. I wonder if he ever got any closure..."

"He did say that he confessed and she didn't feel the same way. But when he told me a little of their memories together, I don't know, I have a feeling Yuki loved him that way…just that she didn't want to tell him. Maybe I'm being paranoid."

Tomoyo rubbed her arm in sympathy. "And he doesn't talk about her, right?"

"Mm…it's more like he never brings up the topic himself." With hesitation, Sakura said the words she herself dreaded to hear. "He really loved her, I can tell."

"And you're worried he won't be able to commit to you completely because of it."

"Maybe. I don't know. I feel…I feel this insecurity and-and selfishness. Do you know what I mean? Like I want all of him." With a rueful laugh, Sakura glanced up at her friend. "There's a part of him that will always be Yuki's. Do you think it's selfish of me to want it all?"

"I think you love him, sweetheart," Tomoyo offered. "The more you fall for someone, the more you want to know their life story. It's life. It's not wrong or selfish, honey." In comfort, she placed her arm over Sakura's shoulders. "It's just how the heart works."

::::::::

At the end of her shift, Sakura let out a big, unattractive yawn. She glanced out the window and took note of the dreary sky. She had a bad feeling it was going to be pouring rain on the day that she had to play chaperone to Eriol and Tomoyo's Disneyland date. Reminded of it, she stood and walked over to her seatmate's cubicle. Syaoran was playing a game of solitaire on the computer. She rolled her eyes and gave the back of his head a smack.

He turned swiftly, a hard scowl on his face. "I'm really close to winning. Give me a second."

As the girlfriend, she stepped aside, crossed her arms in front of her, and watched him play out the rest of the game. Her brows furrowed when he began clicking useless cards and ended up losing the game. A little ashamed that she had let him play it out, she pressed her lips together and cleared her throat when a pop-up claiming that he had lost the game flashed on the screen.

"You're such a loser," she muttered. "Take me home."

He tsked under his breath and stood up unwillingly. He gave off his own tired yawn while asking, "So where are we eating dinner?"

"I don't feel like cooking."

"Me neither."

They continued staring at each other, willing the other to give in and admit defeat. When the staring contest continued for another minute, Sakura let out a loud groan and waved her fists in the air in frustration. "I don't want to cook!" She complained, sending him a fierce pout. "I actually want to eat delicious food tonight. Don't be evil."

Syaoran studied the cute act with pleasure, but still felt reluctant to concede. Then raised his hands and said, "Fine. I'll make dinner, so long as you do something to entertain me the entire time I'm in the kitchen." He thought up an idea then clapped his hands once. "Talent show."

"Where do you get these ridiculous ideas?" She interrupted, glaring as they walked to the elevator.

"You have to sing and dance to any song that I demand while I make us some highly unique Italian-Japanese dishes." When her eyes widened in interest, he grinned. "That's right, pookie bear. Some of my secret, special recipes. I'll whip them out if you do the talent show."

"Fine. I don't get why you'd be entertained listening to this voice and watching this," she gestured to the length of her body, "dance like a clown for hours."

He laughed, closing the distance between them while the elevator carried them to the lobby. He played with the ends of her jacket. "The fact that this is all mine to watch is enough entertainment."

Before she shoved him back, she let him kiss her. "Syaoran, I'm really hungry. With what I'm about to do for you, this better be the best dinner I'll ever eat in my life."

…

Sakura stared at her reflection in his bedroom mirror with a dejected expression. On the way to his building lobby, she had practically taken a nosedive at a wonderfully deep puddle in the front yard because of the damn black pumps that slid around everywhere. Because Syaoran was so occupied in what she was going to be performing for him, he'd walked ahead. She remembered what Tomoyo had once said to her. It went along the lines of, the longer a couple stayed together, the faster the romance and sweetness dissipated.

That wasn't exactly true though, she thought to herself. Syaoran was still considerate when he wasn't thinking up ways to embarrass or tease her. She couldn't get her mind around the reason why it amused him so much to see her get embarrassed. He'd tried explaining it to her once, but she had stopped him before he went on and on. It made no sense.

"I guess this will have to work," she murmured, negligently touching the bottom of the long, blue shirt Syaoran had lent her. It looked like a dress on her. His sweatpants were too big and had to be tightened excessively to stay up on her waist. She then reached down and gathered her wet, mud-covered office clothing in dismay. "This is what you get for buying such bad shoes. You didn't learn your lesson, did you Sakura?" She lectured herself.

She stepped out carefully from his bedroom and walked to the kitchen.

He glanced over idly then did a double take. "Why do you look like a kid in my clothes?" He managed to say despite the way his voice had gone a little rough. When he'd started believing Sakura couldn't look more cute or beautiful, she proved him wrong completely. To see her in his own clothes did something to him.

Her face became a tomato. "Don't you have smaller clothing?" Not knowing what to do with her hands, she touched the strays of hair by her neck.

He kept staring at her in wonder. "I think this is the first time I've seen you with a ponytail. Is this how you looked back in high school?"

"Stop looking at me like I'm a specimen," she muttered. "When I was in high school, I had my hair cut really short; up to the neck, like this," she gestured.

"Like a mushroom?"

"Sort of, but prettier. Anyway, what do I do with my wet clothes? Should I just leave them in your bathroom to dry for now?"

"Yeah, grab some of my hangers from the closet."

With that, she quickly walked back to his bedroom and opened the door to his rather nice walk-in closet. She walked in and stood in one spot, biting back a moan of jealousy. How nice would it be to have as big a walk-in closet as this and have enough room to place all her shoes neatly so she could see them all? She thought back to the disorganized and endless piles of shoeboxes sitting at the bottom of her own closet.

She rummaged through his clothes and couldn't find a free hanger. At that moment, she looked up and caught three hanging at the very end of the line of slacks. Was this all planned, she began to wonder of Syaoran. He knew she was short. He _knew_ she couldn't reach that far into his closet. After letting out a loud sigh, she climbed up the side drawers carefully.

"Oh my God don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall," she muttered as she extended her right arm as far as they would go. Her hand grasped one. She let out a small cry of victory then viciously threw the hanger on the ground. Eventually she managed to grab all three, throwing the other two down just as viciously. Not the smartest move, as one bounced and fell right against the back of the closet. She couldn't exactly see, what with all the black pants and jackets he had coordinated in that specific area. She squinted, even with the closet light on.

"Dammit." She then caught sight of the silver hook of the hangar. She pulled hard and fell back on her butt. Stuck on the hook was a wrinkled and tattered plastic bag. _That's weird_. Her curiosity strong, she forgot about respecting Syaoran's privacy, and decided to untie the knot. _Where the heck did this come from?_ When she opened it, she saw the picture frame. That same one she'd seen of Yuki and him.

Her heart thudded slowly and loudly. Oh no, what was she doing? She wasn't supposed to be doing this. Why… Just as she felt like putting it away, her eyes betrayed her and focused intently on Yuki's face. Sakura carefully unwrapped the plastic bag and revealed the picture frame in its entirety. Had she not known what had happened to her, Sakura wouldn't have noticed the sadness in her eyes. But it was there, with the way Yuki was smiling ever so slightly.

Why did it hurt so much to stare at this girl's face?

She looked at the young Syaoran, and her finger lightly touched the glass above his face. He looked too smitten and so happy to be with her, Sakura mused. This was the Syaoran whose heart was probably broken after this picture was taken. Sakura felt her heart grow heavy. This was the Syaoran that belonged only to Yuki.

…

Sakura bit her bottom lip. She watched Syaoran put in a movie in the DVD, unsure exactly how to bring it up. It wasn't as though she wanted to know every single thing that happened between them. It was more that she wanted him to open up to her, especially about someone who probably was the most important person in his life. She understood that he didn't like talking about it, but…the longer they were together, the more she became worried. Was Syaoran even ready to truly open his heart to anyone else?

"Don't…start the movie yet," she mumbled from behind.

Syaoran turned. "What's up?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to look at her picture again," she said with uncertainty, knowing the words sounded pathetic. "I saw it in the closet."

He stared back at her speechlessly. For another moment, he glanced to his bedroom then sat back down beside her. "Oh."

Feeling guilty, Sakura's head hung low. "You didn't have to hide it."

"But it's hurting you." He interrupted, his voice a little distant. "To see her."

"Syaoran-"

"I can't throw it away, Sakura."

"I'm not asking you to," she frowned. "Why would I ask you to do that?"

"Then what are you asking?"

"Nothing. I'm here. That's all I'm trying to say." She let out a breath. "Look, just stop being considerate of my feelings for a minute. I know how important she was to you. That was at a time when I didn't know you, so it's okay with me. It's really okay that you loved her," Sakura argued desperately.

"It's not," he replied just as desperately. "Because it's bothering you a lot now. Why else would you bring it up?" He clutched at his forehead in a sign of frustration. "I…don't know what else to say."

"I just thought that if you really let me in and share with me at least some of this pain that you're still carrying…that it'll be easier to move on. You do want to move on, right? But…" Her bottom lip began to tremble. She bit it. "I guess I'm asking too much. Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he interrupted quietly. "It's me messing this up, not you. I don't like talking about it. I don't know what to say without hurting you. Every time I say something, I can see it in your eyes, so it's harder for me."

"That's why, just stop being considerate-"

"I can't do that. That's not easy," he interrupted abruptly. "Not when I care about you this much. So don't ask me to do that. Let me…think about it. Give me some time?"

Her heart helplessly fell. With almost a sad voice, she said, "I told you before, Syaoran. I'll always be here as long as you need me. You don't have to ask me that."

He then turned and studied her face, really taking it in. He saw her disappointment and sadness, and felt a sharp pain stab him through the heart. It felt worse that he could offer no comforting words.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"_Did you get my message? I want to go to the beach tonight. I wanted to tell you something important." _

"_Yeah I'm free. Why do you look so worried?"_

"_Hmm? No, I'm…it's nothing! Just that, it's really important, that's all. Make sure you come on time! I don't like waiting." _

"I_ always leave on time. It's not my fault the bus is late."_

"_Don't make excuses with me. You can always check the bus schedule, can't you? I mean it, Syaoran. Be there on time? For me?"_

"_Stop worrying already Yuki. I'll be there, I'll be there."_

::::::::::

Syaoran woke to the sound of loud raindrops splattering against the windowpanes. With blurred eyes, he sat up and absently looked at the grey clouds covering the sky. Autumn had finally arrived and gloomily so. It was usually at this time in the year where he dreamed more and more of Yuki. Of course, since this was around the time that she passed away. He remained still in his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Though a lot of time had gone by, the pain was still there, hovering above his chest. It came especially when he dreamed of her too.

When his phone rang, Syaoran picked it up and squinted to see the caller ID. _Sakura – Princess -_. A small smile came onto his face. Thinking of her never failed to make him feel better. He'd given her the nickname on his cellphone after that conversation they'd had about prince charmings.

"Hey."

"Hi." Cough. "This is Tomoyo's fault," she managed before going on a coughing fit.

He sat up immediately. "What the hell happened to you?"

"She wanted me to go with her to Tokyo Disney with an ex-boyfriend, her first love. Well, I know Tomoyo still loves him, but she doesn't want to admit it. Anyway, it's a long story. We ended up staying so late last night and I didn't get home until past one…then I woke up at 5 because I couldn't stop coughing."

After hearing the third set of coughs, he stood, a little annoyed. "Why aren't you taking care of yourself better? Dammit, Sakura." He grabbed a change of clothes from his drawer and his towel hanging on the back of his door. "I'll be there in half an hour."

"What? No, you don't have to-"

He hung up the phone and took a quick shower.

…

Sakura frowned up at him as she took two coughing pills and downed them with water. He continued giving her the reprimanding stare, even as she gathered herself at the corner of the couch, tucked within a thick blanket.

"I only have a cough, not a fever."

"It leads to a fever if you don't take care of it properly." He sat down beside her. "Since we met, you've never gotten sick. How'd you get so weak?"

Sakura moaned in annoyance. "I don't know. My head hurts from coughing too much."

He studied her flushed face and her watery eyes. She looked so vulnerable and it was an incredibly unfamiliar sight. Despite the fact that she wasn't looking her best, an odd feeling coursed through him. That same feeling that he felt when he kissed her the first time or when she'd run into the office looking like a wet puppy dog. The fact that she was sick and carrying some ugly virus should have turned him off, but instead, he pulled her into his arms and held her tenderly.

"Sorry, this is the best I can do."

Though she was about to protest, she was too exhausted to push him away. "You shouldn't be so near me, Syaoran…I'm going to get you sick too." She closed her eyes and burrowed in the warmth of his body. "But I'm really happy you came."

"You knew I'd come if you called," he accused lightly.

She shook her head. "I didn't want you to though. I'm getting sleepy."

"Take a nap. I'll be here."

Syaoran glanced up at the clock and noted that it was just past noon. Thankfully he and Sakura had eaten an hour earlier with a healthy lunch that he'd prepared. He glanced down at the light brown bob of hair under his chin. Unable to help himself, he pressed his lips to the top of her head, feeling the pulsing warmth of her skin. He rubbed her arm several times in comfort.

::::::::::

"_The first time I saw you, I thought you were the loneliest person alive. I thought, 'I really need to befriend this guy!' He's got nobody around him." _

"_I remember that. You wouldn't stop following me until I finally gave up and let you say your piece." _

"_Yeah! Those were the days, huh?" _

"_Why are you bringing up old stuff, Yuki? These days are pretty good too." _

"_Mm…I guess so." _

"_So, what's that important thing you wanted to talk about?"_

_Syaoran carefully looked into Yuki's eyes. He saw tears. Not once since he'd known her had he ever seen tears in her eyes. Shocked, he could only stare helplessly. He felt an inkling of worry of what this might be that she needed to speak with him. _

"_Did someone hurt you? What happened? Tell me." _

"_I…" Yuki stared off to the sea, her eyes unwavering. She stopped talking for a long moment, just staring off into space. "Even though I'm like this, I'm really okay. You have to remember that." _

"_What? You…what's wrong?" _

::::::::::

When he woke, he saw the top of Sakura's head still leaning on his chest. He stirred, beginning to feel his muscles ache. Sleeping in that position was really bad for the back. He groaned lightly and moved in order to get out of the sofa. Once he did without waking her up, Syaoran positioned her carefully on the couch then went to the bathroom.

He stared at himself in the mirror. That day at the beach felt, to the 22-year-old Syaoran, like the end of the world.

"_I'm sick. The kind of disease I have, Syaoran, it's not something common. It stays dormant in the body for a long time. When I had my blood checked a few months ago, my doctor said something was really wrong with my blood cell count and my immune system wasn't working properly. He said…half a year, at the most."_

Syaoran threw cold water on his face.

"_I wrote you a letter. I know it's stupid and corny, but I put it in a bottle and buried it over there. Don't open it until…until I'm not here anymore. This is the last time I step foot on this beach, you know. That's why I wanted you here. The last time I get to be in my favourite place in the world, I'm glad it's with you."_

When he walked out of the bathroom, he returned to the living room and quietly watched Sakura's sleeping form. How did she become so important to him in a short amount of time? He'd known her for a long time, yes, but neither of them had felt anything special towards the other until mere months ago.

The last time he'd let himself fall was with Yuki and since then, he'd made a personal promise never to do it again. Yet here he was now, on the verge of falling for someone else. The fear was strong. Especially now, when he couldn't help but recall all the memories he'd had with his first love. Trying hard to fight the feeling of panic, he walked over to the couch and crouched down in front of Sakura. Gently, he pushed back strands of hair that fell over her face.

Slowly her eyelids lifted, and the green eyes he loved to look into, focused on him. "Syaoran…"

"How are you feeling?"

"Have you been watching me sleep all this time?"

He let out a small smile. "I fell asleep too, but…for a few minutes, yeah I was."

"Did I drool?"

"No, but that would've been great. I would've taken a picture for revenge." He chuckled when she sat up and took a jab at his stomach. "I'm not kidding."

"Ugh I know." With messy hair, Sakura touched her head briefly. "What time is it?" She felt the medicine wear off as the back of her throat began to itch. She gave into it and coughed consecutively three times.

"Just before 4."

Sakura could see that underneath that easy smile was sadness. Even in his eyes, there was a hint of it. Feeling her heart grow heavy at the sight, she stood up and touched his cheek hesitantly. Despite her grogginess, she could still sense it.

"What's wrong?"

He gazed at her for a long moment, just looking into her eyes. He wasn't good at communicating how he felt with words. He merely rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

Sakura let out a silent sigh. It must have hurt him more to see someone in pain, simply because it was a painful reminder of Yuki's own suffering. Unable to hide the disappointment that he wouldn't open up to her more, Sakura stepped away. Somewhat feeling anxious, she raked a hand through her hair. "Yuki…you're thinking about her?"

He met her gaze sharply.

Weary, she shook her head to indicate she didn't need an answer. "When you get that look on your face, there's really only one reason why." Sakura coughed.

Silence was her reply.

"It's okay. I won't ask anymore," she murmured.

As much as he wanted to tell her, hell, as much as he needed to, there was just that undeniable fear stopping him. That same stupid fear that he would drive her away by telling her everything. She had no idea what this had done to him – Yuki and all the other emotional baggage that came with her death. He wasn't stupid; women could be understanding about old lovers to a point. If Sakura knew about the letter, about all those memories of Yuki that were permanently there stuck in his brain, she would realize just how far he was from perfect. How could anybody really love someone so broken?

He wouldn't tell her anything to jeopardize what they had together, not when she was the only important person in his life now. He couldn't lose her. Otherwise, what would happen to him?

:::::::::

Sakura let her head fall forward as the hot water soaked through her hair. It had been a rough week, what with her getting a cold soon after her cough. Syaoran had been sweet and even mother-like in that he'd watched over her meticulously over seven days to make sure she didn't get a fever. He'd practically lived in her house in that time frame, picking her up in the morning and staying with her until very late at night. There were some nights she'd let him stay and sleep at the couch.

And while she was grateful and appreciated his presence, she could sense the distance. It was like he was slowly pulling himself away. It wasn't obvious, not outwardly at least. Even when she was sick, he would give her a kiss on the forehead or a hug here and there. It was more the words between them, or lack of it. Most of the time, he just stared at her or stared off somewhere. She would talk about random things and he listened, but his attention, she could tell, wasn't entirely on her.

Was she the one at fault here, being so demanding of his attention and time? She didn't know.

Sakura grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. Why did a horrible feeling settle in her? She began to think that if Syaoran was given a chance to choose between Yuki and her, he would still pick Yuki. It hurt to entertain those kinds of thoughts. It made her feel awful for being jealous of someone who was already gone.

As she stepped out of the bathroom, her cellphone rang in her bedroom. Quickly she ran to it and held it against her ear. "Syaoran?"

"Sakura, I won't be around for the weekend. Some friends from university want to have a gathering in Osaka, so I'm going over for a few days to hang out with them."

"Really? Will you be back by Monday then?"

"Yeah, I should be. I'll call you if something else comes up. Take care of yourself."

"I will. Thanks for taking care of me, Syaoran. I feel much better," she offered quietly.

"Well, that's what I'm here for right?" The silent pause came. "Don't…"

The sadness filled her senses at the thought that she wouldn't see him at all for the entire weekend. They had practically spent every day together since they began dating. She had gotten so used to him being there. "Hmm?"

"Don't go falling in love with some guy while I'm gone," he warned.

Sakura felt a smile come onto her face, despite the heavy ache in her heart. "How can I when you're the only one I think about?" When he chuckled in response, she grunted. "I mean it."

After a moment, he said, "I know."

She bit her lip then said, "When you're there with your friends, you'll… try and cheer up, right?"

"Yeah. It'll be good."

"Good. Okay. I guess I'll see you on Monday."

"Ok. I'll miss you."

Sakura lifted a hand to her heart at the thud. "Me too." When she hung up the phone, she pressed it against her chest.

::::::::::

"Why do you always have to be in a bad mood every time I ask you to come out?" Eriol Hiiragizawa asked. His navy blue eyes reflected weariness as he stared down at the purple-haired beauty standing in front of him.

She met his stare levelly. "Because I haven't forgiven you yet. You're going to have work your butt off to get me to warm up to you again, buddy."

"So you're saying I should just count my blessings that you decided to go to this two-day trip to Osaka with me?"

"Exactly." Tomoyo sat down on her seat right beside the window. "Besides, don't forget that I have family in Osaka. I didn't come to spend 48 hours with you." She passed him her backpack to place on the cabinets. "So be honest with me, Eriol, why didn't you find anybody worth marrying in Paris?"

Though he was tired of facing this interrogation for almost two months, Eriol still felt buried under a sea of guilt and remorse. He knew that the only way he could keep from drowning was to put up with this snooty, awful attitude Tomoyo constantly projected in front of him, because even with that attitude, he still loved her to the bone.

"How could I when I'm obviously still in love with you?"

The words stirred her heart uncomfortably. She looked out the window. _Stay strong, Tomoyo! You can't let this guy walk all over you again. _"Those words aren't enough anymore, you know that, right?"

As Tomoyo studied the people walking on the train station platform, going in various directions to catch the appropriate trains they were headed for, she noticed a familiar face among the crowd. She squinted because he was still a little far. When he began walking closer, her eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Oh my God, what is he doing here?" She blurted out loud, almost splattering her face against the window.

Startled, Eriol jumped from his seat. "Huh? What? Who?"

"Syaoran Li, what are you doing at the train station? Where are you going?" She muttered to herself as she looked around for Sakura. She was nowhere in sight. "Does she even know where you are?"

Her eyes continued to follow him. Syaoran walked to the train where Tomoyo was sitting in, but stopped just in front of the steps to the doorway. He glanced up again at the signboards and as though he realized he had made a mistake, he turned around and walked to the other platform. He studied the large screen monitor once more, glanced down at something he was holding in his hand, which Tomoyo guessed was probably his ticket, then walked into the other train. Tomoyo rapidly blinked her eyes, trying to read the sign as to where that train was headed.

She frowned. Eh? Yuigahama?

:::::::::

Syaoran closed his eyes. In less than one hour, he'd be back there again. Every year he made sure to visit her on her death anniversary; it was a matter of fulfilling his duty. It was supposed to be just about paying respects to the dead rather than drowning in sorrow, but for some reason, stepping foot in that place always seemed to skew the lines closer together.

But now, as he turned his head to glance out to the scenery as it passed him, he felt different about going back. The past three years he'd gone, nobody else mattered but Yuki. Thinking of Sakura covered him with guilt.

He didn't want to lie, but the thought of telling Sakura everything was more than daunting. It was terrifying to think about, having to bear out his soul. He'd never talked about Yuki's death before, at least not the way that he knew Sakura deserved to hear. She respected his privacy enough to leave the topic alone, but it was obvious how much she wanted to know. But he was convinced she would walk away because of it, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Why does everything have to be so complicated, he asked himself wearily. Then again, it was his fault that it even got to this. He was the one sorely lacking in trust in their relationship. When everyone he learned to care about left at any moment, it became that much harder to trust the next person who came in to his life.

Syaoran took out his phone absent-mindedly and opened it. Sakura's smiling face popped up on the screen. He closed the phone. After a moment, he flipped it open again. For a long moment, all he did was look at her face.

:::::::::

Sakura sat on her couch in a daze. _Hey, I just saw Syaoran at the train station. Why is he going to Yuigahama? _Tomoyo had asked over the phone.

She had no answer for it.

Wasn't he going to Osaka? To meet some of his university friends for a reunion? As the questions arose in her, fat drops of tears fell on her lap. Sakura blinked rapidly, trying to push them away, but to no avail. Why did he lie? Why did he lie to her like that? Amidst the silent sobs was the one question that topped all the rest.

Why was he going back there?

:::::::::

Syaoran entered the churchyard with a bouquet of white orchids in his arms. As he walked along the concrete pathway to where Yuki was buried, he looked up at the dismal sky. It was already close to 8pm and he had yet to find a place to stay for the night. He hadn't thought about finding one, since once he'd arrived at Yuigahama, the first thing he thought to do was go directly to the cemetery, which was a good one and a half-hour bus ride from the train station. Though he was physically exhausted from the trip, his nerves were acting up. Being back here was causing enough anxiety.

Eventually he reached it. On her gravestone was written _Honda Yuki_. _August 10, 1983 – September 15, 2006_. Looking at the sight now, he guessed her parents had already come by, with new candles and fresh flowers in place. Syaoran knelt down on his knees and said a prayer first. Afterward, when he put the orchids down on the ground, Syaoran sat in front of the gravestone. He let out a deep breath. Since she'd died, he'd come and done the exact same thing. Now it had a whole different meaning.

His gaze remained fixed on her name. As though she was alive and sitting beside him, he said, "Hey Yuki."

"_I'll regret it if I don't tell you now," He said, holding her shoulders firmly. "I'm…" _

_Yuki stared back at Syaoran with those big blue eyes, waiting. "What? You know Mom's waiting for me at home. Hurry. What is it?" _

"_I love you."_

_Her body froze in shock. The shock couldn't have been more transparent on her face. _

_It was like he'd been released of all this pressure inside his chest. Slowly, he let go of her and stepped back slightly, now able to think clearly. "I've been in love with you for a long time, Yuki. It took me…five years to get the courage to tell you. I'm one big coward, I know."_

"_W…what?" In confusion, Yuki shook her head rapidly. "Syaoran, you can't be. No, we're such good friends. How…how can you be in love with me? Y-you're probably confusing it with-"_

"_I'm not. I thought that at first, but…every time I see you, you do something to me. I don't know," he said, a small pained smile on his face. "Things like this, I don't think anybody can control it." _

"_I…" She swallowed, afraid to tell the truth. "I love you too, Syaoran. Just…not…" When he slowly nodded in return, she could see the defeat. She hugged him tightly. "Even if I don't feel the same way, you're still the only one that matters to me, do you understand? I'm not going to lose you. I won't. So please…understand me." _

_He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. "I understand you, but I don't give up that easily. I'm just letting you know now. I promise, you're it for me. For life."_

"_You can't make those kinds of promises at twenty years old, you idiot," she murmured affectionately. "But I'll hold you to that promise. But IF and this is a big if. If at some point in time, I ever fall in love with you and I confess, that's when I'll release you from that promise." _

"_But that makes no sense. Once you're in love with me, then we can be together." _

"_Oh I don't know about that. You might be with someone else at that point." _

"_I just said I won't love anybody else. Why don't you believe me?"_

"_Because. No one can predict the future. What if something happens and someone else comes along and takes you away from me? Then you won't want to wait for my feelings to change and who knows where we'd be at that point?" _

"_Maybe I wasn't clear enough the first time. I'll always love _you_, I promise." _


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

On Monday morning, Sakura waited in the lobby for Syaoran to arrive. She negligently glanced at a mirror and adjusted the lapels of her jacket. She didn't know what to say to him. She had spent all of Sunday mulling over what she knew and how she felt about it, and got nowhere. Too many unanswered questions to count. Syaoran hadn't called either all weekend, which was somewhat of a relief, since she had nothing prepared. Even now, she couldn't find the right words to say the moment they saw each other again.

Syaoran parked in front of her building. He sat back against his seat, his mind completely on other things. Waiting for her to come out was almost like torture. He'd missed her like hell. He couldn't remember ever spending 48 hours so miserably. Being in Yuigahama, surrounded by memories and promises that he'd buried in his mind, wanting so badly to forget them but being unable to, was tough.

He missed her voice. He missed her face. The stupid phone had to die out and he had to be stupid enough to not bring his charger, so he couldn't even flip up that phone and just look at her picture.

At the same time, even now he couldn't even come out of this depressed state. The guilt was there, hovering like an inescapable shroud. He watched as she walked out of her building, looking prim and proper as always and he badly wanted to hold her. But he felt like he had no right to do that, not when Yuki was so present in his mind.

When Sakura sat on the passenger's seat, he started the car, buried in his own silence. And because he was too preoccupied in his own problems, he didn't notice the uneasiness in her eyes.

Ten minutes had gone by before her voice finally broke the tension. "How was the reunion?"

"It was fine." Lying like this was like poison. He hated himself for it. "How's the cold?"

"It's gone."

And the silence came looming over them again. The tension was increasing, filling up the small spaces of the car. But while both noticed it, neither could find any words to say. Upon arrival at the office parking lot, Sakura quickly got out, didn't offer an excuse and practically ran into the building without him. He himself exited the car slowly and languidly.

Syaoran stood by the car for a moment, finally realizing something was off with her. She hadn't been her usual self at all the entire ride. What was wrong with her? Why had _she_ been so quiet?

When the possibility that she might have realized he had lied to her came at him like a lightning bolt, he swallowed. No, there was no way. If she did find out, that would be the end of them.

::::::::::

A day passed. While he still picked her up in the morning and dropped her off at night, it became harder and harder to be with her. Her silence, the sullenness in her eyes, and the way she avoided him however she could throughout the day were so undeniably obvious. He was such a damn coward, he couldn't even find the guts to ask her straight out what was going on with her. Dealing with his own problems and messy emotions made it easier to avoid the topic anyway.

He'd gone to Yuigahama and not once in the entire weekend did he step foot into the beach to go look for that damned letter. He didn't even get close. He ran away again, like always, as it was every time. Her parents had been accommodating and let him stay in their house, which made his trip back there a lot more painful to endure.

Knowing he had to go back there one more time and probably have to lie to Sakura again was eating at him.

::::::::::

And the quieter the days got, the angrier she became. The self-pity was replaced entirely with livid anger. The same unanswered questions remained swirling in her head. How could he have lied so openly and easily in front of her face like that? The nerve of the jerk. And it wasn't just that he lied. He went back there. Why Yuigahama? Why go to the place where he and Yuki grew up together? Was the reason so bad, so unacceptable that she wouldn't be able to take it? Was that what he was thinking? It was so damn frustrating, so upsetting.

On Wednesday afternoon, Sakura finally reached her breaking point when she caught a glimpse of Syaoran sharing a laugh with a co-worker. Very literally she had broken the pencil she was holding in half. When the last person left the office, leaving the two of them alone, she finally found her legs and sauntered over to him. He looked up.

They stared at each other for a good ten seconds in silence. Then her words came in a low voice. "You lied."

He stood slowly, his heart racing rapidly. Really it was like his world was turning grey. How did she know? "How…"

"Does that matter?" She interrupted, her fists clenched against her sides. No longer able to keep it in, she demanded, "Why? At least have the decency to tell me."

He couldn't find the words at first. Still unable to recover from the very fact that she knew, he could only stare back at her.

"Answer me! Tell me right now you jerk. Stop staring at me like I'm the one who did something wrong here." She threw punches at him mindlessly.

He grabbed her wrists. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Bullshit. You're hurting me right now." She pulled her arms from his grip and raked a careless hand over her hair. "Why'd you go back there?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes dammit! I'm not in the mood for games, Syaoran. Why would I ask if I didn't want to know?"

His eyes, intense and aloof, focused on her. It was almost like he'd distanced himself completely now. "I went back for Yuki. To be alone with her."

Her nerves shaking, she forced herself not to cower and cry, even when just as he said, it was painful to hear. She let out a shaky breath. "Why?"

He swore, curses running out of his mouth. Did she really want him to break her heart? Already looking at her now was heartbreaking. Why couldn't she see that he wanted to protect her from it all? He couldn't stop hurting her. Without the ability or strength to lie in front of her, he spoke with resignation. "My first love died four years ago Saturday. I was fifteen when I fell in love with her and she died after only seven years. Do you…" Syaoran swallowed, feeling as though he was suffocating. "Do you get that? She was the first person I ever _loved_. The first time that happened to me, it was so damn blinding. I couldn't see anything else but her. I can't just forget about her because of you."

The first teardrop leaked out of the corner of her eye. Syaoran caught it just before Sakura hastily wiped it away, refusing to give in. "I never asked you to! I'm trying to understand-"

"You'll never get it." He turned away and began pacing in a sign of his own anxiety. He couldn't stop himself. Why was he doing this? Why was he purposely hurting her?

_You know why, you bastard_.

Before she got the chance to walk away, he was going to do it to her first. "You won't understand. You won't be able to accept that part of me."

She shook her head immediately, pulling him back so he could face her. "You're pushing me away right now. Stop it," she cried angrily. As they looked into each other's eyes, she could see the pain in his. His heart was hurting so much. Why was he even doing this? She grabbed the collar of his shirt and forcefully brought his face up to hers. "I may not have known you as long as Yuki did, but I know your heart. I know you care. I can see it. So why are you trying to hurt me, huh? Why are you doing this?"

The questions he was asking himself, she threw right back at him. He held her fisted hands and pried them off of his shirt. With his strength, he stepped back. Ashamed of himself, he looked away. "I told you before, Sakura. I'm not your prince charming. I'm not the guy you're looking for. There's a part of me that will always be broken, no matter what you say or do. You'll never understand me."

She slapped him hard across the cheek. "You son of a bitch. You want me to lean on you, but you won't lean on me. You're not even giving me a chance. You didn't want to hurt me? That's why you're keeping all this in because you don't want to hurt me? Then why am I hurting right now?" She took an instinctive step back. "When I told you I would be there for you as long as you needed me, I _meant_ every word." She then turned and ran out on him. As she ran down the stairs, the anger was still on the surface. "Such a hypocrite. You liar."

But once she'd reached the outside of the building, Sakura buried her face in her hands, all but falling into a ball of tears.

::::::::::

When she heard knocking at her front door, Sakura opened it. Swollen, puffy red eyes greeted Tomoyo. Her own heart breaking, she gathered Sakura into her arms and lovingly rubbed her back. "It'll be okay …"

"He-he was so awful!" Sakura cried, her voice muffled. "I hate him Tomoyo. I hate him!"

"No you don't. He was just being a sorry-ass jerk, unfortunately."

When they sat on the couch, Sakura furiously swiped at her eyes. "This is our first fight, you know. And it couldn't have been more terrible. I…I think I physically abused him. I shoved him, punched him, slapped him, you name it. I was so angry. He didn't say a word to me for days. He wasn't planning on letting me know at all. I was waiting for it and it never came. You think you know someone and then they lie completely to you like that. It's…it's so disillusioning."

"I'm not siding with him, okay? I just want to try and understand too," Tomoyo clarified before Sakura could pounce on her for what she would say next. "He said he didn't want to hurt you right? Then he was probably aware that this whole thing with Yuki was bugging you so much. And he probably figured that the more you knew about his past with her, the more it would hurt you. Eventually it would make you want to walk away. That's….one theory of course."

"But why would I walk away…"

"Because everyone else in his life did," Tomoyo supplied with a soft voice. "You know when someone makes a mistake and they do that same mistake over and over and over again. Eventually, you start believing that that person will never get it right and will probably always make that same mistake?"

"He must not be able to trust anybody then," Sakura mused, sniffing into the tissue.

Tomoyo nodded. "When every single person he's let in left at some point or another, he probably got to a point where he was no longer willing to let anybody in to protect himself. I know you know this, honey. You know Syaoran more than I do. It's just that right now all you see is a red haze. Sakura…nobody's perfect, especially Syaoran. He's not prince charming. There's no prince charming. We learned this lesson from Soshi, didn't we?" She urged gently.

"Syaoran's my prince charming," Sakura argued despite that. "He's not perfect, but he's mine."

Because of how annoyingly adorable she was being at the moment, Tomoyo jumped her and almost squeezed the life out of her. "You're so stubborn. Well then…looks like I was successful to pacify you and remind you exactly how much you love this man."

"But I'm not giving in first."

::::::::::

Syaoran lifted the weights as he released a heavy breath, then dropped them on the ground as his muscles gave in. When fatigue settled in, he let himself fall on a bench and took slow breaths, cooling off. His current state could only be described in one word. A mess. When he was at home, all he would do was lie in bed, staring at the ceiling like a lunatic, or sit on the couch and watch TV monotonously. So going to a nearby fitness center had been the next best choice. At least he wouldn't be alone.

But now that he had spent a good two hours in the gym, he had no choice but to go home. Reluctantly he got up.

Twenty minutes later he walked into his suite with a heavy duffel bag hanging over his shoulder. He turned on the lights and looked up, studying the kitchen. All he could see was Sakura complaining there about having to cook him food.

"Shit."

Much too miserable to even do anything but think, he set down on his living room couch, his head falling onto his hands. Damn. His eyes were stinging.

::::::::::

Both Syaoran and Sakura's prides and unwillingness to back down and confront the other stood in the way for a week and a half. It had been more than silent. It had been torture; almost similar to that time when they had fought as enemies. As lovers, however, it was like torture in another level.

She'd look over at him every once in a while, and sometimes, she'd catch him looking at her. The moment would pass just as quickly as it happened. Her heart would ache as much as his did.

In the worst of moods, Sakura shoved her lunch in the microwave and stood outside the kitchen, staring blankly at the office. Why her eyes rested on Syaoran's cubicle so easily, she didn't bother asking herself. With a sigh, she looked away. When the microwave dinged, Sakura turned and bumped solidly against something hard. In a daze, she stepped back and felt her leg hit a metal trashcan. "Ah!" Just before she could trip on her own feet and fall back, the person she'd bumped into grabbed her quickly.

She stared up in astonishment. Kikuchi Makoto looked back at her with worry. "Are you okay?"

Before she could say a word, she was pulled back to her feet and pulled away from him. "She's fine," Syaoran interrupted, shoving Makoto's arms off of Sakura.

Immediately uneasy by the look Syaoran was sending at him, Makoto blinked rapidly. "Oh, okay. Sorry for bumping into you like that, Sakura!" He hurriedly walked off in another direction.

"Stop being so damn clumsy," he spoke once Makoto was gone.

"It's not like I meant for it to happen," she snapped, pulling herself together. When she looked down, she saw Syaoran's arms still binding her waist in a protective manner. Feeling her emotions rise up quickly in her throat, she pushed him away. "G-go away."

He let go of her and watched her walk back into the kitchen. Syaoran clutched his forehead in hopelessness. Really, what the hell was he doing. The last week and a half had gone by slowly and excruciatingly. He could see from her that she was going through the same thing. In all honesty it really was a funny thing between them. They'd become so dependent on each other to the point of the state beyond misery if the other was in a bad mood or nowhere to be found.

After a moment, he followed her to the kitchen. When he entered, her eyes flew to him, as wide and wary as a deer caught in headlights.

His mouth opened to say something, but no words came out.

She couldn't say anything.

He stared at her for a minute, wanting badly to go to her, yet knowing he didn't have the right. He didn't deserve her if he wasn't going to be able to apologize for everything. He'd spent all week regretting everything he'd said. The thought of breaking up was enough to tear him apart.

"I'm sorry." His head fell in defeat. "For lying. Sorry for…what I said. I didn't mean anything I said. Sorry for making you cry." He then lifted his head, his eyes sad. "I've never asked anybody this in my life. You're the first one, so…please. Don't leave, Sakura."

Because her bottom lip began to quiver, Sakura bit it immediately. Her heart was completely and unavoidably his. "Kiss me and I won't."

Syaoran reached her in less than a second and picked her up off of the floor. He held her body tight against him as he kissed her with the desperation of a man who'd been given water after enduring thirst for years. He let her down after a long moment and continued to hold her close. He didn't know how much he needed her, not until after the fight, and now he couldn't even let her go.

She pulled away first. "I missed you."

"Me too."

"I wasn't planning on leaving, Syaoran," she murmured. "Just so you know."

"So I didn't need to beg?"

"No, you didn't."

He kissed the top of her head anyway.

…

"It was her death anniversary. That's why I went back," Syaoran explained more clearly this time. "I went to go visit her and her parents."

Sitting beside him on his couch, Sakura quietly listened to his story.

"She died about a month after she turned 23. She was already pretty weak by then; couldn't walk or do anything herself. Yuki told me about her disease a few months after she saw the doctor, so we only really had 4 months, I think, to spend together. Those four months went by," he snapped his fingers, "like that." He grew silent for a moment, recalling the memories. "I never thought a person could become so weak in so short a time. Her blood was being sucked out of her, literally."

"Syaoran-" Sakura interjected after seeing the anguish in his expression.

"Don't feel bad for me. I need to tell you. You have the right to know."

She nodded then.

"Since she died, I've had a hard time sleeping. Until a few months ago, every time I closed my eyes, I could see it in my head; how she looked the moment she died. I was in the room when she reached her arm like this," he demonstrated half-heartedly, "towards me, like she wanted me to save her. I held her hand and she, uh…" Syaoran closed his eyes.

_You won't forget me, right Syaoran?_

When he opened his eyes, even the image of it remained etched in his mind. "She asked me not to forget her. Then she just stopped breathing. Her hand got limp and weightless for a second. Eventually it got cold. The doctor had to force me out of the room because I couldn't stop staring at her. I was willing her eyes to blink. It didn't make sense to me how somebody could be so alive one second and be so lifeless the next. Imagine having to face all that with the only person you've ever loved."

Reliving it like this hurt exactly as he had expected it to, but he'd run away from it long enough. "How'd I do?" He asked quietly, turning his head slightly to meet Sakura's eyes.

"You did good."

"You know, for four years, I never got that out. This is the first time I talked about Yuki's death."

"She's not suffering anymore. You have to remember that," Sakura said, fully convinced of it. "I really believe that she's in a better place now. She must be sad that you're still in so much pain. I think…when she asked you not to forget, she meant to take good care of the memories you guys shared together. She would've wanted you to be happy."

Syaoran looked up at the ceiling. He knew it, but it felt good to hear it from someone else. "You think so?"

"When you love someone…what you want the most is for that person to be happy right?" Sakura lightly touched his hair. "You carried a lot of pain in your heart for a long time. I'm sorry that you had to," she added in a quieter voice, pondering over it.

As Syaoran watched Sakura's face, he felt that same familiar, overwhelming feeling. Only now he realized what it was. But he knew he couldn't say the words out loud until he let go of Yuki completely. Sakura deserved to hear those words, the words women treasured so highly, in the right way.

"Let me go back," He said immediately, realizing everything now. He had to go back and say goodbye for the last time. "There's one last thing I need to do," he tried explaining. "I'll tell you everything when I come back."

Emotionally drained, she rested her head against the couch. There was more he couldn't say, but at least he was starting to open up. She had to be satisfied with that. With a slow nod, she met his gaze. For a long time, she just stared into his eyes, memorizing his every feature. Could he love her someday, she wondered? It seemed more possible now at least. That had to be enough, she said to herself.

When he held her close, she then said, "Then go."

:::::::::

Alone in the dark, lying in her bed hugging a pillow to her chest, Sakura tried closing her eyes. All she saw was Syaoran. She couldn't sleep. Still filled with thoughts of him, her mind couldn't rest. She'd faced more emotions in a span of two weeks than she had ever faced in her life. To go through all this meant the feelings, the relationship, the entirety of what she and Syaoran had, was beyond what she imagined could ever exist between two people. She'd learned one important lesson about love because of him. Love brought about extreme emotions; there was no in-between. Life could either be happy and beautiful or just painful and unbearable.

She pressed her face on the pillow. Where was he now? On the train to Yuigahama? Her heart felt heavy and lonely. Now when they'd made up he'd gone back once more. Why did he have to go back so urgently like that, she wondered. Like an unfinished business almost. Why hadn't she offered to come with him?

Sakura opened her eyes and adjusted to the dark. Did she even have the right to be there and intrude in their memories? She wasn't a part of it at all. Despite his apologies, the words he'd said to her before – _you'll never get it – _echoed still in her ears. She knew everything he'd said reflected some truth in it. She was always going to be an outsider; someone who could never truly understand it all. It was hard to accept that. Did that mean she wasn't the right person for him?

No…no. She frowned, feeling her tears come up. Who cares if she couldn't understand it completely? Now imagining him with some other woman was impossible for her to do. He'd become hers as much as she'd become his.

At the thought of him being there in Yuigahama, alone, without anyone to lean on, Sakura sat up suddenly. For some reason, her gut feeling said that whatever Syaoran set out to do there was going to be painful. "No…I have to be there," she muttered to herself. "It doesn't matter." Even if she wasn't the right person for him, she would make it so. She was the only person for him. Quickly she got out of bed and carelessly turned on the lights. "I have to be there for him, like I said I would." With her thoughts spinning quickly she grabbed for a bag and some clothes to change into. _I have to go. I have to go to him. I may not understand it all, but all that matters is he's hurting and I need to be there. How I feel doesn't matter anymore. _

Her phone rang while she put on a pair of jeans. "What?" She asked hastily.

"Sakura! Can I come over tonight?" Tomoyo asked in her usual, cheerful voice.

"Not tonight. I'm going to Yuigahama."

"Eh? What? How come you're going there now too?"

"Syaoran went earlier today. I have to go after him, Tomoyo," Sakura replied hurriedly. "If I don't…" _He'll end up crying alone. _"I have to go. I'll talk to you later!"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Syaoran looked down at his watch. It was just past 5:00AM. Yuigahama was still incredibly dark, with gray clouds blotting the sky. Only a few others had gone on the train with him early that morning. It was pretty stupid really, to take a train ride at 3:00AM in the morning, especially when he was already feeling so worn out. All he knew was that he didn't want to wake up the next morning with this still hanging over his head.

Relying on his memory, he walked to a bus stop that would drive him right by the beach. As he sat on the bench, he closed his tired eyes for a moment. Fifteen minutes passed quickly in that way as he dreamed. Images of Sakura and Yuki were mixing together. He began to frown as his dreams were unravelling. Then something honked loudly.

Syaoran sprung up from his position, alarmed. He blinked his eyes difficultly, trying to remember where he was. He moaned under his breath. Right. Yuigahama. Beach. Have to find that letter. Then he squinted against the bright lights, realizing slowly that his bus had arrived. Quickly grabbing his bag and fishing for his ticket, he walked in.

…

He sat on the sand and took in a deep breath of the ocean breeze. He positioned himself several meters away from the shore. Because the wind was chilly, he closed the zipper of his jacket. Now the clouds were beginning to part, getting ready for sunrise. Still it was still fairly dark. He glanced around idly, noting that there was no one else in sight.

To his left was the old bottle. It didn't take much effort to find it. It was there, where she'd said she left it years before, untouched and unfazed by time. The letter was there too; its paper having aged with time. Syaoran decided to wait until the sun came out before reading it.

So as he watched the sunrise, he put the bottle aside and opened up the folded letter.

_Syaoran, _

_I guess by the time you've read this, I'm already gone. That sucks for you, since you won't get to see my pretty face anymore! _

_Ah, I can see your expression now. Sorry. I didn't mean it. _

_The real reason I wrote this letter is to reveal to you something that I've kept for a really, really long time. I'm not as brave or as strong as you. I'm really weak. _

_I've actually loved you all this time. Uwah, I finally wrote it out. I wrote in pen too so now I can't erase it. _

_I love you. I've been in love with you since we were…fifteen? I think I fell in love with you before you fell in love with me. Since that moment you gave me that cold glare and walked off with that bad attitude of yours, I was a goner. You never knew, did you? _

_When you became my friend, I couldn't have been happier. For the first time in my life, I was glad to be alive. _

_In the beginning, I was afraid to tell you my feelings. I couldn't even find the courage to talk to you properly until college. When we became closer, then it just became impossible. Our friendship means the world to me, if you only knew. That's really why I couldn't tell you how I felt._

_About my sickness, I knew since I was a kid that I was going to die sooner than most people. I just don't want you to suffer more because of me. I'm sorry that I kept all this from you. _

_But you know, right now I'm happy. Even I'm sick like this, I'm happy that you love me. Is that weird? _

_And I'm actually really selfish, Syaoran. Sometimes I have these crazy thoughts, like I want to be the only woman you'll ever love forever. But I know that's not fair to you. When I think about how it will be when I'm gone, I start to realize just how selfish it is to want to keep you for myself. _

_In all honesty, if I had one wish, it wouldn't be to save myself, since that's kind of too late anyway. No, I'd really wish for you to be happy. So please, be happy?_

_I don't know why but I have a feeling you're going to wait a while before opening up this letter. So I wanted to ask the present Syaoran reading this letter. Are you in love with someone else now? I really hope you are. _

_My happiest memory is when you told me you loved me. Do you remember what I said to you then? What would happen if ever I fell in love with you and got the guts to confess? Well, here's me releasing you of your promise. So if you really are in love with someone, love her wholeheartedly and let me go. I got more than enough time with you, so make sure you give her 110% of your heart, okay?_

_And I want to end things right, so in case I don't get a chance to properly say this to you, thank you. Thank you for being my best friend all these years. Thank you for loving me and making that promise to me. And lastly, thank you for the memories. _

_You really were the highlight of my life. _

_Bye Syaoran._

– _Yuki_

His body felt numb. Without his awareness, the letter fell to the sand, slipping out of his hands. He sat still, staring off at the dark sea, listening to the sound the waves crashing against the sand. All that kept flashing in front of him were the memories. She'd loved him this whole felt tears roll down his cheeks. He hadn't known at all. The girl he'd loved so immensely for the first time in his life loved him back. Only she had chosen to keep it a secret. Regrets and what-ifs came like a surge inside of him.

Just as he lowered his head and covered his face with his hand, gentle arms wrapped around him tightly. Sakura's warmth and scent surrounded him immediately. He felt her cheek rest against the top of his head. Like a baby, he buried his head in her bosom. He couldn't even stop the tears from faling.

Sakura repeatedly rubbed his back, feeling her own tears rise to the surface. She'd seen him, walked towards him as he read the letter, and saw how he just crumpled down as though lifeless.

For a long time, she held him as he cried his heart out.

…

The sun was beginning to shine a little brightly now. A long time had passed before Syaoran could even gather himself up again. But just as he did, he wiped his face with his shirt. For the first time that morning, he looked up and met Sakura's eyes. Hers looked just as puffy as his felt. He glanced down at the sand and found the letter. He passed it to her wordlessly.

While Sakura read it, he continued staring out into the endless ocean. _Thanks for writing me that letter, Yuki. I needed it. _

After Sakura finished reading it, she folded the letter and held it in her hand. She could only continue studying the wrinkled piece of paper that held so much unsaid words. The feelings between Yuki and Syaoran were more than she could take in. They were so pure and filled with love. It made her want to cry for the mere fact that their love had been wasted because she had to die at such a young age.

Syaoran turned and looked back at her. He saw the tears in the corner of her eye. "You're crying," he said as he reached over and wiped them away with his thumbs.

"Why did she have to die?" Sakura asked, shifting away so he couldn't touch her. "You loved each other so much. It doesn't make any sense." She swiped at her eyes with her arm. "Doesn't it make you mad?"

He stared at her in disbelief. He hadn't known what to expect out of Sakura, but this reaction stunned him.

"The kind of love you shared with Yuki, it's so special. It's a love that comes by once in a lifetime, Syaoran," she murmured. "Why didn't she just tell you? You would have had so much more memories together."

When he caressed her cheek with his hand, she looked up, meeting his gaze.

"Can I have it?"

She passed the letter to him. He then stood, holding the letter in his hand, and walked to the shore. Syaoran studied it for a long time. It was the last thing that remained of the past. He had to let go of it all now. He took a deep breath, feeling his heart being squeezed painfully again. But knowing Sakura was there was enough to give him the courage to say goodbye.

"Yuki, I never got to say bye to you properly," he called out. "I'll do it now."

He let the letter fall into the water. A tear escaped and fell on his cheek. He wiped it away. _Goodbye, Yuki._ He straightened and stepped back a few steps as he watched the piece of paper get carried away by the sea. Then he turned back.

Sakura was standing a ways away, her hands covering her face. Her shoulders were shaking.

He practically ran back to her and pulled her firmly into his arms. He held onto her as tightly as he could. She was the most precious person in his life now, and nothing, no one, not even Yuki, was ever going to change that. He was going to do what Yuki had said. His whole heart was Sakura's now.

"What are you feeling right now?" She managed to ask amidst her sniffles.

He looked down, shifted so he could study her face. With the way she was looking at him and with all that compassion in her eyes staring straight back at him, he couldn't help but lower his lips to kiss hers. "Why'd you come after me?"

"I didn't want you to cry alone."

It was like the heaviness in his chest disappeared with that single sentence. He didn't realize how badly he needed her to be there for him until now. "She loved me all this time and she didn't tell me."

"When you love someone with all your heart, you want them to be happy, no matter what. For Yuki, all that mattered was you."

Syaoran rested his forehead against hers. "It's a lot to take in."

She closed her eyes. "But you found what you were looking for."

"She told me to find it after she died but I never got the courage to look for it. It took me all this time," he admitted quietly.

"I didn't know if I should come here. I thought…it really wasn't my place to be here. I…was almost ready to give you up you know. Almost." She let out a small laugh, finally opening her eyes up to him. "When I let you go the second time, I was so lonely. Then I was sitting on my bed, realizing a lot of things while crying like a puppy dog. It didn't matter how I felt. All that mattered was you. I could picture you here, alone…probably crying too. I got so sad. Syaoran, you know, I really…I lo-"

"I'm saying it first," he interrupted, cupping her cheeks. "I love you. Yuki asked me in the letter if I was in love. When I read that, your face was all I could see."

She kissed him first this time. "You love me?" she asked when his lips travelled to her forehead, then to each of her eyelids, then to her chin. "I really love you. I've never said that to a man before."

He then kissed her on the mouth again. "That means I get to take the rest of your firsts, huh?"

"Don't say that so smugly."

"You know how badly flawed I am. I can be pretty dumb and say the wrong things. And this probably won't be the last time I make you cry, so I won't make any promises. You'll still love me though, right?"

"I probably will never understand you the way Yuki did, but I'll love you even when you don't need me anymore," she offered, feeling her emotions come to the surface again.

He bonked her head lightly. "Stop with the tears already," he chided. When she could only giggle, he held her again, close to his heart.

Sakura turned her head so she could look over at the water. "Don't worry Yuki. I'll do my best to make him happy."

Syaoran looked down at her hair, catching the way the sunlight formed a halo at the top of her head. He couldn't have asked for anything more. All the pain, all the sorrow he'd experienced in his whole life were all replaced now with indescribable happiness. He'd never felt this happy to be alive.

"I love you, Sakura," he said, this time for himself.

…

Sakura straightened out her legs on the carpet floor, sitting against the wall with the suite telephone against her ear.

After everything that had happened, both of them had gone to a nearby hotel and fell on the bed right away. In less than a minute, both had fallen asleep, emotionally spent and physically fatigued from the travel. After three hours, Sakura woke first.

"So that's why you chased after him," Tomoyo murmured.

"Mm. We've been on the phone for almost an hour and he's still asleep," Sakura answered as she glanced up at the bed. Syaoran's face was currently buried under a pillow, but she could see some of his hair sticking out. "Tomoyo, I've never gone after someone before."

"That's because you've never fallen in love before."

"You saying that means you must be acknowledging Eriol's declaration of love for you, right?"

Tomoyo became quiet for a moment, before she hummed. "I kissed him. In Osaka. I didn't plan on doing that, but…he…"

Sakura smiled, completely happy for her best friend. "Aww. You still love him."

"Argh. I told him we're taking it slow this time. He practically cried when I said it." She sighed. "I have to admit, it's nice having someone love you exactly for who you are. It was hard for me to open up again, you know. I felt like I couldn't trust him anymore. I guess I never gave up on him after all this time. I wanted to make him fight for me…because he never used to."

Sakura looked outside the window from where she was. "That's how it must have been for Syaoran too. He couldn't lean on anyone because everyone left him…and the one person he loved at the time went away too." Her heart felt sad thinking of Yuki. "I wish I could've met her. She seemed like a really good person."

"Yuki? You got to read the letter, right."

"I felt like I got to know her a little bit more. To love someone to the point that you'd hope for their happiness above your own, even when you're in enough pain as it is, it's…"

"That's admirable."

"It's love."

At that moment, Syaoran peeked out from under the covers and met her startled gaze. He could barely open his eyes, so he blinked many times. She smiled at the sight and reached out to pat his head. He grabbed her hand midway and pressed his lips against her palm. Her heart leapt. Syaoran took the phone from Sakura while still holding her hand in his.

"Tomoyo?" He asked with a rough voice.

"Syaoran! You woke up! Sakura just filled me in. How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing good, thanks for asking. But I'm going to hang up now. Sakura will call you later."

She giggled. "Take care of her!"

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Sakura to stand in front of him. She looked down, studying his sleepy amber eyes and the way his dishevelled hair fell over them. So this was how he looked when he woke up. It thrilled her heart to be able to see it; to be the only one in the world to have seen it.

"Did you have a good rest?" She asked softly.

"I did. I slept for a while. How long have you been awake?"

"Over an hour maybe?" Sakura played with his hair and tried to push his bangs to one side. "That's another first for me, you know. Going after someone and not giving up. I always gave up first."

"It was a first for me too. Chasing after you all this time. Though half the time, it was me pushing you away." Ruefully, he smiled. "Sorry."

She looked into his eyes for a long time, studying them while he did the same to hers. Then she bent down and pressed her lips on his. Her pulse thudded when his lips travelled down to the spot under her jaw. She sighed quietly when he pulled her forcefully that she fell on his lap. Her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively. He found her mouth again, almost devouring it, while his hands locked on her waist, touching her bare skin. She felt her cheeks bloom with heat as her mouth opened and his tongue touched hers tentatively.

He pulled away first, managing to smile despite how badly his heart was racing. "Sorry. Probably not the right place to do it our first time."

She shook her head, though she took a moment before meeting his eyes. "It's…okay with me."

Despite her words, he could see the anxiety in her face. Syaoran held her cheek, bending down to kiss the tip of her nose in comfort. "Our first time together, it'll be special. I promise I'll take care of you."

Because he noticed it, she let her forehead fall against his shoulder in relief. "Okay."

His body still felt hot, his heart still rapidly pounding. No matter his good intentions, he was still, after all, a man. Carefully he stood up while lifting her up, set her on the bed and pulled away. When she stared up at him in question, he stood against the wall, a meek smile on this face. "Sorry, I'm…cooling off."

She nodded and looked away from him, feeling the heat of her own face strengthen.

"Sakura," he spoke after a moment. When she faced him again, he said, "Thanks for saving…" His face reddened. "Ah...I mean I'm really…glad…that I get to be your first."

She smiled then, showing that bright, innocent smile he fell for. "You mean my only one, Syaoran."

"Ah...don't say that," he interrupted quickly putting a hand up. "I'm already having a hard time keeping my hands off you, so don't make it harder."

Her heart shook in response. She could see on his face just how troubled he was. She never thought she would be this desired by someone before. It felt amazingly wonderful, especially when the man desiring her was Syaoran. There was no doubt in her mind that he was going to take good care of her the moment it happened. She then got to her feet and took out her hand for him to take.

"Let's go get something to eat."

:::::::::

On the train ride home, Syaoran leaned his head back and turned to his right. For a long time, he watched her sleep. He felt content just looking at her face. To think how everything had come to this. Even looking back at how they were months ago seemed funny to him. The last time they had gone to Yuigahama together, they'd still hated each other. It really was funny how life worked.

He reached over and pushed aside a stray hair from her face. At the touch, her eyelids lifted slowly, her eyes adjusting to the light. When they met his, a small smile appeared on her face. She turned towards him and snuggled closer.

"Stop staring at me," she murmured sleepily.

"No."

She moaned a little, reluctantly deciding to wake up. She straightened from her position and stretched her back. When she finished doing so, he was still watching her, that half-amused, half-intense look in his eyes. A little embarrassed, Sakura grabbed hold of his chin and wagged his head from side to side.

"You dork."

He smiled then. "I was just thinking how the last time we were here together, you were getting it on with Soshi."

Her punch came quick and forcefully, earning an 'oof' from him. "I was not."

"I was at the beach that night…my first attempt at looking for that letter. When you found me, remember?"

"Oh really? You looked so sad that night," she recalled, thinking back to that time. It seemed so long ago. "That was the first time my heart did this little bump. I never felt it before."

He looked at her quizzically. "What?"

"That bump. Like my heart skipped a beat or something. When you looked at me that night."

"Really?" For some reason, the pleasure came like a wave over his heart. "I thought you liked Soshi then."

"I did. But…" Sakura poked his cheek teasingly. "I guess you were always the one that got my heart going."

He laughed while grabbing her finger. "That's nice to hear."

For a long moment, they merely looked into each other's eyes, with no words in between. Staring into his eyes made her feel warmth in her belly. There was no other man who could make her feel that way.

Then she asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Uh…" Syaoran let out a breath. "Feels kind of like this big heavy boulder's off of me. That weighed me down for a long time. Thanks for being there for me, angel eyes," he said quietly.

"You think I have angel eyes?" She asked with a delighted smile.

"Well, they're nice and big and green. Definitely angel-like." He leaned in. "Smells like an angel too."

"You're sweet. Who would have thought I'd fall in love with you out of all the people in the world?"

He scoffed. "You make it sound like you're on the losing end here."

"I'm just saying, who knew? Have you ever heard of that phrase? 'Fate is a fickle thing.' It's so true!"

"At least deny what I said."

She rolled her eyes. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. There."

"Sounds better."

Sakura glanced out the window and caught the way the sun's rays hit the rows upon rows of pine trees. It somewhat felt like they were leaving it all behind – the past. Going home to Tokyo, with the past behind them, ready to move on. It was a good feeling. She heaved a light sigh, still a little burnt out from all those emotions.

"If you could talk to Yuki one more time, what would you say?" She asked out of simple curiosity.

Syaoran followed her gaze and studied the beams of light. "'I can't believe you lied to me this whole time.'" The corner of his mouth lifted. "'But thanks for being my first friend, for loving me. And next time I see you, I'll introduce you to her.'"

Sakura angled her head, studying him.

"The one who got 110% of my heart," he supplied, then nodded firmly, concluding his farewell with it. "Then I'd say goodbye. Give her a hug if I could."

"Mm. That sounds like a good parting."

After a quiet pause, he then said, "Thanks for not walking away."

At the words, Sakura pushed back a little so she could fully face him. It was the young Syaoran speaking to her now. She could hear it in the tone of his voice; the young boy who was never loved properly and who never learned to trust in someone. Her heart, feeling overwhelmed, constricted.

"You can't get rid of me that easily," she managed to say.

Syaoran pulled her back to him. "Thanks for that too."

:::::::::

_Three Months Later_

"Why do you always have to win every single game?" Sakura cried, standing up with her hands digging into her hips. "Can't you be a gentleman for one second and let me win at least once?"

"I can't. I just wasn't born that way. I have to win. If you want to win so badly, pick a game you're actually good at."

In frustration, she walked off to his kitchen and refilled the bowl of chips. They'd been playing all the card games she knew how to play for almost four hours already and yet she hadn't even won once. He was such a liar, claiming he didn't know how to play any card game whatsoever. The moment the cards were dealt with, he became the friggin' card magician and beat her every single time. It was so annoying.

"I don't want to play anymore." She announced as she set the bowl on the coffee table and sat back down on the couch.

He chuckled as he grabbed a handful of chips. "What do you want to do then?"

"How about you cook dinner tonight?"

"Why? I won. You cook."

"Syaoran…! It's your turn," she objected fiercely. She grabbed his arm and pulled at it back and forth. "Come on!"

"But that's not fair to me. What do I get for winning all those games then?" He shot back, scratching his head. "I didn't cheat. It's not my fault you chose to play card games that you suck at."

Annoyed at the reminder, she spoke firmly. "Look. Just cook dinner because I'm really not in the mood to do it. I'll make it up to you after, okay? I'll clean up everything and wash all the dishes. Just go…cook. Please?" She added with an earnest smile.

"You're lucky I like you." He muttered, stealing a quick kiss before going to the kitchen.

As Syaoran began preparing the meal, Sakura cleaned up the mess they had made in his living room. When she gathered all the cards together, she stood and waked to the fireplace and glanced aimlessly. Now there was a picture of the two of them, with their cubicles as the background. It felt a little appropriate, she mused, considering that was how they had met in the first place.

The past six months with Syaoran was beyond hectic and a complete emotional rollercoaster, but she didn't want it any other way. As Tomoyo used to say, the love stories that usually last are those that endure a lot of pain in the beginning.

"I'm willing to help," Sakura said, walking to the sink to wash her hands.

"Here, you can peel these." He passed her a bag of potatoes.

As she began the first potato, she looked up at him, watching his back. It really was crazy how things could change in half a year. Who would have thought it would be him, she wondered? The _it _for her. Certainly not her. If she hadn't gone after it, she would have missed out on it all, just as Tomoyo had said. She probably would have moved on to another heartless jerk after Soshi.

He turned and caught the way she was staring at him. Still it made his heart skip a beat whenever she looked at him that way.

Without saying a word, she leaned upward and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

"What was that for?" He asked when she fell back on her heels.

"Just felt like it."

He grinned. "Are you going to see your dad and brother for Christmas?"

"Not this year. I'll go see them at New Year's. Come with me?"

"Yeah I want to meet them. So that means…Christmas, you're free to spend it with me?"

Sakura looked up, annoyed with the question. "Why are you even asking? Of course I'm spending it with you. It's our first Christmas together," she muttered the end as she looked back down at the potato in her hand.

"Why are you acting so shy?" He brought her chin up so he could see her eyes.

"I'm not being shy. I'm annoyed. You can be so slow sometimes," she answered back, angling her head in defiance. "I already booked the last week of December off, like I said I would. You did too, right?"

"Why would I even ask you to spend Christmas with me if I didn't have it off?" He retorted.

"Okay, before we start arguing like we usually do," Sakura began, bringing her hands up. "So we both have the last week of December off to spend together. It's our first Christmas, so…"

"You just don't want to lose an argument." She scowled. He knew her well. When she went back to peeling the potatoes in mild frustration, she felt him staring at her, and she ignored him. Amused, Syaoran continued watching her. "I got you an early present though."

Her head shot up. "What?"

As he expected, she was as bad a sucker for presents as she was for ice cream. "You kind of have to open it now or else…it'll get wasted." His gaze travelled to his bedroom. "It's on my bed. Go check it out."

Before he could even finish, she sprinted off. Alone in the kitchen, Syaoran shook his head in amusement. Everything about her was so friggin' adorable.

Cautiously Sakura opened the door. She turned on the lights as she put one foot in, then locked her gaze onto the bed. On top of a big white box was a smaller black box, both of them rectangular in shape. How could she not have noticed this? She practically lived in his house the past few months. Because he gave her the permission to open it, she walked over to it and touched the boxes gently.

"Can I open both boxes?" She called out, already itching to open them up.

"Yeah. Open the big one first."

She wondered why he wanted her to open the presents weeks before Christmas. Instead of mulling it over, she moved the small box aside and carefully untied the pink ribbon holding the white box closed. Then she lifted the top lid. Inside the white box was a bouquet of white and pink lilies, covered by transparent cellophane. There was a note attached to the stems. Filled with emotion, she fell limply on the bed.

_I should've given you these on our first date. Sorry for the wait, Princess. – Prince Charming_

Her tears came suddenly. She took the flowers out of the box and hugged it. He hated being called 'Charming,' which she still frequently called him. And all this time, he still refused acknowledging the fact that she thought of him as her own prince charming. So the fact that he bought her these flowers and even wrote out such a mushy letter brought a delightful flutter to her stomach.

Then she looked back down at the black box. Keeping the flowers tucked in one arm, she opened it. Inside were two plane tickets to Hawaii. Sakura looked up instinctively and saw Syaoran standing at the corridor, his hands tucked in his pockets. He was studying her reaction. Her knees gave way a little at the look in his eyes.

"I didn't win them though," he said as he walked into the room.

"You remember everything," she murmured in astonishment. "So you've finally accepted defeat and admit that you are my prince charming?"

"It's not that I'm admitting it. It's more like, if every woman had to have one, I'd have to be yours, because you can't be with anybody else." He squatted down in front of the bed, looking up at her. "What do you think? You want to go?"

"This is where we're going for Christmas?" Her voice grew in excitement.

He grinned. "If you want."

She placed her arms around his neck and let him lift her up in his arms as he stood. "Thank you for the presents," she murmured as he carefully laid her on the bed and pressed a soft kiss under her jaw. "I'm really happy."

"That's good." He slowly buttoned down her blouse, staring into her eyes.

As she looked up at him, she touched his cheek tenderly. "Will you marry me?"

Jolted, his hands froze as he automatically fell back.

At the comical expression on his face, she sat up. "Don't look so scared," she said while laughing.

"You-you did that on purpose," he accused then, grabbing her shoulders. "What, did you see the ring?" He demanded, almost angry.

Stunned at his question, she dropped back. "What?"

At her expression, he froze. "What?"

"Ring? You…got me a ring?"

In utter confusion, he stared helplessly at her. "You didn't see the ring? Then why'd you ask me to…"

"You…" Then she realized it. She'd beaten him to the proposal. He was going to ask her to marry him too. "You were going to ask me to marry you? In Hawaii?" She then asked, her eyes wide like saucers.

He was about to deny it all, but because of how bright her eyes were at that moment, he could practically hear the excitement buzzing around her. Dejectedly, he said, "That was the plan, yeah."

Her beaming smile came out while the water-works began. "I finally beat you."

A little exhausted, he fell back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "You actually proposed to me. What kind of man am I if the woman proposes first? That's not romantic," he muttered, bothered by it.

Ignoring it, she bent over him and gave him a kiss. When she pulled back, she asked one more time, "Will you marry me, Syaoran?"

He reached up and let her use his arm sleeve to wipe her tears. "Yes. But I still get to ask you in Hawaii and you won't get to see the ring until I ask you properly." With that, he got off the bed and walked out of the room.

Sakura pushed her face into a pillow, filled with more happiness to last her a lifetime and practically squealed it all out. After a long moment while still out of sorts, she sat up on the bed and gathered the flowers together. She put the tickets on the top of his drawer before stepping out of his room. By his bedroom door, she watched him tinkering in the kitchen.

He looked over at her. Beyond the happiness was the gratitude that someone else had come into his life like this, accepting all of him and giving him all the love he had missed out on in his life.

"Are you happy?" She asked as she walked towards him, holding the bouquet in her arms.

"Feeling pretty good on this end," he said as he kissed her forehead. "How about you? Happy?"

She nodded. "Because I finally found who I've been looking for all my life." She looked up at him. She'd thought for the longest time it was prince charming. But really, it was simply just, "You."

**The End**

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**Final A/N: **_-Releases a deep breath-_ Wow, it's finally over. It has been awesome writing this story and hearing from all of you. To everyone who read this from the very beginning to the end and have faithfully reviewed since then, thank you so so so much. I'd like to give you a virtual hug for your loyalty! For me, it used to be about the number of reviews, but it's changed over time. It's what people say in their reviews that really hit me and make me smile. I feel so encouraged about writing when I get those comments about how much you've enjoyed reading my story. To those who have read the story and alerted/'favorited" it, but was unable to leave a review, thanks for dropping by and reading this! I'm grateful to you as well - hopefully you can let me know somehow what you thought of it! And for the others who found it midway and began and continued reading, thanks for giving my story a chance. I hope your time wasn't wasted by reading this. =)

I won't be making epilogues or continuations of this story, because I honestly really liked where I ended it. I don't want this story to be one that's prolonged with unnecessary drama. The main points I hoped to make, I think I made by the end, so that's where I will leave it. I can't say when I will be writing another Card Captor-based story, since it requires so much effort and time to produce any story really, at least for me. I am always thinking, however, and whenever a new idea pops into my head, I start writing.

Lastly, to all you lovely people, I'm sure we'll all find what or who we're looking for someday, if we haven't found it yet. We just have to keep an open mind, an open heart, and perhaps expect the unexpected sometimes. =D I hope I made you all smile with this story. That was my goal upon writing it. So. With that, thanks for tuning in, and see you next time!


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